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#1
09-10-05, 08:31 PM
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a special someone in Canada....also a question for those that can give honest opinion
well first is first....im 21yrs old, went to canada 2months ago..for a vacation in st.johns newfoundland for 3months..
the last month i meant a pretty women, 30 yrs old..names Marilyn. Marilyn has 2 kids, 10 yr old, 7 yr old and divorced. The 2 friends i made while i was up there introduced marilyn to me..and ever since then she fell in love with me and i think im in love with her... Her and i have just about everything in common, we both lift weights, love havin a cup of black or green tea..lol, eat same foods, both have great sense of humor and personalities.. Her two kids love me to death, and i like them as well, there great kids..fun to be around with. Marilyn and i have went out a few times...took long walks around lakes, woods..and just around to show me what i havnt seen while i was there...very beautiful there around the bay. We pretty much opened up together, told alot about our past and things we love, hate, enjoy...etc. And its awsome, we can tell each other anything...in this short amount of time, its like were best friends been together for yrs.  So, one day my time came up...i had to go back to my job...vacation days were over. Before i lefted...she gave me her ring that she had on her finger for 10yrs as a sign of Dont Go. We hugged and i said goodbye...she said bak, "NO, dont ever say that, no byes, u will come back for me, ill miss you like crazy...never met a guy like u, u changed me...in a good way that ive never seen myself as." I looked into her eyes, seen those tears ready to fall down her cheeks....made me sad, but, i lefted...and said this time seeya keep in touch... Then i did, i lefted in a cab to the airport...while in cab..i was talking to the driver....thinking about Marilyn, told him the story bc it was an 40min drive. He says to me, "Why the hell are you going home...sounds like to me your both in love." I said i kno i dont know why, but i am. Home i am once again~ But ever 3 nites we call each other, talk for long times on phone, sended packages, letters back and forth so far. She has sended most romantic stuff through the mail...it was neat made me miss her more...as i sended back stuff, for example, i wore my favorite shirt for 1hr, then threw into the package with all the other goodies...and she loved it...shes wearing it to bed and she dont wanna wash it..bc she can still smell me...she drinks black tea alot now..bc it reminds her of me....i do the same. example... My gym's front entrance is under construction, i dont know what there doing but something...so we all have to enter the back doors which are solid cant see through 'em...so after i was done lifting...walking my way back there, Right before i opened the doors, i had this imagination in my head that she would be out there sitting on that wooden bench starrin at the doors waiting for me.... :hmmm: weird huh?!? As i walked out those doors, i could of sworn i seen her there smiling...looking at me, that look of i really miss you like crazy...as she always says before she hangs up on phone conversations. It freaked me out, made me more missin her...im always thinking about her. Things remind me of her...and also the pictures she sended i look at all the time, which are on my wall in my room....and also the luggage tag she sended as a sign hope u come back.....with my information and other side picture of st.johns newfoundland flag. So, we decided to wait until feb-mar to see if we feel the same about each other and if my answer will ever come to me on what to do...bc this is a huge choice ive ever made...for me moving up there.....i wont be moving away from much..just my mother and brother...rest of family i hardly see...i got nothing to loose, only bad thing could happend would be, marilyn and i wouldnt get along..then i would have to either stay work things out for myself...or move back here in Pennsylvania...back to old job. There are plenty of jobs up there, she has a house..and income. My question is...what would u do if u were in my postion....WOULD U GO OR STAY? BE honest..i know its my decision but id like to see what others think..especially ppl i dont know...bc obviously my brother in my family is the only one that said go if wanna go...its ur decision..hes cool with it. Sorry so long of story lol...but id like see what others think. Thank you for the time to read and answer if ur gonna... 
__________________
"Experiencing this pain in my muscles and aching and going on and on is my challenge. The last three or four reps is what makes the muscles grow. This area of pain divides a champion from someone who is not a champion. That's what most people lack, having the guts to go on and just say they'll go through the pain no matter what happens. I have no fear of fainting. I do squats until I fall over and pass out. So what? It's not going to kill me. I wake up five minutes later and I'm OK. A lot of other athletes are afraid of this. So they don't pass out. They don't go on." 
