So, I normally stay out of this sub-forum...

[NewbieChris]

Yes, this post is about sex...I'm being pretty open about this, so please don't make too much fun of me.







but I have a question and I'm not asking my buddies about this. I just got out of a somewhat long term relationship, roughly 2 years, and I have finally decided to go on a date with this girl. Now, here are some qualifiers for later. I come from a rather conservative home, and thus I've decided that vaginal intercourse is going to wait till the 'true' long term. Now, that doesn't mean I don't believe in giving and getting other fun treats.

The problem...This girl has, in no uncertain terms, make it clear she will most likely fellatio me on a first date. I feel so dirty even thinking about letting her do it. Is it a bad idea? Don't you think its just like...too much for a first date. Only hang up being...its been a little while.

[YellowJacket]

A chick who says she'll blow you on a first date, is a chick you dont want to call the next day.

[Timma]

He's right. Any time i've ever dated if the girl wants to put out something within the first date, she's not a keeper. I've always waited till I know she ain't no slut.

[dna9488]

Originally Posted by YellowJacket

A chick who says she'll blow you on a first date, is a chick you dont want to call the next day.

YJ hit the nail on the head with this



If a girl doesn't respect herself, how will she respect you???

Some girls are also out there to 'play' guys. She will use you for all you have and than dump you like a $5 whore on the corner of Broadway and 5th


You just got to be careful and talk to her, if you feel like she wants to have sex on the 1st date..........DUMP HER

If she is wearing slutty clothes, heavy make-up, and showing too much skin..........DUMP HER........finding a genuine 'good' girl is out there, you just got to look. Its good that your conservative, and your not into the WHAM BAM THANK YOU MA'AM on the 1st date

[NewbieChris]

Well, she never explicitly said it. Its just we've known each other long enough that I know she will, she has liked me for a while. What she sees, I'll never konw. Problem is I am having the moral dilema of not having had any nookie in 2 months and not wanting to be a whore myself and take advantage of this situation. All my brothers would say I'm being a pussy and to just do it and drop her off at home...but i just feel dirty doing that. Is that a better way of explaining the situation? I'm not even sure I see a real long term thing coming out of this date...but we're friends and I said yes because my mind was in the gutter at the time.

[ROCKILLER]

It all comes down to what you want. The other guys are right and while I would have no problem dating a girl like that, I would never really respect her or trust her deep down. And I would let her know that it was never going to be a permanent thing. I have in the past and some girls are cool with that. As for your situation and knowing the girl, you sound like youre going out with her because you feel bad that she likes you. If youre honest about your intentions with her, why not let her blow you?

[Shibby]

You used the word fellatio for what a new adventure my do, instead of getting head or getting blown. That in itself tells you what you feel about respect versus something slightly degrading. To me it sounds like there is a level of personal emotion that you take pride in when involved in intimate acts. All I can say is try to never sacrifice yourself for any excpierence, but don't be apposed to personal growth and change. As you get older you will notice that the pleasures in life isn't simply about what type of person you are, it's also about getting to know more of who you are and what really makes you happy. Don't let your culture decide what it means to be happy but don't be radical with your own life.

[THE BOUNCER]

we are definitely different people chris. lol. i would be more like your brothers and say you are a pussy.

have you explored how you really feel about men? because anyone that uses the word "fellatio" is slightly gay in my eyes.

[NewbieChris]

I'm probably going to 'bitch out'. But hey, at least I'll get to eat a meal out for once!

[dna9488]

Originally Posted by NewbieChris

I'm probably going to 'bitch out'. But hey, at least I'll get to eat a meal out for once!

ya man, do what u think feels right.

[The_Grinder]

I've always done what I felt is right no matter what my buddies said. Personally, if a girl wanted to blow me on the first date, I'd let her. But I'd be damned before I'd ever get in a relationship with her. But if you don't want to do it then don't. Hell, I am engaged at 21 years old. I get shit about that all the time from my buddies. But I am in love with her and I know I want to be with her so I don't give two fucks what they say. Looking at your post, I can tell you already know whether or not you WANT to do it or not, so just go with what you feel bro.

