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#1
03-25-05, 10:23 AM
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Skippy
A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for Christmas dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.
The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart. It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poof._ Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing under the woman's chair, and said in a rather stern voice, "Skippy!" The woman thought, "This is great!" and a big smile came across her face. A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer rrrrrip. The father again looked at the dog and yelled, "Dammit Skippy!". Once again the woman smiled and thought "Yes!" A few minutes later the woman had to let another rip. This time she didn't even think about it. She let a fart rip that rivaled a train whistle blowing. Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, "Dammit Skippy, get away from her, before she shits on you!"
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"Working out is like building a house, everytime you do a half-ass workout, you're not laying a brick, someone else is." - Dorian Yates "Man cannot remake himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculptor." - Alexis Carrel "Whenever you're not in the the gym training, someone else out there is, and when you meet them, they will beat you." - Victor Martinez 
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#2
03-25-05, 11:18 AM
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An Embarrassing Moment
A lovely lady walks into a Mercedes dealership. She browses around, then spots the perfect car and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the fine leather upholstery, a loud fart escapes her. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone had noticed her little accident. She turns back, and there, standing next to her, is a salesman. "Good day, Ma'am. How may we help you today?" Very uncomfortably she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?" He answers, "Ma'am, if you farted just touching it, you are going to shit when you hear the price."
__________________
"Working out is like building a house, everytime you do a half-ass workout, you're not laying a brick, someone else is." - Dorian Yates "Man cannot remake himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculptor." - Alexis Carrel "Whenever you're not in the the gym training, someone else out there is, and when you meet them, they will beat you." - Victor Martinez
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