Difference Between Football up North and Down South

[Tinfish]

Football ~ Northern and Southern Style

Women's Accessories:
NORTH: Chap Stick in back pocket and a $20 bill in the front pocket.
SOUTH: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, waterproof mascara
and a fifth of bourbon. Money not necessary - that's what dates are for.


Stadium Size:
NORTH: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.
SOUTH: High school football stadiums hold 20,000 people.

Fathers:
NORTH: Expect their daughters to understand Sylvia Plath.
SOUTH: Expect their daughters to understand pass interference.

Campus Decor:
NORTH: Statues of founding fathers.
SOUTH: Statues of Heisman trophy winners.

Homecoming Queen:
NORTH: Also a physics major.
SOUTH: Also Miss America.

Heroes:
NORTH: Rudy Guiliani
SOUTH: Archie & Peyton Manning

Getting Tickets:
NORTH: 5 days before the game you walk into the ticket office
on campus and purchase tickets.
SOUTH: 5 months before the game you walk into the ticket office
on campus and put name on waiting list for tickets.

Regarding Friday Classes After a Thursday Night Game:
NORTH: Students and teachers not sure they're going to the game,
because they have classes on Friday.
SOUTH: Teachers cancel Friday classes because they don't want to
see the few hung over students that might actually make it to class.

Parking:
NORTH: An hour before game time, the University opens the campus
for game parking.
SOUTH: RVs sporting their school flags begin arriving on Wednesday
for the weekend festivities. The really faithful arrive on Tuesday.

Game Day:
NORTH: A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV.
SOUTH: Every student wakes up, has a beer for breakfast, and rushes
over to where ESPN is broadcasting "Game Day Live" to get on camera
and wave to the idiots up north who wonder why "Game Day Live"
is never broadcast from their campus.

Tailgating:
NORTH: Raw meat on a grill, beer with lime in it, listening to local
radio station with truck tailgate down.
SOUTH: 30-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires up at dawn. Cooking
accompanied by live performance by "Dave Matthews' Band,"
who come over during breaks and ask for a hit off bottle of bourbon.

Getting to the Stadium:
NORTH: You ask, "Where's the stadium?" When you find it, you
walk right in.
SOUTH: When you're near it, you'll hear it. On game day, it becomes
the state's third largest city.

Concessions:
NORTH: Drinks served in a paper cup, filled to the top with soda.
SOUTH: Drinks served in a plastic cup, with the home team's mascot
on it, filled less than half way with soda, to ensure enough room for
bourbon.

When National Anthem is Played:
NORTH: Stands are less than half full, and less than half of them
stand up.
SOUTH: 100,000 fans, all standing, sing along in perfect four-part
harmony

The Smell in the Air After the First Score:
NORTH: Nothing changes.
SOUTH: Fireworks, with a touch of bourbon.

Commentary (Male):
NORTH: "Nice play."
SOUTH: "Dammit, you slow sumbitch - tackle him and break his legs."

Commentary (Female):
NORTH: "My, this certainly is a violent sport."
SOUTH: "Dammit, you slow sumbitch - tackle him and break his legs

[hitmansb]

Great post, Tin

[JUICE]

lol

[woodard]

SOOOOOO True!

[speedracer59]

RRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLL TIIIIDE!!!!!!!

[Bdubb]

The part about the Highschool football stadiums sounds about right.

[Shibby]

I love this. It is soo true. But my dad came to visit me and my brother from cali when I was living in Texas to see one of my brothers HS games. His first thought was like this.

Stadium Size:
NORTH: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.
SOUTH: High school football stadiums hold 20,000 people.

[silentassasin]

i think ure a lil wrong dude, u never must been to Western PA. and stadium size does PENN ST or Mich. come to mind 110,000+ ppl..oh ya i guess u never been to a steeler game either or phil game where they got a judge in the freakin stadium

[Shibby]

Way to keep that sense of humor

[Tinfish]

Originally posted by Shibby
Way to keep that sense of humor

yeah. buzzkill

[Trojanmn2]

ehhh don't pay attention to silent, its so freaking true, people book hotels to stay the damn weekend an hour away from town because they arrive 3-4 hours early for a college game here and they think they're so tired of attending they rather just stay in town.....southerners..........

[gymrat]

very true.

[Venom X]

Heroes:
NORTH: Rudy Guiliani
SOUTH: Archie & Peyton Manning


DUDE!! You forgot ELI!!!! you gotta have the whole manning family in there!!

Otherwise you pretty much hit it on the head! lol
And yes i will be in the Oxford for the ole miss lsu game! yes its a 3 1/2 hour drive yes i will have to park 2-3 miles from the stadium. Yes there are already rv's there lol.

Hotty toddy beeyotch!!! gotta love southern football