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#1
05-26-05, 06:09 AM
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My Grandpa
I hope this will again confirm that the most important information in your life won't come from a teacher, the library or the Internet. It comes from a mentor, and on a very personal level.
My long-passed grandfather's birthday is coming up, and for me it is a time to reminisce. We used to take long walks and drives together. He would make special trips to pick me up so I could spend weekends with him. I was young when he died. If he were living today and sharing his pearls of wisdom, I'd be a better man. Those gems were well and good, but the one I remember best, the jewel in the crown of grandfatherly advice came from him when I was only 12. We were sitting in a park, watching children with their mothers enjoying a beautiful spring day. He told me that one day, I'd find a woman and start my own family. Then he said, "And be sure you marry a woman with small hands." "Why should I do that, Grandpa?" I asked. "It makes your pecker look bigger." Kinda brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it.
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 Laugh long, live long, Yesterday is history Tomorrow is a mystery Today is a Gift That is why they call it the present 
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#2
05-26-05, 06:12 AM
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The definition between "guts" and "balls"!
The definition between "guts" and "balls"! Guts - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?" Balls - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, "You're next."
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Laugh long, live long, Yesterday is history Tomorrow is a mystery Today is a Gift That is why they call it the present
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#3
05-26-05, 06:14 AM
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I love the second one
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I have screamed until my veins collapsed I've waited as my time's elapsed Now, All I do is live with so much fate I've wished for this, I've bitched at that I've left behind this little fact: You cannot kill what you did not create Superior Muscle Does not promote the use of anabolic steroids without a doctor's prescription. The information shared is for learning purposes only.
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