Full of stress, what would you do in my situation.

[Shibby]

Well the last two weeks I have been working a summer job (second job) helping build a house. I last worked on Tues and had been so worn out. Missing workouts, not eating well. As of Wed the job was being put on hold and I was probably done helping. I felt relieved and happy. Throught the time I was depressed also and fighting with my girlfriend alot. Earlier today I found out my step-dad is diagnosed with prostate cancer. My mom was so upset and I was there while all she could do was cry. Couldn't get words out. He was at work. It got me thinking about my health and how I want to do everything I CAN to not create problems that can be some what controlled. I hate the thought of having a condition and my girlfriend being put through that kind of pain and my future son. Just a little while ago I found out the the job is back on come monday. It is good money and we are buying a car at the end of July, Moving into an apartment and the money would be helpful. I don't want to go back to building the house along with my job at the hotel because I was misarable before. My sleeping schedule was something like this. Work 11pm to 7am, sleep 8am-12pm (at best becuase it is hard to actual fall into REM), go work on the house 1pm-5pm, I want to work out after that, but to function I try to get at the most 5 hours more of sleep to continue to function (again having trouble falling into REM becuase it's still daytime.) As you read this I'm sure it seems cluttered but that is how my mind is going right now.

[njjuicer]

priorites my freidn ive taken sum time off of the gym cuz i been busy wit shit that take spresidence over working out right now as much a si love it i know that eventually ill get back to it when i can so i said fuck it but im not u so u do what u think u should

[Shibby]

Yea, but I can't decide what is more of a priority. Skipping the gym, being exauhsed, getting depressed, fighting with my pregnant girlfriend, going to work making an extra $100 a week, or give up on the $100 with a baby on the way and be happy.

[Shibby]

And when I think about doing the extra work and missing taking care of myslef, it goes back to the pain I saw my mom in today and is it worth it. I know I'm young but you never know about bad health until it's too late.

[THE BOUNCER]

It dosent sound like its the best time in the world for you right now my friend. It sounds to me like you are way over worked and on top of that may have some depression going on. You might want to talk to a doc and see if medication would help. Weather or not you want to say so, im sure there is a part of you that wishes this baby wasnt comming at this rough point in your life. Stress can kill brother, that isnt just a saying. You need to change something in your life or else something will eventually break under the stress.

[jwoody]

Plus, no offense, but 100 dollars a week doesn't seem like it would be worth it to me. But that is just me.

Woody

[Shibby]

It can be stressful having the baby come unplanned as far as money is concerned. But I can't wait until he is born. I have been fine until I started building the house. The last two weeks were hell. I thought after the first week I would start adjusting, but never did. My girlfriend has told me it would be hard for her to handle me like I was for another 6-7 weeks. I honestly don't think medication would help becuase it mostly come just from being exhausted and not having gym results to show for it. When the weekend comes and I can get some extra sleep, my mood almost takes a 180.

[Shibby]

I could also tell that my mood was making my girlfriend upset and that bothered me also.

[Shibby]

Originally Posted by jwoody

Plus, no offense, but 100 dollars a week doesn't seem like it would be worth it to me. But that is just me.

Woody

yea when I look at it like that I don't think so either. But when school starts I am done and I will have 700-900 dollars more towards a car. But I ask myslef is that really as much as it sounds?

[BBAddict]

Every time I think about my job or money in relation to choices with my family, I remember what my Grandpa told me--nobody ever says on their deathbed that they wished they had worked more!! Always choose family over job or money, IMO.

[Shibby]

That's true. But I also think that I am just wimping out and I need to step up and deal with it since I am going to be a father soon. But that may be just be too much pride.

[jwoody]

Every time I think about my job or money in relation to choices with my family, I remember what my Grandpa told me--nobody ever says on their deathbed that they wished they had worked more!! Always choose family over job or money, IMO.

[johnstephenson]

Wow man you sound just bogged... IMO I would try and stick with 1 job and then focus on you and your relationship, I believe that if you start taking care of yourself again you will feel better all around and then i would just try and keep you and the mother of your future child happy... If this is your first child it is mentally straining trying to prepare for him/her.
The whole car thing, do you really need a new car right now?? with all the things coming it might be somthing to think about later..
You ever think of leaving the hotel and getting a diff job??

