What should I do? - SuperiorMuscle.com

JUICE · #2 08-25-05, 05:09 AM

i dont know what to say bro. Im in a similar situation at the moment withmy girl from 3 1/2 years. I dont have anyone else besides her.

For me, it all depends on the situation you are in. Like how things are and stuff. Why not try to work it out with her and see how it goes. If you say you love her, give it time bro.

I know how u feel in the part of not being able to be single. I have one day off away from my girl and its killing me bad.

Karde · #3 08-25-05, 07:03 AM

It sounds like your future is really in the city though, I don't know what you studied or what your career will be, but i think if you don't go to the city, you may resent her for the rest of your life for standing in the way of your goals and dreams.

twizzbeats · #4 08-25-05, 08:12 AM

cut :hmmm:

bad14u · #5 08-25-05, 08:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by twizzbeats

that's the problem I really did resent her for not moving with me. I manage a small advertising company in a small city by the town we lived in, but I would rather be back in my city. She just can't let go of her family. She is addopted and really close to her Mom, she felt rejected when she was born. Her Mom is a real bitch too and if you don't like what she says she bashes you.

I'm no Dr. Phil, but I would say you need to put things that happened in the past, in the past. If you keep letting things that happened in the past get in the way, you are moving backwards and not forwards. Dump the gf and make amends with the wife, IMO. I would say that both of you need to seek counseling to help with the issues of her family and you with the city life. The 2 of you should both be able to compromise and find a happy median.

twizzbeats · #6 08-25-05, 10:48 AM

cut cut :thumbsdow

tiny pinder · #7 08-25-05, 11:31 PM

if it was me id tell the wife about city thing and it is a big deal, and that you moved to the country for her, now its time to returen the favour, if she is stubborn and wont even compromise you should try counselling then if still no budgeing either accept youre now a country boy or make the move to city and start fresh, but the new gf dont even factor that in they come and go,and maybe explain why you find her family difficult to deal with and try and work out some ways to minimise that problem.
anyways good luck just dont run off with the new girl cause its new and exciting, you will get bored very quickly.

Puddles · #8 08-26-05, 06:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by twizzbeats

My wife also know about my as use now and she knows I have had sex with my new gf. I feel so bad. IS there any women on here that can give me advice. I am pretty sure my wife wouldn't forgive me for sleeping with someone else.

Most women have a hard time getting over the fact that their man's been with someone else, however, you two were seperated so it's not like you snuck around and cheated on her so forgiveness should be easier. She's the only one who can asnwer that though.

I wonder though how close the two of you are when she can't be with you, her husband, instead of being with her family. It seems like if you stay with her you will have to live by her family and that's that. IMO that's just her being insecure. If my husband wanted to pack up and go to another country I'd do it in a heartbeat, he is my best friend, the love of my life, my family and friends will still be here to visit but my husband is who I want to be with every day. I think if a woman can't make that commitment willingly then she's just not ready for marriage.

I don't know what to say about the new g/f other than if you make the decision not to stay with your wife, try to take things more slowly with the new girl.

**Shibby** · #9 08-26-05, 06:56 AM

Alot of good thing to think about have already been said. But I'm with Puddles on being commited to your partner. As of right now I am dying to get out of this small town and back to a real city. But I am going to follow my girlfriend anywhere her scholorship takes her, next year. The most important thing for me is to help her follow her dreams and live my dream of having a perfect love and raise our son. I will continue my degree, but I don't have a problem with doing that anywhere. It's important, but not my primary goal.

twizzbeats · #10 08-26-05, 08:06 AM

cut cut :thumbsdow

bad14u · #11 08-26-05, 08:15 AM

Best of luck with whatever you decide. Sounds like her mom has too much control over her. I guess you have to decide whether or not you love her enough to go through the rest of your life being unhappy and if it will be worth it.

Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. The heart will heal itself but first it must let go.

Karde · #12 08-27-05, 06:05 AM

From everything you said, I think you should get out. Keep those happy memories, they will help you make good relationship decisions in the future. You will always love her, love the memory of her, but you will find somebody better suited to you and your needs and find real happiness and cohesivness.

Your wife should be your lover, your friend and your teammate. I sounds as if she has been seriously failing in some of those aspects.

Honeynut · #13 08-27-05, 07:05 AM

Women's perspectives may differ, but here's mine:
A girl under such a controlling mother is never going to have a chance to really be herself, really enjoy her relationship free of guilt, unless she has a chance to feel what life is like when she has the power to make her own choices.
Her mother is not going to be around for the rest of her life - her partner is supposed to be that person. How far exactly is the country from the city? Have you guys considered a trial period with an alternate arrangement, such as weekends in the city with you while she spends the weeks at home with her family? She can try that for a while and see how much she misses you and your life together when you are separated... Actually, a better option might be weeks in the city with you, weekends that both of you go back to the country to visit her family together. A free long-distance calling plan helps a lot too, so long as you never give her a hard time about how much time she spends on the phone with her mom.
Another thing that seems to be holding you back is the fact that you don't seem to be standing up to her mother. Often, a controlling bitch only respects someone who doesn't want to take their shit. You can't play tug-of-war with your wife in the middle, however, so you need to be very sure that she is on your side.
Bottom line, if you don't get her away from her mother, she's not going to be able to understand that it's possible to be both a wife and a daughter at the same time.

twizzbeats · #14 08-30-05, 08:48 AM

f$$$^ it :laughnew:

rvgfrth4g · #15 08-30-05, 03:58 PM

Honestly, I think if ya'll got back ya'll would have more than the normal problems to work out seems how you slept with somone after the break up. Now if you slept with somone when ya'll were just starting out dating or before getting married then thats easier to forgive. But after being married 3 yrs and jumping back in the game and sleeping with somone else, then she'll never forget about that. She'll also be more insecure if you got back with her.