What would you do in this situation??? - SuperiorMuscle.com

Gongshow · #1 01-07-04, 11:13 PM

Heres the situation...I have a friend, I would say he is my best friend, we grew up together, and have always been close. Well I met this girl through him....and me and her talk quite a bit....but just as friends, cause her and my best bud hooked up, and are now in a relationship.

Well me and this girl have always been good friends....she even asks me for advice about her relationship with my best bud and so forth.

Well a few nights ago Im talking to her, and I can tell something is obviously wrong...well I FINALLY get it out of her that she cheated on my best bud on new years. she was then sobbing...I really think she felt remorse, and she kept telling me "you cant tell him" and so on...and I promised her I wouldnt say anything.

so me and her talked about it, and I told her she has to tell him, its only fair and so on...so she said she would....

well, I talked to her a few days ago now...and she said she cant tell him now. She feels their relationship is going along to good now to stir the pot (it was kind of rough in the beginning I guess) So now she is saying she wont tell him.

Well heres the dilemma...
I promised her I wouldnt tell him, but now she wont tell him...so its like I feel obligated to tell my buddy since he is my best friend.
What would you all do in this situation???

I am leaning towards trying to forget it ever happened, and keep my mouth shut, but Im looking for other options, because it is bugging me...

thx

Gongshow

njjuicer · #2 01-07-04, 11:18 PM

hmm thats rough if i kenw my best friend new and never told me id break his fuckin face open but thats me bros before hoes

urso8up · #3 01-08-04, 05:42 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Gongshow
Heres the situation...I have a friend, I would say he is my best friend, we grew up together, and have always been close. Well I met this girl through him....and me and her talk quite a bit....but just as friends, cause her and my best bud hooked up, and are now in a relationship.

Well me and this girl have always been good friends....she even asks me for advice about her relationship with my best bud and so forth.

Well a few nights ago Im talking to her, and I can tell something is obviously wrong...well I FINALLY get it out of her that she cheated on my best bud on new years. she was then sobbing...I really think she felt remorse, and she kept telling me "you cant tell him" and so on...and I promised her I wouldnt say anything.

so me and her talked about it, and I told her she has to tell him, its only fair and so on...so she said she would....

well, I talked to her a few days ago now...and she said she cant tell him now. She feels their relationship is going along to good now to stir the pot (it was kind of rough in the beginning I guess) So now she is saying she wont tell him.

Well heres the dilemma...
I promised her I wouldnt tell him, but now she wont tell him...so its like I feel obligated to tell my buddy since he is my best friend.
What would you all do in this situation???

I am leaning towards trying to forget it ever happened, and keep my mouth shut, but Im looking for other options, because it is bugging me...

thx

Gongshow

You said she said th erelationship is going good. Well if she cheated then it can't be going that great.
If it was me and i Knew my best friends girl cheated I wouild give her A time line to tell him and if she doesn't then you need to tell him. If he finds out from someone else and then finds out that you knew It could ruin your friendship with him. Haven't you heard girls come and go but friends are forever.
So give her ample time to tell him and if not it is up to you to break the news. You could even offer to go with her to tell him if you are friends with both of them. Just my $0.02

cowgirl · #4 01-08-04, 07:19 AM

Tell her you will keep it secret if she let's you do her.

then tell him!

Joking aside, it's best not to get in the middle like you did because this is what happens. But if he were my best buddy I would tell him. The next time someone starts a statement with :

"don't tell anyone, but"
" can you keep a secret"
" I want to tell you something, but you have to promise not to repeat this"

say what I say "don't tell me because I WILL repeat it"

you don't know how many times I'e had to say it over & over to get them to SHUT UP!

Auriflex · #5 01-08-04, 08:40 AM

I like the first part of cowgirls suggestion. She's naughty.

urso8up · #6 01-08-04, 08:41 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Auriflex
I like the first part of cowgirls suggestion. She's naughty.

RebelAngel · #7 01-08-04, 08:48 AM

How's your friend feel about this chick???

My first instinct says "stay out of it!!!"

But then again... i'd want to know if i was him.

Tough spot yer in dude!

The_Jarhead · #8 01-08-04, 09:45 AM

Just tell if she doesn't tell him you will. That you can not continue to decive him.

