Explain this to me please.

[Megiddo]

I have been very curious as to why the following phenomenon exists. I have yet to find an answer.

Today I went to the gym and it was essentially dykeorama. Seeing the lesbians in the gym reinspired me to seek out why a feminine woman would choose to go out with a chick that, well, looks like a dude. Now my theory on homosexuality is like this: if a person is homosexual then they are attracted to a person of the same sex thus meaning that if they are female, then they would be attracted to what makes a female, a female. I talking about soft skin, gentle touches, nice her, etc. Same with guys, if you are gay then you would be attracted toa guy that's, well a guy.

So why is it that a woman or man can be homosexual, yet date a member of the same sex who looks like a member of the opposite sex? WTF?

[TheStromba]

Great Question. I doubt that there have been any actual studies on this, one can only speculate.

Almost all relationships have one person that is more dominant in certain areas. This may be the attraction, not necessarly the "butch" look.

It would be interesting to see if butch lesbians have naturally higher test levels than most women. That would explain it some as well.

[GROWTIME]

I have a friend that's lesbian and she can't stand the sight of the one-eyed monster so I'm guessing lesbians are turned off by it and that's why the butch one's are favorable (looks like a man but they don't have a sausage).

[Timma]

I have always wondered this myself. Someone if you have an answer please post it up.

[cowgirl]

Just because a woman likes pussy better than peter, doesn't mean she does not have a personal prefrence in regards to her partners personality & her personal style.

That's like saying a strait guy is strange for liking a athletic little waif of a girl that is flat chested & wears her hair short, and wears jeans or gym attire rather than a dress!

Everything in this world doesn't fit into a neat little box.

[buccaneer19]

Originally posted by cowgirl
Just because a woman likes pussy better than peter, doesn't mean she does not have a personal prefrence in regards to her partners personality & her personal style.

That's like saying a strait guy is strange for liking a athletic little waif of a girl that is flat chested & wears her hair short, and wears jeans or gym attire rather than a dress!

Everything in this world doesn't fit into a neat little box.

good point

[hlcn8]

perhaps there are circumstances from some of these womens past that leaves them unable to trust men. i know several gay women who were raped and abused as children by men. something that effects the psyche as profoundly as that, might make them not want to be with men...

...besides, ugly torn-sleeve flannel wearing women need lovin too : )

[Puddles]

It's just a matter of personal prefference like Cowgirl said.

Just like some straight girls like either the tough-guy or the pretty boy look, lesbians are no different, they have varrying tastes too.

I'm bi and am attracted to very feminine girls, but there have been a few slightly butchy ones that peeked my curiosity a bit.

[JuicedBeachBum]

not all big women are dykes...

[cowgirl]

nice 'tar bum!

[pierced one]

Originally posted by cowgirl
Just because a woman likes pussy better than peter, doesn't mean she does not have a personal prefrence in regards to her partners personality & her personal style.

That's like saying a strait guy is strange for liking a athletic little waif of a girl that is flat chested & wears her hair short, and wears jeans or gym attire rather than a dress!

Everything in this world doesn't fit into a neat little box.

that is probably the best way that could have been said. you made me realize how that works.

[Timber]

Personal choices and taste is an individual thing, why does 1 person lie Red and another like Blue. The question has no answer

[pecster]

Megiddo, intriquing question and interesting that no (known or self-stated) lesbian or gay man responded. I am gay and can say that your reasoning seems simple enough -- af first. Now, this will be very simplistic, so don't all you philosophers and anthropologists ream me for it. All humans are ruled by their sexual attractions, whatever they may be. That's what's kept us going as a species. And, by and large, humans today seem to be let themselves be led *visually*. I guess that's the way it's supposed to be -- you see something you like and you go for it. No problem there.

But as a couple of people here have mentioned, there's more to it than that. I'm sure we've all seen couples together (straight or gay) and you think, "what is he (or she) doing with that girl (or guy)? Physically they might not be your liking, but you can't possibly know the other factors that let them be together. They could have a great sense of humor, they could be the same religious or political bent. Their daily routines and mundane habits could mesh flawlessly. Their ideas of child-rearing are the same -- any number of reasons.

If a lesbian finds a woman attractive that's not the "Playboy" magazine or "Sports Illustrated" ideal of feminine beauty, her opinion of what *is* attractive is still valid. Megiddo, your supposition that the gay or lesbian dynamic is as simple as liking your own kind is a bit unfinished. That is only the starting point. Some lesbians *do* like the petite, more traditionally feminine type -- but socialogically, there's a whole lot more going on behind the scenes. Same with gay men. Not every gay male finds a bodybuilder attractive (in fact, a lot don't seem to at all). But that doesn't mean that these guys go for a complete flamer, either! I dare say that many of you know a gay person and you have no idea that they are gay. Legally, we're no longer required to wear dresses, wear make up, mince around delightfully or otherwise give any obvious visual clue as to our sexual leanings. Ah, life in the 21st century.

