What's the one thing you miss because your married?

[dreamgirl]

Hi, I just wondered if I was the only one thinking like this. I really miss that excitement of meeting someone out and lightly messing around. Not full blown intercourse, but you know... Is this a general consensous? Or am I alone on this?

[JUICE]

im not married yet but i do wanna get married soon with my girl. Its just something new I want to be with someone.

[Tinfish]

The thing i miss the most because i am married is having the entire bed to myself. I have always been a light sleeper and i wake up so many times through the night because the wifey is bumps me or something. Being single and having the bed to myself is something i miss.

[The_Jarhead]

I really can't think of anything I miss about being single.
But then again my wife and I have a very strong and open relationship where if we have wants and needs we discuss them and sometimes try them out.

[batteryreqd]

Yeah, I kinda do in a way. Was fun fooling around with different women. I certainly had my fun when I was single that is for sure. Some was just teasing each other all the way up to going all out if we got to worked up...lol.

[jipped genes]

i miss not being owned and controlled and ordered to clean the toilet with my own toothbrush or my wife gets mad and ties me up in a closet.

or i miss dating. its a tossup

[edvedr]

I MISS NOTHING

[dreamgirl]

Originally posted by FitnessBrat
Do you like the 'newness' of it, the attention, or just the fooling around part?

I think that I used to get a big power trip being able to just walk up to the chosen one for that night and his reaction to me and the sexual energy. It's like nothing that I get now. It's that feeling of being wanted, a pure sexual attraction. I am very attracted to my husband it's just he doesn't act like that at all anymore, he says that he feels that way... that's what I miss

does that make any sense?

[Morgan]

Originally posted by dreamgirl
Hi, I just wondered if I was the only one thinking like this. I really miss that excitement of meeting someone out and lightly messing around. Not full blown intercourse, but you know... Is this a general consensous? Or am I alone on this?

What I miss most is the "discovery" of the other person; their likes, dislikes, how they kiss, touch. I don't know for myself whether I could separate the physical from the mental, both are very powerful attractions, put together they can be a REAL problem for those who want to remain faithful to someone.

Not at all unusual, most times it seems that you and the other person for a little while only focus on each other, to the exclusion of everything else around you. Being the center of someone's universe is extremely sensual; both physically and mentally.

[dreamgirl]

morgan you make a great case!

[dreamgirl]

Originally posted by Keiser
You miss passion....

Now that I think about it, you are 100% right. It's kind of sad, but I don't have any passion in my relationship... there are so many times that we are sitting watching tv and I think to myself, "why doesn't he kiss me, why doesn't he come over here and jump me right now?" maybe I'll talk to him about it. It's really been bothering me lately.

[Morgan]

Originally posted by dreamgirl
morgan you make a great case!

I will have to go and do this now as well (the go out and "discover" different women) not sure it's as fun as it sounds.

From past experiences, it can be very difficult to take a step back and think about what kind of situation you might be getting yourself into; I believe most times went things get out of hand it's from loneliness or boredom.

[goliath]

Originally posted by dreamgirl
Now that I think about it, you are 100% right. It's kind of sad, but I don't have any passion in my relationship... there are so many times that we are sitting watching tv and I think to myself, "why doesn't he kiss me, why doesn't he come over here and jump me right now?" maybe I'll talk to him about it. It's really been bothering me lately.

talk is cheap. fuck his brains out.

[dreamgirl]

Originally posted by goliath
talk is cheap. fuck his brains out.

my problem is, I'm always the one to start sex... he NEVER is. That's why I feel like this. -DG

[Morgan]

Originally posted by dreamgirl
Now that I think about it, you are 100% right. It's kind of sad, but I don't have any passion in my relationship... there are so many times that we are sitting watching tv and I think to myself, "why doesn't he kiss me, why doesn't he come over here and jump me right now?" maybe I'll talk to him about it. It's really been bothering me lately.

Definitely talk to him. Passion is a sometimes difficult concept, I was always accused of not being spontaneous enough, that the times I was with my wife were to "planned" and not natural enough. Can be very, very difficult if both of you are working, have bills, house, blah blah. Pretty sure that your husband would jump you in a heartbeat if you gave him a few small signals in the right direction. Most guys I know, (myself included) need some heavy duty visual and perhaps physical clues at times to know when to proceed.