**Shibby** · #9 01-08-04, 10:36 AM

You promised not to tell him, but she also said she would. She already broke her end of the deal so you have a right to break your end of the deal. Now how far did they go into this cheating. I mean I have been in this situation over a kiss. But I heard from my girlfriend who heard from my best bud's girlfriend, so it was even more complicated for me, and it was only a kiss.

BeastLt12 · #10 01-08-04, 02:00 PM

if my best friend ever found out i knew he'd be pissed at me. i wouldnt want that. so now you're already involved.
talk to her again and tell her that you cant hold it in anymore. tell her that if she doesnt break it to him you are going to have to. also tell her that you will help her tell him if she wants. be aware of her feelings, if she gets defensive back off. explain to her that if you tell him, you will also explain how terrible she feels and that you believe that they should remain together.
always be respectful and tell her you will do anything to help the relationship, but this is a secret that you shouldnt be forced to live with.
the hardest part is the communication. play by the rules, dont threaten.
yeah im long winded but you asked for it!!!!!

soprano9mm · #11 01-08-04, 02:03 PM

I would got ape-shit if my friend didnt tell me about something like this

mountainman · #12 01-08-04, 03:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by soprano9mm
I would got ape-shit if my friend didnt tell me about something like this

same here dewd

i personally have been in this situation and lemme tell you it sucks cause i was friends with them both b4 they got toegther and when he cheated on her i was at the same party when it happened after a couple days i told him that what he did was not cool and that if she ever asked me if i know anything about it i wasn `t gonna lie and i will tell her everything
well sure as shit a couple yrs later she asked and yeah i told her but what sucked is taht first he was pissed at me for telling her second she was pissed at me for not going to her and sayin something to her
so in the end i lost them both as friends
IMO
tell her that if she doesn`t say something by monday that you will tell him on tues give her 1 more chance to say something and if she doesn`t then budy id say you have to tell you budy what you know
it is a tough spot i know
good luck

psyko1 · #13 01-08-04, 03:49 PM

Dude, do you really gotta ask? Sooner or later he'll find out. THEN he'll find out that you knew. What'll you tell him then? Speaking from experience, just tell him. A real friend would. Stay cool.

psyko1 · #14 01-08-04, 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Shibby
You promised not to tell him, but she also said she would. She already broke her end of the deal so you have a right to break your end of the deal.

Fuck deals, he's your friend. Hoes come and go kid. They come and go.

**Shibby** · #15 01-08-04, 04:05 PM

All this bro's before ho's thing is fucking ignorant superficial talk. A friend is a friend wheather it's a man or woman. You should never have to choose between friends, but it happens. Also remeber though if it dosn't work out between them then you will kind of have to choose anyways. And low and behold sometime you get drunk with the guy you probably will say something about knowing if you havn't told him prevously. If she does tell him, then make sure she either says she confided in you and you conviced her it was best to tell him, or after he comes to you, tell him the same.

psyko1 · #16 01-08-04, 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Shibby
All this bro's before ho's thing is fucking ignorant superficial talk. A friend is a friend wheather it's a man or woman. You should never have to choose between friends, but it happens.

Bro, you're right, but he met her through him. I mean I really don't see how not telling him is even an option.

**Shibby** · #17 01-08-04, 04:20 PM

Your right, I read that wrong. I read it saying they were all friends and then those two hooked up.

space mountain · #18 01-08-04, 08:45 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by njjuicer
hmm thats rough if i kenw my best friend new and never told me id break his fuckin face open but thats me bros before hoes

thaT is prob the best thing you have said on every board u been on bro..

Gongshow · #19 01-08-04, 10:06 PM

I totally agree with all you guys....Bros before Hoes...and Im with you Shibby, she already broke her side of the deal by not telling him...and Id be pissed as hell if my best buddy knew, and didnt tell me...

I think Im gonna give her an ultimatum...tell him by sunday or something, otherwise I will

Thanks for the advice....

Murtle · #20 01-09-04, 12:53 AM

Gong,

Honestly, If the guy really cares about her, he might naught even believe you when you tell him. Honestly the best thing to do is the Ultimatum. Damn this is a shitty situation.