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#2
09-10-05, 09:02 PM
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For me being having someone to love is the most important thing.
other than that I was getting so distracted by your use of the "words" lefted and sented left not lefted sent not sented
__________________
 “Reason is not automatic. Those who deny it cannot be conquered by it. Do not count on them ... The truth is not for all men, but only for those who seek it." - Ayn Rand
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#3
09-10-05, 09:13 PM
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Tough call, sounds like a great girl, but you are a young guy. Nobody here will be able to give you an answer to your question, and in a lot of ways you cant either. Who knows what will happen, such is life. I remeber being in love at your age and thinking I would marry and happily ever after. Well 4 years later I'm single and happier than I ever was with that girl, or any girl for that matter. You need to weigh the possatives and negatives of leaving, and also place your heart into the equation. Funny how you meet people in the stranges of places. I go out to bars all the time and meet girls, get numbers etc.. but in my heart I dont think I will meet the person I will marry in a bar. All I know is that god has on hell of a sence of humor! Good luck buddy, I wish you the best of luck with whatever decion you make.
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#4
09-10-05, 09:21 PM
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Oh and just something to think about, if things didn't work out... you wouldn't just be breaking up with her. Her kids would be a part of that relationship also.
__________________
“Reason is not automatic. Those who deny it cannot be conquered by it. Do not count on them ... The truth is not for all men, but only for those who seek it." - Ayn Rand
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#7
09-10-05, 10:26 PM
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Quote:
__________________
"Experiencing this pain in my muscles and aching and going on and on is my challenge. The last three or four reps is what makes the muscles grow. This area of pain divides a champion from someone who is not a champion. That's what most people lack, having the guts to go on and just say they'll go through the pain no matter what happens. I have no fear of fainting. I do squats until I fall over and pass out. So what? It's not going to kill me. I wake up five minutes later and I'm OK. A lot of other athletes are afraid of this. So they don't pass out. They don't go on."
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#8
09-10-05, 10:27 PM
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Quote:
__________________
"Experiencing this pain in my muscles and aching and going on and on is my challenge. The last three or four reps is what makes the muscles grow. This area of pain divides a champion from someone who is not a champion. That's what most people lack, having the guts to go on and just say they'll go through the pain no matter what happens. I have no fear of fainting. I do squats until I fall over and pass out. So what? It's not going to kill me. I wake up five minutes later and I'm OK. A lot of other athletes are afraid of this. So they don't pass out. They don't go on."
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#9
09-10-05, 11:48 PM
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true man, same thing happend to my friend who went out with a girl with kids. After the breakup, it was hard because of her kids, how they were attached to my friend. hEY, BodyJBuild, i dont know man, its hard when you love someone bad.
__________________
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#10
09-11-05, 12:14 AM
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Quote:
K
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#11
09-11-05, 01:09 AM
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Quote:
__________________
"Experiencing this pain in my muscles and aching and going on and on is my challenge. The last three or four reps is what makes the muscles grow. This area of pain divides a champion from someone who is not a champion. That's what most people lack, having the guts to go on and just say they'll go through the pain no matter what happens. I have no fear of fainting. I do squats until I fall over and pass out. So what? It's not going to kill me. I wake up five minutes later and I'm OK. A lot of other athletes are afraid of this. So they don't pass out. They don't go on."
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#12
09-11-05, 04:52 AM
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how long as she been divored? is the guy still in the picture? this is the devils advocate in me but you need to find out the dirt now because love is blinding in a way that sucks sometimes. Down the road you don't want to be caught up in some shit. Keep your head on straight in situations like this.
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#13
09-11-05, 07:00 AM
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It's hard to find someone you connect with really well. You two seem to be hitting it off wonderfully. Sounds like a great chance to be with her and an adventure to move to a new area. You don't really have anything tying you down where you are now so if I were you, I'd go.
__________________
~~Fate does not come to us from the outside...it goes forth from within.~~
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#14
09-11-05, 08:04 AM
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As they say, "the longest journey begins with a single step". I think you should take all this a step at a time. Take your time, visit as often as is economically possible, communicate via phone, or online which is cheaper. Really get to know each other before you take a huge leap that will upset your, and her life, even if everything works out fine. Moving away from home in itself is trying and may effect how you perceive things with her. And on her side, having another person in her life, besides her kids, will alter how she also perceives things. You two are obviously very chemically, emotionally and physically attracted to each other and may indeed be "soul mates". However, as time goes on, even the brightest light loses some of it's brilliance. Give this initial meeting where you both were overwhelmed with each other some time. If in a period of time, enough time, at least 6 months or so, and you have seen and communicated with each other constantly, and the same feelings exist, you may then seriously consider moving. But realize, as time goes by, you both will probably lose some of the fire you see in each other and that is natural. Unless you are a very lucky and ususual pair, after you've been together for some time, you will not have the same intense desire for each other. Sure you may still love each other greatly, but it rarely remains the same as when you first meet someone. And just out of curiosity, why are you the one that needs to move? I'm sure you have as much to leave behind as she. I know she has kids, but is that really a reason for her to stay put? Might be good for her to have a change of venue. I guess I'm like SC said, a devil's advocate. What would she say if you asked her to move where you were? At any rate, I hope it all works out for you, but watch your six, and move with extreme caution. BB
__________________
Bonebreaker
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#15
09-11-05, 08:25 AM
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BodyJbuild- Do you want to have kids of your own? She already has two and is getting to a point in her age where it's not the best idea to have kids.
