The "Harry Met Sally" analogy

[redsquirrel]

So, in the movie, Harry says that it is impossible for men to be friends with a woman who he finds attractive. Men ultimately want to have sex with the female, making friendship impossible.

What do you guys think?

In some respects, I can see his point. BUT- women have more restraint in some aspects. Men tend to think with the other head, which backs up Harry's line of thinking. Although I'm sure women think about it, and entertain the idea, men usually are more apt to act on it.

[Timma]

I am having this problem right now, except this girl is not helping matters by saying how much she wants me. She's ready to jump my bones, but i'm keeping my cool cause I'm not screwing things up with me and my g/f. But if I didn't have a g/f I think I could keep it as just friends.

[redsquirrel]

Originally posted by Timma
I am having this problem right now, except this girl is not helping matters by saying how much she wants me. She's ready to jump my bones, but i'm keeping my cool cause I'm not screwing things up with me and my g/f.

GOOD BOY. After a man cheats, it is virtually impossible to trust them 100% ever again.

Were you two friends first?

[Timma]

Originally posted by redsquirrel
GOOD BOY. After a man cheats, it is virtually impossible to trust them 100% ever again.

Were you two friends first?

Not really. We knew each other but never really talked.

[spidey]

I have had lasting friendships with women I was sexually attracted to. It wasn't worth a good friendship to ruin it by making a move.

That premise makes men out to be sex crazed animals without the mental capability to control their behavior. Being a man (last time I checked), I disagree. It isn't even that hard to do.

[decadecadeca]

Eh, I agree with Harry. If it's just a casual friend then yeah it can stay innocent. But if she's a close friend, sooner or later it's gonna get weird and you'll wind up foolin around or in the sack. I know lots of women and consider some friends, but none are close personal friends. My wife is my best friend and it's better for everyone if it stays that way.

Plus, what is cheating? Does it have to be sex or does someone emotionally attached to you count? I say stay away from the temptation altogether or else it's gonna be bad news one day.

[bad14u]

I "entertain" the thoughts of having sexual relations with women who are my friends quite often! I have not had a chance nor do I want a chance to act on them...right now anyway! The mother of my son, my girlfriend once again, and I are trying to give it another shot and everything is going great! If I were single and living the lifestyle that I once was I would be trying my hardest to bang them!

[redsquirrel]

Originally posted by bad14u
If I were single and living the lifestyle that I once was I would be trying my hardest to bang them!

Case and point.

Thanks, Harry.

[redsquirrel]

Originally posted by beefcake
I don't think that is quite fair though, bad14u represents the much more wild population of us men.

RRRRIIIIIIIGGHHTTT. Blame it all on bad14u


I'm not bitin'!

[SMACKAVELI]

Sally: We are just going to be friends, OK?
Harry: Great, friends. It's the best thing...You realize, of course, that we can never be friends.
Sally: Why not?
Harry: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape, or form - is that men and women can't be friends, because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry: No, you don't.
Sally: Yes, I do.
Harry: No, you don't.
Sally: Yes, I do.
Harry: You only think you do.
Sally: You're saying I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry: No, what I'm saying is they all want to have sex with you.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive.
Harry: No, you pretty much want to nail them, too.
Sally: What if they don't want to have sex with you?
Harry: Doesn't matter, because the sex thing is already out there, so the friendship is ultimately doomed, and that is the end of the story.

[bad14u]

Originally posted by redsquirrel
I'm not bitin'!

I bite if she likes it! But Red...in all honesty I am very different from alot of the guys I do know that are single and have female friends! When they introduce me to their female friends I always ask them if they have anything going on or are interested in them that way. And a lot of them will say that they are just friends and have no intention of ruining a good friendship with sex! I just don't let myself become that good a friend so when we do have sex I haven't ruined a good friendship!

[Cannons]

Basically its up to the man to control his animalistic urge and desire to hump everything in this world that has a vagina. Lets face it, God made us this way so that we would pro create. In many cases, if we didn't have the burning desire to plant our seed (so to speak) this world would be close to empty and the human race may be close to dying. So, I would say yes its totally true and natural that a man would want to have sex with a woman especially one who is his best friend. However, if you have evolved past the primal state that some of us haven't (or choose not to, LOL!) then men and woman CAN be friends without sexual tension and frustration getting in the way. I have a few EXTREMELY hot female friends whom I would have sex with in a second; if we weren't such good friends!! What guys need to understand also, is that a woman friend is your key to understanding the woman that you DO date (or screw). Most of the time woman friends (who you've not slept with) are more likely to divulge womanly secrets to you than woman that you have slept with, because there is no fear there...the fear of you trying to get on her when she says certain things, I guess. Thats just my point of view. They can also keep you from getting "burned" by other women because of that intuition that they have.........its amazing. Just my .02.

[Stonecold54]

Originally posted by redsquirrel
So, in the movie, Harry says that it is impossible for men to be friends with a woman who he finds attractive. Men ultimately want to have sex with the female, making friendship impossible.

What do you guys think?

In some respects, I can see his point. BUT- women have more restraint in some aspects. Men tend to think with the other head, which backs up Harry's line of thinking. Although I'm sure women think about it, and entertain the idea, men usually are more apt to act on it.

well I want Red so I guess it supports the theory. LOL

I try to stay away from hot girls if I can. I just love women so much that I have to stay away. I grant myself hooters time but if i got to know a really hot women too well I know I would be tempted.

[redsquirrel]

Originally posted by stonecold54
well I want Red so I guess it supports the theory. LOL

I try to stay away from hot girls if I can. .

So, that must be why you flirt with me all the time!

It's ok. I love it!



....NOW take my pics down from your ceiling and clean them off!

[pudgy]

"women need a reason to have sex , men just need a place"- billy crystal

[redsquirrel]

That's what I'm talking about!

[Stonecold54]

Originally posted by redsquirrel


So, that must be why you flirt with me all the time!

It's ok. I love it!



....NOW take my pics down from your ceiling and clean them off!

i know I had to use my walls for pudgies pictures now that yours are on the ceiling.

[dreamgirl]

I think that I agree with Harry. I think men fantacize about any women they come in contact with, especially friends because they see them more often. I think men have control, but I still think that they are thinking sex all the time.

[pudgy]

women say we are always thinking about sex like its a bad thing, lol

[Stonecold54]

Originally posted by pudgy
women say we are always thinking about sex like its a bad thing, lol

women want it just as much but they don't talk about it as much except with the "girls". In College i learned that there really is not much difference in the slutiness of guys as compared to girls. LOL and thats about the only thing I learned in college.

[redsquirrel]

Originally posted by beefcake
I think it lies more in that society sees it as being ok for a guy to be a slut, however if a girl lets her slutiness be known, then she's tainted and outcasted.

RIDICULOUS DOUBLE STANDARD

[redsquirrel]

Originally posted by beefcake

Dude- How many times are you going to change your avatar??

Who's the girl?

[dreamgirl]

Originally posted by stonecold54
women want it just as much but they don't talk about it as much except with the "girls". In College i learned that there really is not much difference in the slutiness of guys as compared to girls. LOL and thats about the only thing I learned in college.

I was in a sorority in college and I wouldn't say all the girls were realy slutty, but some really were... I swear they had a different partner every night of the weekend... I was definattely not one of those types.

[redsquirrel]

Originally posted by beefcake
Exactly my point. Once a girl is branded a ho, it fucks up any chance she has with certain types of guys.

Right. And for that matter, a girl's number of partners could be ONE TENTH of a guys and she's still thought of as a ho.