How to get out of FRIEND ZONE?

[wnabeabeast]

I started this because I didn't wanna jack Slayers thread. :nerdnew:
So here it goes. I am sure almost every one had this issue at some point in their life.
I have this friend that I care about alot. We've been friends for five years and been through thick and thin together. We both have daughters are exact same age,we are both divorced and whole bunch of other stuff that I can write all thay about.
Lately we are spending lots and lots of time together and it has been amazing she just waaay to cool and funny and of course smart :nerdnew:
I have to get to work now but when I come back I'll write some more so go head guys start the brain storm.
Sorry for the cliffhanger.

[Shibby]

I'll repost this here:

To get out of the friend zone can be very difficult. No one wants to loose a good friend they can talk to and confide in. Espeacially if you are the only one she really goes to when she needs someone to talk to. But pretty much you can't be subtle about your feelings. You will need to tell her straight out. Tell her how you feel right now and see what she thinks. Don't lay it on strong or in way that makes you sound in love, but do be honest. Once you do, if she dosn't feel the same, you will have to be extra carefull not to act in any way that can be taken as flirtacious(sp) for a while. If you are fine with still being just friends. If she does want to see what's there you should take the realtionship very slow. If you go to fast it will freak her out and make her feel confused. Confused, if the feelings she is having is just the closeness of friends or enjoying how things are developing. She would back out affraid that the emotional swing will be to strong and she will loose someone she needs in her life more than a relatonship.

[wnabeabeast]

OK I am back.
As of now things are in cruise control. I have a birtday coming up in couple weeks and I allready made some plans to go out of town with her( we are taking the girls with us also.)so I don't wanna say anything yet. I figured I'll wait till we are away in the hotel and maybe have the talk over a bottle of wine.
But in the mean time,there is nothing wrong with getting some good advice from some friends so I can have my game plan
But than again no body knows what will happen untill we get there. :hmmm:

[Shibby]

The thing about doing it while you are out of town is if things get real wierd or it completely backfires, your stuck in an akward sitution. Just something to consider.

[wnabeabeast]

I thought about that too. So I'll just play it by ear. I don't wanna ruin a what could be a great fun weekend.

[slayer of souls]

A few things to consider:

How important is your friendship, and how could my purposed actions affect it?

Shibby gave some great info, and I fully agree. You don’t want to go in to eager otherwise that may just overwhelm her, and it sounds like you are looking for a mature relationship so take things slow.

During the your weekend ignite some of her senses and create a romantic ambience and through that judge her reactions. The key is to be discreet, as you obviously know, you don’t want to make drastic moves as it could completely jeopardized a well built friendship.

Make small gestures to show your romantic interest in her, before saying anything concrete. You don’t want to take her by surprise because that will just endanger your friendship.

The most important thing to do is to pay attention to detail, monitor her body language throughout the trip and through that you will be able to gauge the situation more accurately.

Good luck bro, I really do hope things work out well for the two of you.

[wnabeabeast]

OK an update. It's 12:30am PT. After the rugby game( This was part of the weekend plan,and I don't play rugby.) I was hanging out with the guys,this was around 6pm.She knew I was going to be with them. But... she calls me anyways to say hi and to ask how the game was and blah,blah,blah...by the way they lost by 70pts. That's right 70pts. And than she asks me if I want to do dinner and maybe a drink with her later. So of course I said yes. To make to long story short we had a great time again. I didn't mention anything about my feelings but I made couple of jokes about the up coming trip and sleeping situation and some other stuff. She just laughed at it and said no to my suggestions.
About 3hrs later I took her back to her place at the door she gave me a very friendly hugh and...I left. Got back in my car,got home and started to type this.
So this is what I realized: Who the fuck am I kidding,she will never look at me anything more than a friend,nothing more. I might as well be one of the girls. She'll go out and date some asshole so she can tell me,how misserable she is and how badly this guy is treating her and the other bullshit that comes with it.
I don't know guys at this point I might just have to burry the feelings and have her in my life as a friend.
FUCK.
I blew off my bike ride in the morning so I can spend the evening with her that is worst the part. OK may be it's not the worst part but it is pretty bad.

[slayer of souls]

I don’t agree, although the likelihood of something happening between the two of you is diminishing, I would like to think that there is still a possibility.

The jokes were a good move, it sucks that she did not at least respond playfully.

Don’t repress your feelings bro, that won’t solve anything.

The friendship between the two of you seems like something deep and meaningful maybe in the future she will realize that. Don’t let this get you down, you still have a great weekend away planned with her and make the most of it. Consider yourself lucky to have found someone as special as her.