That may take some of the spontaneity and passion out of it on your part, but practice makes perfect and I'm sure he'd catch on pretty quick.

[batteryreqd]

Originally posted by dreamgirl
my problem is, I'm always the one to start sex... he NEVER is. That's why I feel like this. -DG

Do something different. My wife always intitiates it as well. I thought my hormones were strong...lol. But she will wear something new and sexy that really gets my attention, or wears some really awesome sexy scent that I know is coming from someplace I love to go down too....mix it up and keep him guessing. Thats what does it for me. The same nitegown and the same routine gets old and expected. Making any sense?

[dreamgirl]

thanks for the advice morgan and keiser. I'll try and talk to him, I think actually I bring it up a lot... I think that a lot of times everyone is tired or it's our daughter who won't stop getting out of bed at night... I just really notice it.

[edvedr]

no you do need to talk to him, he might not realize that he is making you feel like this. he could just be comfortable which makes us forget to do those small little important things. ALWAYS TALK ABOUT THINGS NO MATTER WHAT!!!

[The_Jarhead]

You say you are always the one who initiates sex.
Here is something to try.
Make him be the one to do it. Tease him slightly a little kissing and heavy breathing on the ear as you walk by during day-to-day things. Or even while you’re out doing things like shopping and such. When the kids aren’t around walk around in less clothes that you normally would. Find and old shirt and cut in to a half shirt that is just a bit too short and put that on while you are watching TV. Do these things and then don’t be the one to start sex. It may take few days but soon he will as you said just jump you right there.

If it doesn’t work fast enough I’m sure some of us on here can give you some ideas of thing that will drive him mad.

Another thing you can do to get that new feeling back is Roll playing. Get a baby sitter for the night and go out to a bar or nightclub. Don’t go in together. Pick each other up as if you have never met. It is kind of awkward at first but you can really have fun with it if you allow yourselves to.

[dreamgirl]

great ideas, i already walk around in see through tops and bikinis all the time and short skirts, that's normally what I wear... i'll let you all know how it works

[Morgan]

Originally posted by dreamgirl
thanks for the advice morgan and keiser. I'll try and talk to him, I think actually I bring it up a lot... I think that a lot of times everyone is tired or it's our daughter who won't stop getting out of bed at night... I just really notice it.

Was like this in my house for years. Always something. You absolutely must make as much time for each other as best as possible. And don't stop trying.

Kids can take every last minute of your time and you can't let them. It won't make for bad parenting and you shouldn't feel guilty about making time for yourselves. The_Jarhead's post is great, you can accomplish a lot with a little non-verbal communication as well.

Hang in there

[batteryreqd]

Kids will be the biggest obstacle in any relationship...it will test you, but as long as you communicate you can make it. They are only in your house for a short period of time in your life...18 years doesn't seem short...but it goes much quicker than you think!!! lol

[trip]

Don't know for sure, sounds simple enough,

seems like you need a certain amount of VALIDATION, ie, recognition, of course the positive type of who you are, and you need and desire this on somewhat of a consitent basis.

It's kind of like metabolism everyone has a certain set point.

Me personally don't need alot of attention, yet, dammit, better get my share or ain't happy camper.

The stuff you talk about, when meeting someone new, most of time there attention is totally on you and yes it is very energizing.

Never ever forget to return the favors in kind, which sure you do.

Good Luck

[JUICE]

Originally posted by dreamgirl
my problem is, I'm always the one to start sex... he NEVER is. That's why I feel like this. -DG

talk to him one night about it, I was sorta like that with my girl, she was the one that would always attack me and now......hmmm im the animal of the couple. I just attck her more often and she told me thats the way she like me. Im like cool

[dreamgirl]

i talked to him and he said that he is totally attracted to me and he said that he is always worried he would come off too strong, so he said when he gets back in town, he'll jump me. hopefully it will be very passionate!

[Auriflex]

I miss the sex part.