__________________
“Reason is not automatic. Those who deny it cannot be conquered by it. Do not count on them ... The truth is not for all men, but only for those who seek it." - Ayn Rand
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#16
09-11-05, 09:36 AM
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Hey BodyJbuild good story bro, I have a friend in an identical situation and he did go be with her (New Hampshire). He is really happy and things are working out well. He let her know he was wanted to take things really slow. However, Shibby makes a good point. You have to consider the long term.
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#17
09-11-05, 09:38 AM
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thanks puddles, its just hard to make the choice. shibby, i do, but then i dont want kids...she said she would have 1 more for me if i wanted one of my own.
__________________
"Experiencing this pain in my muscles and aching and going on and on is my challenge. The last three or four reps is what makes the muscles grow. This area of pain divides a champion from someone who is not a champion. That's what most people lack, having the guts to go on and just say they'll go through the pain no matter what happens. I have no fear of fainting. I do squats until I fall over and pass out. So what? It's not going to kill me. I wake up five minutes later and I'm OK. A lot of other athletes are afraid of this. So they don't pass out. They don't go on."
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#18
09-11-05, 06:17 PM
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im gonna go, i have to take this chance...i miss her too much..and shes very rare to find...bc im picky..shes not soo maintance..like on my hair my nails and things like that...shes not a tomboy...but perfect for me
get my shit paid off...then im heading out there....i dont wanna see here wondering what if?
__________________
"Experiencing this pain in my muscles and aching and going on and on is my challenge. The last three or four reps is what makes the muscles grow. This area of pain divides a champion from someone who is not a champion. That's what most people lack, having the guts to go on and just say they'll go through the pain no matter what happens. I have no fear of fainting. I do squats until I fall over and pass out. So what? It's not going to kill me. I wake up five minutes later and I'm OK. A lot of other athletes are afraid of this. So they don't pass out. They don't go on."
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#19
09-11-05, 06:18 PM
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thats a tuff question to anwser bro. my first thought would be you have notting to lose so go but then reading bonebreakers post makes alot of sence. remember your only 21 and there is still plenty of life left but it might bother you if you dont see what happens. shit bro im as confused as you. good luck in what ever you decide.
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#20
09-11-05, 06:22 PM
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Quote:
__________________
“Reason is not automatic. Those who deny it cannot be conquered by it. Do not count on them ... The truth is not for all men, but only for those who seek it." - Ayn Rand
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#21
09-11-05, 06:49 PM
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dont worry im taking my computer with me, hahaha
__________________
"Experiencing this pain in my muscles and aching and going on and on is my challenge. The last three or four reps is what makes the muscles grow. This area of pain divides a champion from someone who is not a champion. That's what most people lack, having the guts to go on and just say they'll go through the pain no matter what happens. I have no fear of fainting. I do squats until I fall over and pass out. So what? It's not going to kill me. I wake up five minutes later and I'm OK. A lot of other athletes are afraid of this. So they don't pass out. They don't go on."
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#22
09-11-05, 06:56 PM
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i agree bro...
__________________
vet@elite-pro-bodybuilding.com vet@fitnessgeared.com vet@worldclassbodybuilding.com nobilitatsch3@hushmail.com
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#23
09-11-05, 07:05 PM
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I'm with Shibby on this one.
Don't forget about financial ties too bro. Don't sign on her mortgage, bills, credit cards etc until you two are sure it's for real (say a couple of years from now). You will have to play a good game with this one so she doesn't think you're not committed etc and I'm not saying not to contribute your share to the relationship, just be smart. Also, she's probably set in her ways and you are easily influenced at your age (as am I too - I'm still pretty young in most people's views even though I've lead a strange life). It would be too easy for you to get stuck with no way out from under certain things and then you might feel obliged to stick around just to keep from going broke the rest of your life. Just some "serious" things to think about when you are in a "serious" relationship... :hmmm:
__________________
Previous: March '08 5'8" 230 Pounds 9% Bodyfat Curent: July '08 5'8" 242 Pounds 10.5% Bodyfat Goal: January '09 5'8" 250 Pounds 12.5% Bodyfat (picking up 10 pounds lbm)
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