[wnabeabeast]

^^^
Thanks bro well said.

[Shibby]

I agree with slayer. With my ex I was best friends with her for 3 years. Then she dated this guy for like 7 months and things got bad. I was there for her and stuff, then it just kind of happened. She saw that I was someone who could give her what she wanted and make her happy. Granted I was in my Senior year of high school when we got together (but so many of the feelings and situation are the same), but it lasted almost 4 years. We just grew apart instead of together as we got older.

[wnabeabeast]

OK guys. I just dug this thred out because,this is it we are leaving this afternoon. wish me luck.
And HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

[fog_hat1981]

Originally Posted by wnabeabeast

OK guys. I just dug this thred out because,this is it we are leaving this afternoon. wish me luck.

Best of luck bro...

Originally Posted by wnabeabeast

And HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

Happy Birthday too....

Damn FitnessBrat falling down on the job again ......

[lxorl]

good luck... enjoy the trip.... just because it might not happen this month, dont rule it out down the line... sometimes it takes a long time to realize things.

[malibu barbie]

Happy Birthday and good luck! Slayer and Shibby gave you some good advice.

[slayer of souls]

Happy birthday bro!

Let us know how your weekend goes!

[ROCKILLER]

Good luck man. I hope things work out good. If you read this, focus on having a good time and dont stress. Give us an update when you get back.

[wnabeabeast]

UP DATE!!!
This should be an entertainting read enjoy it people. :nerdnew:
I am exhausted!!! This did not go to way I was hoping. But it wasn't that bad at all.
First. This is no lie since last thursday night I drove 1000 miles. My daughter lives in San Diego.150 miles south of LA. So last thursday after work I went to pick her up,I left LA at 8 pm and I was back home before 1 am. 300 miles round trip.
Friday we left for Pizmo beach. 180 miles north of LA.
Sunday we left Pizmo beach at 10 am. Took our time driving back so we were back in LA by 2 pm. I dropped my friend and her daughter at her house and took off for San Diego. From Pizmo to SD 330 miles.
Dropped my daughter at her mom's house and drove back to LA non stop 150 miles.
TOTAL DISTANCE DRIVEN: 960 miles plus driving around town between hotel and restaurants.
What hell was I thinking people? All we did for two days was the chasing two five year old girls around. They were none stop. When we are at eachothers house they are fine,because they play in their room. But for some reason at this trip they became monsters.
We didn't have a minute quite time to spend with eachother. We need a vacation from this vacation.
We both realized that we are done with having any more kids. I know u guys are going to ask,how about the time after kids went to sleep? Well FUCKING kids put us to sleep before they went to sleep. I know all this sounds xtreme,and believe me we both have kids that behaves great most of the time. I guess this time they were just being kids.
Central coast of California is known for their wines,so I bought a bottle red wine,thought that we can relax and enjoy. Didn't even get the open the fucking bottle.
Oh well! Could have been worst. I don't know how but... :hmmm:


By the way,this explains best.



^ ^
kids. me.

[ROCKILLER]

Sounds like a busy weekend. At least your on the same page as far as kids go. When youre done recuperating how about some details. did you stay at a hotel in pismo?

The more I think about this I dont cant see a woman wanting to spend so much time with a guy and do family type things and not have any feelings for him. But then again, you can never tell what women are going to think.

[slayer of souls]

That is just too cute.

It looks like a perfect magazine cover family.

Wow.

[wnabeabeast]

Originally Posted by ROCKILLER

Sounds like a busy weekend. At least your on the same page as far as kids go. When youre done recuperating how about some details. did you stay at a hotel in pismo?

The more I think about this I dont cant see a woman wanting to spend so much time with a guy and do family type things and not have any feelings for him. But then again, you can never tell what women are going to think.

Yep we stayed at a Resort that is part of my Time Share ownership.
There is not much else to say. Weather was great,beach was beautiful,we had some decent food,we decided opt for kid friendly restaurants. Plus after all,me and her always get along great,so if you look at the big picture we had fun,kids didn't fight and we all made home safe.
Unfortunatelly I didn't take that many picture cause I busted my digital camera on the way up there,but here couple pictures from my car.

[Shibby]

Don't you know how to add text to a picture instead of trying to scribble it with the mouse?

[wnabeabeast]

Originally Posted by Shibby

Don't you know how to add text to a picture instead of trying to scribble it with the mouse?

Shibster this one is for u. Happy?

[Shibby]

Much better

[wnabeabeast]

Originally Posted by Shibby

Much better

YOU WISH!!! :laughnew:
Hey no abusing the Mod powers.