Whatever you do I wish you the best of luck, just dont let the stress come home with you.. think of it as a place to escape the stress..good luck bud

[THE BOUNCER]

Originally Posted by Shibby

I will have 700-900 dollars more towards a car. But I ask myslef is that really as much as it sounds?

no its not. 700-900$ isnt much of anything but a little bit of a down payment. hell we had an $11,000 incentive to buy our house that we could use as a down payment or upgrades or whatever. it was nice to have but if i really think about it, it didnt do much in terms of us buying the house and mortgage and so on.

[Shibby]

Yes, we will need the car. I am using my parents work type truck ( there truck just for hauling trash, cut down trees ect. of there property) and will be moving about 20 mins away from them. The hotel job is perfect for while I am in school so there wouldn't really be a better job for me.

[johnstephenson]

So public transportation is out then?

[Shibby]

public trans lol, the town I go to school and work in takes about 10mins at the most to drive through. No reall demand for it I do like public trans though. I moved her after spending a year and half in the SF area. They have great public trans. It would be nice to have here.

[Mommie2Hottie]

Shibby, it is sooo important to take care of yourself first, as long as it is not at the expense of others. I assume that this is your first child. I guarantee you that things will NOT get any easier when the baby comes. He'll be waking up every 2-3 hours to be fed/changed. Your girlfriend will be recovering from delivery, and her hormones may be more whacked out than usual. Your family will need you to be healthy and strong.

We have five children and every once in awhile, Hubby considers a part-time job but I won't hear of it. Our time with the children is precious and limited as well as our time with each other.

I wish the best for you, no matter what you decide.

[buccaneer19]

i know its a tough time right now but everything will fall into place man, i wish the best for ya

[Primal Instinct]

Family first and everything else where you can fit it in, Shibby. When I say family, I mean primarily your health and wellbeing because if you go down from injury or get overstressed and constantly snapping at everyone, your family will suffer as well. It sounds like you need cash but you also need your health, which is far more important. Rome wasn't built in a day and neither was a new family structure. These things take time to settle in and become a smooth routine. When the baby comes, you will probably suffer from the same sleep deprivation because they only sleep for a few hours at a time at best. Maybe you should just focus on your normal job and put out the fires on the homefront (dealing with your girlfriend, eating healthy, getting proper rest, supporting mom & dad through this troubling time) and the other things will eventually find an equilibrium in your life. Sleep and nutrition are sooo important for maintaining health. I don't know if you have any health insurance or not but consider this; one bout in the hospital without insurance can ruin some people financially. I'd say to slow down a bit before you crash and burn and crap really hits the fan. What good is a relationship if you're making it miserable? Spend a little quality time with the GF and talk it over with her. Reconnect and then go on from there. Good luck, bro!

[bad14u]

Shibby....take it from a guy that just went through the same situation.....YOU need to take care of yourself first! Stay healthy! You won't be doing anyone any good if you work yourself into an early grave. Regardless of your financial needs in the future you first need to stay mentally healthy. Being over-worked and stressed can lead to bad decision making, mood swings and an unhealthy relationship between you and your girl. She and that baby need you more right now than any amount of money. Regardless of the hours you work or how much you get paid during that time it can't replace the time you will miss out on with them. I just quit my 2nd job, THANK GOD, and the time I spend with my family has given me more than any amount of money could....HAPPINESS and PEACE OF MIND! Take care of yourself, finish school and be there for your family in the long run......not necessarily in that order though! Good luck Bro!

[Shibby]

Thanks everyone for your help. As of about a couple hours ago things worked themselves out. I talked to the guy I was helping and we came to the conclusion that it would be best for both of us if he asked this other guy to be his helper. With my schedule, the majority of the time we would be working during the 4-5 hottes hours of the days. I live in Oklahoma and when the temp get in the 90's and above with the humidity it can really kill you. The guy I work with is also in like is late 50's and he just can't handle it to much either. There are also things that are better done when it's not so hot espeaccially when it comes to the roofing. It is better for him to get use to working with someone else now and get a rythm going. My parents understand and know that I am working hard and it looks like I shouldn't worry so much about the car. Things always have a way of working out when you have great support group around you. My girlfriend already seems so much happier and we are both relieved.

[bad14u]

Glad to hear it Bro!

[BBAddict]

Sounds like it worked out great for all of you. Enjoy the time with your family!