And, let me hasten to add, these proclivities aren't choices, no matter what a religion or a political regime will try to force you to believe. We're made that way, just like all you straight people were. It comes down to something just that simple: when this subject comes up (which it does with a steady frequency), and someone accuses me of *choosing* to be "that way", I have to grin and ask them this question: "Were YOU given the choice of which sex you would prefer?" Of course, the answer must be "no". And then I ask them why do they think I was given that extraordinary priviliege? I'm not extraordinary in any way -- I wasn't born into a rich or powerful family, nor did I win some great cosmic lottery. I didn't just wake up one morning and think, "Oh, boy! I think I'd like to plow some guy's butt today!" It was part of me from my first thoughts, just like all you heterosexuals.

And, if you're still with me here (and many apologies for the length here - man, that's the first time I ever said THAT!), I have to say how great it is to see so many replies and comments about gays and lesbians without anyone resorting to name calling and homophobia. Maybe there *is* hope for the world, after all.

[bodybuilder6949]

very articulate Pecster.......nice to see an occassional sign of intelligence.

[day004]

You gotta remember that what floats a persons boat is a pretty personal thing.The range of what is "normal" is HUGE.I have a great friend who is a Fem lesbian. And yes she does love to look at and even screw pretty young things but when she looks for a partner she always ends up with a Butch... Its that ying yang thing. Its funny , I live in the bay area and worked in SF for 15 years and the similarities in gay/les coupling to straight are numerous.

[cowgirl]

Originally posted by pecster
so don't all you philosophers and anthropologists ream me for it.

ream

good choice of words

[Megiddo]

Originally Posted by pecster

Megiddo, intriquing question and interesting that no (known or self-stated) lesbian or gay man responded. I am gay and can say that your reasoning seems simple enough -- af first. Now, this will be very simplistic, so don't all you philosophers and anthropologists ream me for it. All humans are ruled by their sexual attractions, whatever they may be. That's what's kept us going as a species. And, by and large, humans today seem to be let themselves be led *visually*. I guess that's the way it's supposed to be -- you see something you like and you go for it. No problem there.

But as a couple of people here have mentioned, there's more to it than that. I'm sure we've all seen couples together (straight or gay) and you think, "what is he (or she) doing with that girl (or guy)? Physically they might not be your liking, but you can't possibly know the other factors that let them be together. They could have a great sense of humor, they could be the same religious or political bent. Their daily routines and mundane habits could mesh flawlessly. Their ideas of child-rearing are the same -- any number of reasons.

If a lesbian finds a woman attractive that's not the "Playboy" magazine or "Sports Illustrated" ideal of feminine beauty, her opinion of what *is* attractive is still valid. Megiddo, your supposition that the gay or lesbian dynamic is as simple as liking your own kind is a bit unfinished. That is only the starting point. Some lesbians *do* like the petite, more traditionally feminine type -- but socialogically, there's a whole lot more going on behind the scenes. Same with gay men. Not every gay male finds a bodybuilder attractive (in fact, a lot don't seem to at all). But that doesn't mean that these guys go for a complete flamer, either! I dare say that many of you know a gay person and you have no idea that they are gay. Legally, we're no longer required to wear dresses, wear make up, mince around delightfully or otherwise give any obvious visual clue as to our sexual leanings. Ah, life in the 21st century.

And, let me hasten to add, these proclivities aren't choices, no matter what a religion or a political regime will try to force you to believe. We're made that way, just like all you straight people were. It comes down to something just that simple: when this subject comes up (which it does with a steady frequency), and someone accuses me of *choosing* to be "that way", I have to grin and ask them this question: "Were YOU given the choice of which sex you would prefer?" Of course, the answer must be "no". And then I ask them why do they think I was given that extraordinary priviliege? I'm not extraordinary in any way -- I wasn't born into a rich or powerful family, nor did I win some great cosmic lottery. I didn't just wake up one morning and think, "Oh, boy! I think I'd like to plow some guy's butt today!" It was part of me from my first thoughts, just like all you heterosexuals.

And, if you're still with me here (and many apologies for the length here - man, that's the first time I ever said THAT!), I have to say how great it is to see so many replies and comments about gays and lesbians without anyone resorting to name calling and homophobia. Maybe there *is* hope for the world, after all.

Damn I forgot about this post.

You make a good point and I understand that everything doesn't fit into a box. The reason I asked this question was a rememberance of when I lived in Pensacola and I happened on two instances of my aforementioned post. I was working in a sports store and the city had just gotten its Women's Football team so I had a lot of women coming in looking for gear (football padding you ironheads). I was helping this one chick who approaching her from behind I thought she wasa dude and whn she turned around I still thought she was a dude. I helped her out with what she needed talked some football with her, which was fucking trippy, and then her girlfriend walked up. This chick was fucking hot and that is why I started wondering about this. Here is a drop dead hottie dating a woman who looked like a lighter version of me with a bowl cut. Now I could understand the tomboy's point becasue her girl was gorgeous but I just could not understand the rational that if she is attracted to women, why go out with a woman who looks and acts, at least for the fifteen minutes I talked to her, like a dude? I just had trouble trying figure that out. Same thing with drag queens. I can understand a if a dude wants to be a woman but I would think that if you are gay, you would be attracted to a man, not a dude with tits. If you have to get some backdoor action, just get a kinky girl and a strap-on.

I guess the question will never really be answered for me.

[dreamgirl]

this was funny... made me laugh at some of the responses


Im attracted to really feminine women... and very manly men...

[INTIMID8OR]

damn ..wheres shibby at when i need him ....