Damn she is so hard to deal with

[BigSoda]

My sons mother kills me it seems like she is bipolar or something . !minute she wants to try and work things out as a family the next she wants nothing to do with me??Seems like its a tug of war with her.She is drivin me crazy.I am with a wonderful women that loves me and my kids to death,perfect in all ways the only thing Im scared of is that there might be a chance 1 day to bring my family together even though the women Im with now is 10x better all around she dosent have my kids.So Im scared that if I marry the girl Im with now and she also wants kids it will be bad for my 2 boys that I have now or shit if it dosent work with her and then I have kids with both women?????????/WTF advice please,I mean I see my boys almost ED so its not like they r never around but for some reason I feel like I have a missing void that needs to be filled when I see her and my kids like its calling me to get my family together,but then the girl Im with now-- I wouldnt know what to do wityhout her I mean she is great,just confused sorry to fukin ramble.



Thanks

[rock]

soda,

having the boys w/ the first girl is tough.......but the girl you are wtih now seems to be better for you.......if you tried to get back with your boyz momma, it'll probably never be the same...if you get back with her for your boyz sake.....you will eventually start fighting again and that is definitely not what you boyz need.....try with the new girl...if whe wants kids also, that will be great....eventually you could gain custody of "first" children........if the second girl is good with your kids and will be a good stepmom and mother of any new children....I would say go for it......but being unhappy with a woman will eventually reflect on your children.........children feed off of love...

[Shibby]

Having kids with both women will be hardest on you and your current girl. She will feel that her kid comes first even though she knows better than to express it. As far as your kids go, if they like your current girl then I think there young enough it will be all good. If it didn't work out with your current girl then that makes things extremely complex having two families. You will have to juggle your schedule around two women your not with. It's hard enough to juggle it when your with one woman. If you were to have a kid with your current girl then your ex would think you don't need to see your sons as much since you have started a new life and will really try to fuck with you since she's not a focus of your life anymore. Even if the only reason she is a focus now to be able to see your kids. My .02

[BigSoda]

thanks both of u,life wtf

[rock]

it gets to all of us sometimes

[Shibby]

Yep. there's no easy choice when kids are involved. It's hard when you know for sure that your love for somone and there love for you will never change. And one the only places that's a garantee is with kids.

[BIG C]

A women who has your kid knows she can f--k with your head
anytime she wants to. you have a bond and being a family makes
so much sense. I know this first hand and have eat alot of shit
to be with my kids. If it dont work it out at least you know you
gave it 100% to try and that is not failure.

[Shibby]

If it's possible I would go for primary custody. Then after that, see where things go with your girl.

[trip]

BigSoda,

Often times people know the answer and yet it is still hard to give up the dream.

You've said it, "she's bi-polar" or something. Have no idea if she is or isn't, yet, the foundation of any great relationship, marriage, and family is trust. And when a persons emotions and actions are always erractic, the trust is always being destroyed, then re-built, then destroyed, then re-built. this is not only emotionally draining, it is a wasteland because very little joy and growth comes form living in a constant state of erractic trust.

And yet the human spirit is so resilient it still wants to try and climb that mountain.

Hoped That Helped
Good Luck

[hitmansb]

Shibby....primary custody is damn hard for a father to get. You'd have to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that the mother is an incompetent parent.

[house1]

bro, dont get back together just for the kids. it will NEVER work.


if your happy with the girl your with then by all means stay with the one your with.

getting together for the sake of the kids is not fair for them .

your unhappiness will reflect upon them

[Shibby]

Oh I know being a child of divorced parents. And it's not about them being imcompetant but who is better at the time to give the children what they need. My dad got custody of me and my brother originally. But still, It may be worth it to him to try every thing he can to get them.

[hitmansb]

Hmmm...must be different in the US. I know that in Canada, the mother has to be a complete fuck-up to lose custody.

[Shibby]

Originally posted by hitmansb
Hmmm...must be different in the US. I know that in Canada, the mother has to be a complete fuck-up to lose custody.

Well he was an Air Force officer where my mom held of on her education.

[Gator_Mclusky]

Im still tryin to figure my ex out....we call her "The Black Widow"

Gator

[JUICE]

thats pretty hard man dealing with a girl like that .

[saturn]

That's a tough situation Soda.....If there were not kids involved it would be alot easier. You have to do what's right for your kids first. This doesn't mean getting back together with thier mother. You have to be happy in order to provide for your children and give the a good enviroment to live in. You do have to consider them when you find another woman. You need to make sure that the relationsip is right for them along with yourself.
Good luck. I hope all works out for you.

[urso8up]

Hey BigSoda
I know excactly what you are talking about and going throughI have been in your situation for 3 years married 3 and off one We split up for a year and in that year my soon to be ex came back atleast 20 times saying she wanted to work it out for our sons sack and we never faught it was just like you said Bipolar one day she wants me the next she hates me finaly i gave up and told her i can't do this and i am not going through with this anymore i told her she was tearing my heart up and my sons too. It is not good to do that with your kid. I say if your happy with te woman now stick with it because i also made that mistake by leaving a woman that was really starting to like me because my wife said she loved me and wanted me back. Well look at me now 6 months later and i am back in that same spot tomorrow we will be divorced and not have to worry about all that Bipolar crap.
I say try to take her to a doctor if she is Bipolar they had medication for that so she is straight all the time.

[Cory]

Good luck in whatever decision you make Soda....I wish i could help but I have no experience in this area. Do what's best for your happiness and the happiness of your boys!!