A Torah Scholar

[urso8up]

A young woman brings home her fiancé to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man. The father invites the fiancé to his study for a drink.
"So what are your plans?" the father asks the young man.

"I am a Torah scholar," he replies.

"A Torah scholar. Hmm..." the father says. "Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice home for my daughter to live in as she's accustomed to?"

"I will study," the young man replies, "and God will provide for us."

"And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring such as she deserves?" asks the father.

"I will concentrate on my studies," the young man replies, "and God will provide for us."

"And children?" asks the father. "How will you support children?"

"Don't worry, sir, God will provide," replies the fiancé.

The conversation proceeds like this, and each time the father questions, the young idealist insists that God will provide.

Later, the mother asks, "How did it go, honey?"

The father answers, "He has no job and no plans, but the good news is he thinks I'm God."

[urso8up]

Government Job Opening


A guy goes to the Government to interview for a job.
The interviewer asks him, "Are you a veteran?"
The guy says, "Why yes, in fact, I served two tours
in Vietnam." "Good," says the interviewer, "That
counts in your favor.

Do you have any service-related disabilities?"
The guy says, "In fact I am 100% disabled. During a
battle, an explosion removed my private parts so they
declared me disabled, it doesn't affect my ability to work, though."

"Sorry to hear about the damage, but I have some good
news, for you, I can hire you right now! Our working
hours are 8 to 4. Come in about 10, and we'll get you started."

The guy says, "If working hours are from 8 to 4, why
do you want me to come at 10?"

"Well, here at the government, we don't do anything
but sit around and scratch our balls for the first two
hours. No point of your coming in for that