i never felt this before

[JUICE]

My girl just left me, she sounded serious this time. I gave her the world, never hit her, cussed at her, never layed a hand on her, never cheated on her, never lied to her, nor ditched her for my friends. We were together for about 3 years and 6 months. I was always there for her since day one. I just got a call today, had an ugly feeling about it, until she told me she didnt have feelings towards me anymore. I tried working it out with her and all, but it didnt help at all. Ive been in tears all day, thinking about her. This weekend we just had a trip down at a state park camping. This was the best time ive ever had with her. We were happy the whole way, until she caught me off guard this afternoon. Like they say there are always two sides of a stroy, heres mine. Guess she got tired of me because i wasnt ambitious. She wants a future and didnt see one in me. For the first time in 3 years, ive gotten federal help with school so now i can go full time for a full year. By the time i will graduate from school. My career job i wanna do is a Firefighter. Hopefully by next year there will be the exams. I had everything planned out. I was hoping to propose to her within this year or early next year. I love this girl so much, shes the sweetest and honest person ive ever met. We've had our ups and downs but it was all good. She just caught me off guard this time, i didnt expect it.

At time we would fight and all , but i saw nothing wrong. Next day things were cool. But this time it felt for real. Ive never cried so much in my life. I just want to not wake up and feel such pain. I want her to be part of my life. Ive never felt heartache before. I know theres alot of girls out there but im not interested in anyone but here. Most girls here in town, are slutty, use drugs, have bf's, are married, or just cant trust them. Its a city of about 250,00 thousand people with mexcio with 400,000, so about half a million. I just want her.

[rvgfrth4g]

I feel your pain bro. I've been there before. But I know you're not thinking of anyone or anything but her. But last time I felt like this yrs ago I thought the same things you did also. But then ironicly when I wasn't looking I happened to find better girl than any I've ever had. What i'm trying to say is try to be positive and be on the go so you don't stop and think about it. You said she didn't see ambition in you but you going back to school shows ambition to me. Things will get better....

[IntensityX]

Yes it hurts we all have been there so we know how you feel bro like BR54 said things will get better the pain will go away.

Give her some time bro I bet she will come back to you maybe she just needs some time to herself to think.

[JUICE]

damn i can't sleep guys. Woke up in tears, had a dream about her. I don't wanna lose her completely. I really don't want anyone else but her in the future. She says we were a habit of being together, but i didnt see that. I saw everything in her, but damn this shit sucks and its killing me bad.

[urso8up]

I know how you feel i have been there and went through it all but I have a question have you told her how you feel towards her. I mean you are here telling us when you should probably be talking to her and telling her all you have told us

[BBAddict]

Damn dude, I don't know what my hormones are doing, but I'm all choked up reading this! Does she know everything you just typed here? Maybe you need to let her know what your plan for your life and more importantly your life with her is. If she can't see herself in that life, then she's not the girl for you. As hard as it is, sometimes the fact is that the current person is not the right person. I believe that there is a right person for everyone and when you meet that person you both know. If she's not the right one, you'll only be robbing yourself by settling for the another woman. Good luck-let us know how it goes.

Now go hit the gym to try to take your mind off shit!

[Chadd77]

You got to stay busy brother. You have to do everything possible to keep your mind of the situation. It sounds like she needs some time away. Give her that time and if she doesn't come back it was her loss not yours. Right now you have to surround yourself with friends. Stay busy. Go to the gym. Keep your mind occupied on other things. I know it will be hard but you will get through this. It’s another obstacle in life that you will conquer.

[Timma]

^^^ I totally agree with Chadd77. Just try your hardest to keep your mind off it. Give it a little while and see what happens. Then talk to her and tell her how you feel and find out why she left. If you don't get her back, just hang on and you'll be ok. Someone else will come along, but don't go searching for someone.

[Cory]

Good luck, amigo!! I know you will get through this. You are a strong one!!

