How do you Cope!

[bjbabe]

Ok, i am very depress! Let me tell you why. On Thanksgiving my mom got the news that my Grandmother (My Mom's Mom) was really sick and that she wasn't doing well. Well on Monday she passed away, i was really close to my Grandmother and i dont know how to deal with her loss. Second, My aunt just had a horrible car accident and is in critical care. Third, I just found out that my grandfather (My Mom's Dad) has cancer.
I have not been able to fall asleep cause everytime i do i end up crying. I really need to know how to cope. I had a horrible panic attack on Monday to the point that i broke out in Hives and my Friends Dad ended up taking me home.

Need advice on how to cope with such a loss? I miss my Grandmother so much, what upsets me the most is that i wasn't there to see her for one last time, also that i am not there now, cause she is so far away!

Sorry to go on and on.

[house1]

time is the only thing that heals pain like this--

when your feeling down -- reflect on the good times you had with your grandmother-

she will always be there!! she is just a memory away

[Face]

I'm sorry bjbabe that you have been having such a tough time of it. I don't think there is a best way to cope with situations so close to the heart. Time is the only real healer.

Take care and look after yourself......

[Puddles]

I'm so sorry for your loss and illness in your family.

Time helps. So does talking to them. After I lost my father I set up a little area in my armoire with a few of the most recent cards he'd sent me (my b-day, vallentine's day, etc.) and some of his personal belongings that were on his dresser. I go there and talk to him and hold his things and it makes me feel closer to him again. He's been gone a year and a half and time does help make it tollerable but I'll always miss him, especially around the holidays.

My husband's grandmother passed about 9 months ago and we got some of her things too. I have some of the stuff she cooked with and an apron and everytime I'm in the kitchen using those things it makes me remember her so fondly. For Thanksgiving I made rice pudding in her memory in the dish she always served it in.

I guess keeping loved ones alive in your thoughs and sharing memories with your family is the best thing you can do to ease the pain as time goes on.

Of course right now you're still in shock, but trust me, in time it will get better hun. Just hang in there. If you're so stressed by it all that you're getting hives, etc., a glass or two of wine may help, just to calm the nerves down. If that's not enough, visit the doc. for a prescription of either vallium to help you during the day or a sleep aid for night for the next couple of weeks.

[THE BOUNCER]

There really is nothing anyone can say that will make the pain go away. My grandfather passed away 8 months ago and I have never felt pain like I felt and still feel since he has gone. We were very close and there isnt a day that goes by that I dont almost break down everytime I think of him.

In time you will slowly get better and will be able to sleep again. The pain never goes away though, atleast it hasnt for me.

[Stonecold54]

a good support group always helps and that is what those of us here can offer you. but you need one close to you as well. Sorry for your loss BJ

[buccaneer19]

i'm really sorry for your loss bj. time will heal your hurt and your grandmother will always be with you.

[bad14u]

Originally posted by THE BOUNCER
The pain never goes away

Sorry to hear about the loss of your grandmother and everything else that is going on in your life Babe. Like Bouncer said the pain never goes away but you do learn how to cope with it as time goes on and eventually you don't break down everytime you think about them! I lost my dad and my stepmother two days before Christmas in '97 and believe me.....this time of year it gets bad but it doesn't hurt like it use to! You gradually learn how to deal with the pain!

I remember...I guess it was about nine months after they had died, my father came to me in a dream and he told me....."Booboo...don't cry for me anymore. I am in a far better place now and reunited with my mom and dad, and your mother's mom and dad. We take long fishing trips together like we did when you were a kid. But best of all...I don't need a plane to fly anymore...here I have my own wings and they will take me where ever I want to go! So please...don't cry for me because I am doing just fine!"
I woke up and cried some more but I did come to realize that they were all still very close to me! They are as close as a thought or a dream or a memory!

I'm already there
Take a look around
I'm the sunshine in your hair
I'm the shadow on the ground
I'm the whisper in the wind
I'm your imaginary friend
And I know I'm in your prayers
Oh I'm already there.....

I'm already there
Don't make a sound
I'm the beat in your heart
I'm the moonlight shining down
I'm the whisper in the wind
And I'll be there until the end
Can you feel the love that we share
Oh I'm already there.....

Babe, my heart goes out to you and your family right now and I will keep all of you in my prayers!

[Timma]

I lost my uncle about 13 years ago, I was really young. It still hurts every once in a while when I think of him. He was always great to us. Time will heal. Just always think of the positives and it will help you get through, and be happy you had as much time with her as you did. So sorry to hear of your loss.

[phatchopper]

Lost my Mom when I was 9, so I think you should just be grateful that you were able to have that much time with the people you love, focus on the good times you had and be grateful you that you were able to have them in your life

[bjbabe]

Thank You all for your kind words! I guess we all have gone trough some sort of loss and griefs at some point in our lives.
Sorry of each of your losses my prayers also goes out to your love ones. I guess everyone is right time heals all wounds and memories are always there. It just seems to much for me right now, to make matters worse i am in finals and i just started a new job which makes it harder to be in Mexico with my Mom and the rest of the family.

Thank You!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1