performance issues

[ponygirl]

Okay- can't even believe I'm asking this but............I'm in a new relationship and I haven't encountered this problem before. My new guy has a problem uh- maintaining an erection. It isn't getting it up that's the problem but say if we change positions or something then he well.... starts to fade and I have to.....jump start it by jacking him-sorry couldn't think of a nicer way to put that. He's self-concious about his size, which I think is silly because he's perfectly normal- if not a little on the thick side. But I think maybe some girl dissed him in the past. Is this just new relationship nervousness? Any serious suggestions would be appreciated.

[GreekTank]

O.K. I could help. Just to get an idea of where I am standing could you post a pic of yourself, and we'll go from there.

[Severedties]

Originally posted by GreekTank
O.K. I could help. Just to get an idea of where I am standing could you post a pic of yourself, and we'll go from there.

Dude... shes looking for help. Thats a worthless comment.

[GreekTank]

Originally posted by Severedties
Dude... shes looking for help. Thats a worthless comment.

So why don't you help bro, instead of insulting me!

[Puddles]

Severedties is right. Greek, everyone appreciates humor, but ponygirl did ask for serious replies. If you have a good suggestion, then by all means, post it, otherwise, behave yourself!

Ponygirl, some men go through this at times and it's really nothing to do with you. Most of the time it's a mental or emotional issue and once he figures it out, things will fall into place. In the meantime, just be supportive and go ahead and stroke him to a full erection or take him into your mouth from time to time to change things up a bit. Find out if he has any fantasies or fetishes you can participte in to help keep his libido strong.

He can also get a prescription for cialis which would probably help pretty good. Viagra is another alternative, but it's stronger and since he's getting an erection but it's just going down periodically, cialis would be my first choice.

[buccaneer19]

damn puddles you really know how to fix the lovelifes

[Mr incredible]

PG,

I personally think its new relationship nervousness, even I got like that before, it just takes a while to get there in the head sometimes. I wouldn't get too hooked on any particular "do this to him, do that to him" type of suggestion. I think its just gonna take a little time to get relaxed with each other and then things will get steamy quickley.

[GreekTank]

Originally posted by Puddles
Severedties is right. Greek, everyone appreciates humor, but ponygirl did ask for serious replies. If you have a good suggestion, then by all means, post it, otherwise, behave yourself!

Ponygirl, some men go through this at times and it's really nothing to do with you. Most of the time it's a mental or emotional issue and once he figures it out, things will fall into place. In the meantime, just be supportive and go ahead and stroke him to a full erection or take him into your mouth from time to time to change things up a bit. Find out if he has any fantasies or fetishes you can participte in to help keep his libido strong.

He can also get a prescription for cialis which would probably help pretty good. Viagra is another alternative, but it's stronger and since he's getting an erection but it's just going down periodically, cialis would be my first choice.

Ya I know, Just trying to have some fun. O.k. I can help since I am a Greek man and my blood boils by nature. Can you give us more info on your boyfriend, ie. age, e.t.c. then we can have a better idea of his overall health, does he work out? is he coming off a cycle? this is something that can affect it.

[ponygirl]

Thanks everyone for your suggestions- but I have another question. I've never heard of cialis? is it prescription only? and what exactly does it do??

My guy is just turning 34. he's in good shape but not super cut-he works in a steel mill. He's the most gentle guy I've ever met. We kind of got into each other quick and he's really open so we've kind of talked about the problem and he says it's him overthinking because he hasn't ever felt about anyone the way he feels about me and since he wants everything to be perfect he's stressing himself out i.e. by worrying about it he's causing it to happen. I almost think he might be afraid of doing something wrong that will cause me to split because I told him initially I wasn't really looking to get into a relationship as I had been burned a few too many times. He was in the Navy and was engaged, when he got off the ship after a year his fiancee and ditched him for one of his friends after she smoked his credit cards and that's the last serious relationship he was in.

He's AWESOME at everything else so this is just a little frustrating. I truly appreciate everyone taking the time to respond, particularly Puddles as you've responded to some of my other posts about training questions and been really helpful.

[Stonecold54]

unless he has something physically wrong with him which probably isn't it. its probably 100% mental. I can always tell when my mind is bogged down because the same thing happens to me even if I am on test. Communication communication communication. there isn't enough of it in the world but its the best help.

[Puddles]

Sounds like he's nervous about being serious with you but that's also what he wants. Being intimate with someone you care about can make it stressful. I would imagine Cialis would help in a situation like this until his nerves calm down...or you could just wait it out, things like this will usually work themselves out if given enouth time. Yes, cialis is a prescription drug he can get from his regular doctor. It will help his hardon be firmer and less likely to go down. After he orgasms though, he will be able to get it up again so be ready for another round.

It's fantastic to see that you two can talk to one another about these things. As he learns to trust you things can only get better.

[bad14u]

Originally posted by ponygirl
he says it's him overthinking because he hasn't ever felt about anyone the way he feels about me and since he wants everything to be perfect he's stressing himself out i.e. by worrying about it he's causing it to happen. .

He's AWESOME at everything else so this is just a little frustrating.

There is your answer right there! He is worrying himself limp! Some guys can't help but want to be able to rock it like a porn star, and the more he thinks about his problem the more likely it will happen! Just keep reassuring him that he is good at what he is doing and if you want, you can tell him to try different techniques or different rhythyms! Help build his confidence back up and he will be ok! And make sure that soldier doesn't come out of his hole!

[BIKER_GIXXER]

Originally posted by stonecold54
unless he has something physically wrong with him which probably isn't it. its probably 100% mental. I can always tell when my mind is bogged down because the same thing happens to me even if I am on test.

Totally agree. Or maybe just a lack of confidence.

[ponygirl]

Thanks guys, I think I'll give it a little time and see if the problem clears up. I've been thinking this over though and have realized it hasn't happened the couple of times he has woke me up in the morning and we have sex only when he comes by at night- weird.

[bad14u]

Originally posted by ponygirl
Thanks guys, I think I'll give it a little time and see if the problem clears up. I've been thinking this over though and have realized it hasn't happened the couple of times he has woke me up in the morning and we have sex only when he comes by at night- weird.

Nothing harder than morning wood!

[Shibby]

Originally posted by ponygirl
Thanks guys, I think I'll give it a little time and see if the problem clears up. I've been thinking this over though and have realized it hasn't happened the couple of times he has woke me up in the morning and we have sex only when he comes by at night- weird.

I have had the same problem. If he has to get up early, has a strenuious day ect. by the time the evening comes he would like to relax. Like in my case I get up early, workout, go to school and then come home. It wasn't that I didn't want to, it was more that it took a little extra work to get started and I would tire out quick. But in the morning after laying next to her all night and fully rested, we have had 30+ min sessions.

[GreekTank]

Originally posted by Shibby
I have had the same problem. If he has to get up early, has a strenuious day ect. by the time the evening comes he would like to relax. Like in my case I get up early, workout, go to school and then come home. It wasn't that I didn't want to, it was more that it took a little extra work to get started and I would tire out quick. But in the morning after laying next to her all night and fully rested, we have had 30+ min sessions.

I agree morning wood is the best. Testosterone is elevated in the morning and then gradually falls. If someone is working a heavy job all day all this stress takes down on the testosterone He can get his Test levels checked & go from there. It dosen't sound like he has a problem though. This sounds like an anxiety problem in the relationship. Time will tell how things will be dealt with!

[KingEgo]

try placebo effect, like give him a pill of aspirin or something tell him its cialis and see what happend. it should work.