[rvgfrth4g]

It sounds like she's been holding some stuff in for a long time that she never told you. Sounds like she has some resentment towards you. Either way try getting her tell all and maybe ya'll can work through it. Also, while all this is panning out its a good idea to go see a girl thats a good friend of yours and tell her whats going on. A friend thats a girl cna help out and they're good listeners in situations like this. I always turned to my friend that was a girl when I found my self in a situations like this and it always helped. It seemed I never wanted to talk to my guy friends about stuff like this and always talked to my friends that were girls. Cause you can talk to girls forever about this stuff. When guys are like it'll be ok, it'll get better. lol

[phatchopper]

hey bro you've said yourself you have not been acting like your "normal" self lately, I bet that has a lot to do with it. You need to get your ass back in the gym, I know its probably one of the last things on your mind but it will help. You said you have not been to the gym in 3 months or something like that, well I think its time to get back at it. I have been where you're at right now and it sucks, I can bet you have been somewhat depressed for a little while now and I can guarantee she sees that and may be getting sick of someone who is feeling sorry for himself and not getting shit done. I am not trying to be a dick at all I could be completely wrong but I seriously think you need to pull your shit together and just be the man you know you are. Go to the gym today, just today, one time tell me if it doesnt help.

You also have to realize what you have going for yourself and not dwell on the negative. You have your health, your family and your friends still. I know that all you want is her but if you get your ass off the couch and out into the world I can guarantee you will meet a great chic. you have a lot going for yourself, judging from your avatar your a pretty big dude, you know there are plenty of girls out there who want your nuts ). Even if you dont meet the love of your life right away you can have some fun along the way. Dont let this get you too down man, focus on what you can do, not what you cant, the only way to go is up from here brother.

[dot1]

I have been married for 18 years this week. The best thing for our relationship was we have similar hopes and ambitions. We never have fights over money or investments. We have had our ups and downs but money is the number one reason for divorce. If you are not compatable in your expectations, you are just asking for trouble. I wish you the best and hope you can work it out.

[JUICE]

Originally Posted by urso8up

I know how you feel i have been there and went through it all but I have a question have you told her how you feel towards her. I mean you are here telling us when you should probably be talking to her and telling her all you have told us

i tried talking to her man but she just left without saying bye or anything, took off cry. Prior to this i tried telling her how i felt and my feeling towards her, but she said she didnt have any towards me anymore. I was thinking, could she have someone else, or is not simply interested in me after 3 1/2 years.

Originally Posted by BBAddict

Damn dude, I don't know what my hormones are doing, but I'm all choked up reading this! Does she know everything you just typed here? Maybe you need to let her know what your plan for your life and more importantly your life with her is. If she can't see herself in that life, then she's not the girl for you. As hard as it is, sometimes the fact is that the current person is not the right person. I believe that there is a right person for everyone and when you meet that person you both know. If she's not the right one, you'll only be robbing yourself by settling for the another woman. Good luck-let us know how it goes.

Now go hit the gym to try to take your mind off shit!

she knows everything.

Shes been a great girl towards me, just caught me off guard. My buddies tell me to give it time and all, maybe its meant to be or not. Some tell me to go out and meet other girls, but after being 3 1/2 years with someone its hard too. I know theres alot of attractive girls out there but im not interested in anyone else.

Originally Posted by Chadd77

You got to stay busy brother. You have to do everything possible to keep your mind of the situation. It sounds like she needs some time away. Give her that time and if she doesn't come back it was her loss not yours. Right now you have to surround yourself with friends. Stay busy. Go to the gym. Keep your mind occupied on other things. I know it will be hard but you will get through this. It’s another obstacle in life that you will conquer.

Its hard right now to focus. I just started school full time this week. Im taking classes with nothing but reading on them. Then on Monday I quit a job which wasnt worth it. I worked the 40 hours a week, without a lunch break, then had to be driving around with my own gas and car for 3 hours straight, advertising the job. Its gonna be hard to go back to the gym, im not even hungry, lost my appitite.

Originally Posted by Timma

^^^ I totally agree with Chadd77. Just try your hardest to keep your mind off it. Give it a little while and see what happens. Then talk to her and tell her how you feel and find out why she left. If you don't get her back, just hang on and you'll be ok. Someone else will come along, but don't go searching for someone.

i'll see how it goes bro, try to get my mind off of her for a while. Thats if i can hold it.

