Baby mama drama - SuperiorMuscle.com

bjbabe · #1 05-05-04, 10:58 PM

I need help or advice? The guy that i am seeing has a baby with his ex. Untill recently it did not bother me until he cheat on me with her. I also know that she is very psyco and that if he goes out with someone else she will make my life miserable. He says that he wants to be with me, and i want to be with him also. But can i trust him. Everytime that he picks up his baby i wonder is he doing something with her? I really want to believe that he won't cheat on me again but to be honest. I still think that he has feelings for her, she is his baby's mom.

Can guys really change? You know what they say once a cheater always a cheater?

Or should i leave him alone, Don't get me wrong i really care a lot about him. But i am afraid to get hurt again?

psyko1 · #2 05-05-04, 11:37 PM

Primal Instinct · #3 05-05-04, 11:42 PM

Wow, tough call. Successful relationships are based upon trust. Without it, we are left with suspicion and so we compromise ourselves to regain that which we believe we have lost. Tell him exactly how you feel about the situation and if he really cares about your relationship, you both will find a way to overcome the awkwardness. Either way, you deserve to be told the truth and can make up your own mind about things from there. A love life in limbo is no way to live and be happy. Good luck

bjbabe · #4 05-06-04, 08:53 AM

I have tried telling him how i feel, but doesn't listen at times. I really want to be with him, but can i really count on him being there for me. Thats my main concern.

Timma · #5 05-06-04, 09:03 AM

Leave his ass. It ain't worth it then if he doesn't want to talk about it. And if he's got an easy piece of ass on the side then he's gonna keep going after it.

trip · #6 05-06-04, 09:11 AM

No one can predict the future so, you cannot have any guarantee's, that is why primalinstincts post is so right on and true, that is the best you can have, and if you don't well.....who knows

bad14u · #7 05-06-04, 09:18 AM

Sorry to hear about your dilemma BJ. I, having become a new father myself less than a month ago, can say that if he is spending time with her and the child, that some old feelings may be coming about. An obvious sign of that is that he has cheated on you already with her. You might want to take a break for awhile and let him sort things out. If he wants to be with you he will. If he thinks he can have you and have her, he will. If she is psycho, stay away from her. Women like that stir up drama. If he has cheated once, he will cheat again, Sorry.

psyko1 · #8 05-06-04, 01:34 PM

perhaps i was a bit hasty in answering above. i apologize. if you don't believe him then i say leave him, and move on with your life. obviously you don't feel any love or affection from him. if you don't now then that probably means that you never felt any love or affection from the beginning. why be with someone who you don't sense any emotional feelings from. you describing how you feel makes it sound like he doesn't love you, never has, and never will. does he see her everyday? how often does he go to her place to pick up his kid? do you know how long he's actually there for? her being his baby's mom has nothing to do with it, i mean i'm sure you know people with children that don't have sex with each other, we all do. how old is the kid? i mean you do realize that they HAVE to see each other till the kid's 18 right? depending on the child's age that could be a long time. are you willing to go through that? again i say leave him, you don't need the aggravation, or her psychoticness. and from your statement about cheaters, do you feel that's true? if so then you're saying people can't change. ALL PEOPLE can't change. then you're implying that what all people do in the past will happen again. that's not saying much for people now is it?

Puddles · #9 05-06-04, 04:15 PM

If you love him and you believe that he really loves you, then you can try to stick it out but keep in mind what his past is and try to keep yourself guarded for a while.

He can love you and the baby's mother, which is probably what's going on right now. He will need to make a decision though, it's not fair to string both of you along.

If you're going to try to stick it out, try to get him to be honest with you. If you start getting feelings that he is lying, chances are you're right.

Some people don't want commitment or a permanent situation. What was his past relationship with the mother like? Did they just see eachother for a short while and she got pregnant or did they have a serious relationship together? If it was serious, why did they split up? How long have you been seeing him?

bjbabe · #10 05-06-04, 05:43 PM

I have been with him off and on for four years now. I know that he loves me and that if i needed him i know that i can count on him to be there. But i want him there not when its convient for him or when he has time. I know that we can make things work and we can be happy but can he tell her about me with out going psyco on him. They say that people can change and i know that he can with the love that he says that he feels for me. I know that love is the strength to make things work.

We have been trough lots of ups and downs, it hasn't been an easy realtionship, But let me tell you that i really don't see myself without him. nor can i ever let him go from my life. He really means the world to me. I just hope that he still despite having her in his life, still will always be faithful to me. To be honest i guess that i am just afraid of the past and what has happen then what could happen between us in the next future.

JUICE · #11 05-06-04, 11:48 PM

leave the dude alone and dont talk to him. Most probably he's still messing with her. I say this cause my buds have kids and they still see thier girls, have little feeling towards them and all. If i was talking to a girl with a kid and the father of the baby was still around i'd let her go. I couldnt take that, couldnt trust at all. But do what ur heart feels like doing. But be careful with the girl.