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#1
03-16-06, 09:15 AM
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Blondes
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss
asked sympathetically, "What's the matter?" The blond replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away." The boss feeling very sorry for her says "Why don't you go home for the day. We aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest." "Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here." The boss agrees and allows the blond to work as usual. A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blond. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde hysterically crying. "What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?" he asks. "No!" exclaims the blonde. "I just received a horrible call from my sister and she said that her mom died too!" ************************************************** ********** A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. "How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her. "Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied. "What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?" "No, Silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000 for these breast implants, I'm not shooting myself in the chest." "So then?" asked the doctor. "Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth." "So then?" "Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."
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"Working out is like building a house, everytime you do a half-ass workout, you're not laying a brick, someone else is." - Dorian Yates "Man cannot remake himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculptor." - Alexis Carrel "Whenever you're not in the the gym training, someone else out there is, and when you meet them, they will beat you." - Victor Martinez 
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