Originally Posted by Cory

Good luck, amigo!! I know you will get through this. You are a strong one!!

thanx bro, u a good pal

Originally Posted by BigRed54

It sounds like she's been holding some stuff in for a long time that she never told you. Sounds like she has some resentment towards you. Either way try getting her tell all and maybe ya'll can work through it. Also, while all this is panning out its a good idea to go see a girl thats a good friend of yours and tell her whats going on. A friend thats a girl cna help out and they're good listeners in situations like this. I always turned to my friend that was a girl when I found my self in a situations like this and it always helped. It seemed I never wanted to talk to my guy friends about stuff like this and always talked to my friends that were girls. Cause you can talk to girls forever about this stuff. When guys are like it'll be ok, it'll get better. lol

thats what ive been thinking man, shes probably holding something against me. Shes the type that is COLD, when it comes to feelings and stuff. When shes with her family shes the type that wouldnt hug me nor show feelings. But when she was with me alone, or other people she was all over me hugging me.

I really dont have any chick friends right now. I lost contact with them about 3 1/2 years ago when i met her. Your right, guy friends are like you will be "ok", guess its a guy thing.

Originally Posted by phatchopper

hey bro you've said yourself you have not been acting like your "normal" self lately, I bet that has a lot to do with it. You need to get your ass back in the gym, I know its probably one of the last things on your mind but it will help. You said you have not been to the gym in 3 months or something like that, well I think its time to get back at it. I have been where you're at right now and it sucks, I can bet you have been somewhat depressed for a little while now and I can guarantee she sees that and may be getting sick of someone who is feeling sorry for himself and not getting shit done.

my self-esteem is way too low. Havent cycled in about a year. My attitiute is negative towards things. I lost my drive to do things, to go out and stuff like that.

Originally Posted by phatchopper

I am not trying to be a dick at all I could be completely wrong but I seriously think you need to pull your shit together and just be the man you know you are..

nah man dont worry bro, i dont take it the wrong way and your right, I need to straighten up and put my shit together cause like this im not gonna get nowhere in life.

Originally Posted by phatchopper

Go to the gym today, just today, one time tell me if it doesnt help.

You also have to realize what you have going for yourself and not dwell on the negative. You have your health, your family and your friends still. I know that all you want is her but if you get your ass off the couch and out into the world I can guarantee you will meet a great chic. you have a lot going for yourself, judging from your avatar your a pretty big dude, you know there are plenty of girls out there who want your nuts ). Even if you dont meet the love of your life right away you can have some fun along the way. Dont let this get you too down man, focus on what you can do, not what you cant, the only way to go is up from here brother.

thanx bro

Originally Posted by dot1

I have been married for 18 years this week. The best thing for our relationship was we have similar hopes and ambitions. We never have fights over money or investments. We have had our ups and downs but money is the number one reason for divorce. If you are not compatable in your expectations, you are just asking for trouble. I wish you the best and hope you can work it out.

me and my girl, have had our up and downs too but with nothing major. We never had those on and off relationships. Ours was solid, everyone would comment on us how perfect we were and all. All her girlfriends would tell her how they wish they had a guy like me, good looking, smart, handsome, and treated her well.
We would at time talk about money issues. I had a part time job and going to school. Kinda hard cause i had to pay for my own books and classes. At times i had to manage my money right or i was gonna be dry. She said i became to stingy with money and all i did was cared for my self. I owe 3 grand in my credit card right now, im in debt big time cause i would always buy her stuff, take her out to eat, pay with my credit card. After a while I said i couldnt and wouldnt use it anymore. Problems started after a while .





Hey guys, I just hope I didnt bore u guys here. Im not doing this to get attention and stuff like that. I have alot of friends here in town but dont feel confortable talking to people here only my close friends. You guys have been cool with me since day one, u all are there with solid advice when one needs it. I consider you all my close buds too. I wanna say thanx for you alls advice on this. I'll just give it time for now and see how it all goes. Like you all said, if its meant to be, cool but if its not, I gotta learn to let go and learn from this 3 1/2 years of being with her something. Not to commit mistakes anymore and be more attentive. Thank yo all here.

[THE BOUNCER]

Originally Posted by JUICE

my self-esteem is way too low. Havent cycled in about a year. My attitiute is negative towards things. I lost my drive to do things, to go out and stuff like that.

