Two priests - SuperiorMuscle.com

urso8up · #1 01-04-05, 06:10 AM

Two priests are off to the showers late one night. They undress and step into the showers, when they realize there is no soap. Father John says that he has soap in his room, so he goes to get it, not bothering to dress. He grabs two bars of soap, one in each hand, and heads back to the showers. He is halfway down the hall, when he sees three nuns heading his way. Having no place to hide, he stands against the wall and freezes like he's a statue. The three nuns stop and comment on how lifelike their new statue looks. The first nun suddenly reaches out and pulls on his penis. Startled, he drops a bar of soap. "Oh look," says the first nun, "It's a soap dispenser. " To test her theory, the second nun also pulls on his manhood. Sure enough, he drops the second bar of soap. Now the third nun decides to have a go at it. She pulls on his manhood a few times and nothing happens, so she pulls a few more times, but still nothing happens. She decides to give it one last try, so she pulls a few more times on his manhood, and then yells, "Holy Mary... It's a hand lotion dispenser, too!"

urso8up · #2 01-04-05, 06:11 AM

Two rednecks are driving down the highway, drinking their beer, when flashing lights from a policeman appear in the driver's rear-view mirror. "Don't worry!" says the driver to his friend, "Just do exactly what I tell you and everything will work out perfectly. First, we'll peel the labels off our beer bottles and each stick one on our forehead. Now shove all of the bottles under the front seat and let me do all the talking!" So they pull over to the side of the road and the cop walks up to the car. He shines his flashlight into the car and looks at the two drunks. "Have you been drinking?" he asks them. "Oh no, sir," replies the driver. "I noticed you weaving back and forth across the highway. Are you sure you haven't been drinking?" the cop asks. "Oh, no sir," the drunk answers. "We haven't had a thing to drink tonight." "Well, I've got to ask you," says the cop, "What on earth are those things on your forehead?" "That's easy, officer," says the drunk. "You see, we're both alcoholics, and we're on the patch!"