Well I would say that is the problem. She said herself that you have no ambition. Nobody likes that kind of a person. Im gonna be honest with ya here bro, im not gonna hold back but just know that I think your a good guy and im trying to help here instead of bs'ing like most people do.

Juice, from the little part of the internet world that I know you from. You strike me as a person that kind of floats threw life. I dont see you as a person who sets goals and goes after those goals with everything you have. You said yourself that your self-esteem is low and your negative towards things. Add that to your lack of drive and you are not setting yourself up to be a success. I think this is a HUGE part of why she may have left.

Now, with that said. I have been threw the low self esteem thing just recently. Come to find out that I was very depressed due to moving and all the changes that were going on in my life. I finally went to see a doctor after fighting it for months and months. She gave me a 2 week sample of depression medication and damn If I dont feel great again after only 2 weeks!! Maybe you should see a doc bro and see if you have depression.

Once you get all that figured out. Here is my advice to you. JUST DO IT. You need to say to yourself, "i have been bitching and complaing for to long now, im just gonna take life by the horns and own this bitch!" Set goals bro, and knock all things that stand in front of you right on its fucking ass! Go get em bro and dont let me see you crying anymore! I will come whip your ass if need be!

[JUICE]

Originally Posted by THE BOUNCER

Well I would say that is the problem. She said herself that you have no ambition. Nobody likes that kind of a person. Im gonna be honest with ya here bro, im not gonna hold back but just know that I think your a good guy and im trying to help here instead of bs'ing like most people do.

Juice, from the little part of the internet world that I know you from. You strike me as a person that kind of floats threw life. I dont see you as a person who sets goals and goes after those goals with everything you have. You said yourself that your self-esteem is low and your negative towards things. Add that to your lack of drive and you are not setting yourself up to be a success. I think this is a HUGE part of why she may have left.

Now, with that said. I have been threw the low self esteem thing just recently. Come to find out that I was very depressed due to moving and all the changes that were going on in my life. I finally went to see a doctor after fighting it for months and months. She gave me a 2 week sample of depression medication and damn If I dont feel great again after only 2 weeks!! Maybe you should see a doc bro and see if you have depression.

Once you get all that figured out. Here is my advice to you. JUST DO IT. You need to say to yourself, "i have been bitching and complaing for to long now, im just gonna take life by the horns and own this bitch!" Set goals bro, and knock all things that stand in front of you right on its fucking ass! Go get em bro and dont let me see you crying anymore! I will come whip your ass if need be!

Your right about me bro. Gotta suck it up and take on things. Thanx for the advice.

[rvgfrth4g]

Originally Posted by JUICE

All her girlfriends would tell her how they wish they had a guy like me, good looking, smart, handsome, and treated her well.

There you go! If it doesn't work out with your g/f. Then don't burn the bridge and whatever hot friend she has will be coming your way soon. Her friends won't forget you and if you don't burn the bridge they'll feel sorry for you and they'll be calling. Sorry this info doesn't really help out the immediate situation though.

[hitmansb]

Juice, here are a few things to think about:

Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone who couldn't appreciate that you've been struggling to put yourself through school? Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone who, by the sounds of what you were telling us (problems starting around the time you couldn't drop tons of cash on her), is a bit of a high-maintenance moneygrubber? You deserve someone who loves you enough to wait for you to finish school before they want the house with the picket fence and all that jazz. Right now, don't even worry about her...to hell with her...and don't worry about meeting someone else right away either. You're finally at school full-time; embrace the experience, and pour your time and energy into really excelling. The rest will take care of itself, as it always does.

[THE BOUNCER]

Originally Posted by JUICE

Your right about me bro. Gotta suck it up and take on things. Thanx for the advice.

and go see the doc will ya.

[beefcake]

Do you know if there's someone else in the picture? Sounds like she's lost interest, but now that there may be someone else, she's gone through with the break up. It sucks, but there's nothing you can do but be strong.

[phatchopper]

Originally Posted by THE BOUNCER

and go see the doc will ya.

pick up the phone by the end of the day and make an appointment for yourself, or I'm coming with bouncer to slap your ass around.

[Lmg2701]

I agree with Bouncer's advice 100%. First things first, see a doctor.

After that make you a list of goals and "things you've wanted to do or accomplish in life short term and long term" and do it dammit.

1 Conrinthians 10:13
No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.