[FrankTheTank55]

Just because a girl puts out on the first date doesnt always mean she is a whore. Now if she fucks you and all your buddies I might worry. I say chill out and go have a good time with her if something happens its cool if not who cares. Just be clear with her on what you are looking for. Good luck man.

[Nekrawulf]

You've already said that you have known each other for quite some time...

that completely negates any "whore" concept in my eyes...

just see what happens.

[alwaysgrowing]

Originally Posted by NewbieChris

I'm probably going to 'bitch out'. But hey, at least I'll get to eat a meal out for once!

in more ways than one if you want

[THE BOUNCER]

Originally Posted by alwaysgrowing

in more ways than one if you want

he doesn't do those kind of things though.

[NewbieChris]

Oh, last night was fun. For the most part whenever I talked to this girl over the past months it was at one of our parties when she was waisted...or at a football game when she was waisted. She's not different sober. It was like talking to a brick wall, no worse. A brick wall would have just said nothing, her responses were on par with I don't even know.

Fun.

[THE BOUNCER]

Originally Posted by NewbieChris

Oh, last night was fun. For the most part whenever I talked to this girl over the past months it was at one of our parties when she was waisted...or at a football game when she was waisted. She's not different sober. It was like talking to a brick wall, no worse. A brick wall would have just said nothing, her responses were on par with I don't even know.

Fun.

who cares, no need to talk to her. i would have said one thing and one thing only. "how about i take you home and i stick my tongue in your ass?"

[JUICE]

Originally Posted by YellowJacket

A chick who says she'll blow you on a first date, is a chick you dont want to call the next day.

i agree with you 100 percent on this one. Had a chick do that a few months ago and that showed me enough that shes most likely done it before many times.



Hey Chris, just date women bro, theres too many girls out there. Since you say you feel weird about this, just date for now and dont take things serious unless you find someone that interests you.

[Mr incredible]

sounds to me like a couple of things bother you; one is you have known her for a long time and the other is she sucks other guys on the first date.

Look at it as therapy to get you back on track

[OhHannah]

Well, I see a couple different issues going on here. The one that raises the biggest red flags for me is the heavy alcohol use. There's nothing wrong with partying, but if you can't or won't relate to people socially without being drunk, that says there is a problem.

My background is Pagan and poly; that's the community I was raised in, and we have a whole different attitude about sex. If it's all safe and consensual between adults, it's okay to share pleasures with your trusted friends as long as everyone is completely honest about what the expectations are. We don't have a puritanical attitude about sex and we definitely do not think it is right to call a woman a whore if she wants to share pleasure with people she likes and trusts.

Sex simply doesn't need to have negative, nasty connotations. It certainly can be an act of love and commitment that you reserve only for one special person, but it is also okay if two friends want to share for fun and they both understand this. If you condemn or demean someone who makes different choices about their sexuality, that says a hell of a lot more about your level of maturity and self confidence than anyone else's.

Now if she is polygamous by nature and you are mongamous by nature, you need to communicate clearly on what your expectations are if you are interested in a relationship. If you have concerns about her health status, it is absolutely appropriate to discuss those and to ask for mutual STD testing before becoming intimate.

In this situation, given what you've said about the constant partying and drining, I'm not sure I'd be so quick to say that this particular woman is one who is always making good or healthy choices about who she shares pleasure with. But the only way you're going to find out is to ask her. Tell her honestly what your personal morals and standards are for sharing intimacy - WITHOUT implying that they are the only true way to do things and everyone who does not agree is a whore, a slut or an evil sinner. Playing preacher in bed is really no fun for anyone unless you are both very, very kinky. Ask what her morals and standards are - again without judging if they are different from yours. Find out if you can negotiate and compromise sufficiently for both of you to feel comfortable being intimate together, if you have different expectations about what sexual intimacy should imply. Don't assume that you're both automatically on the same page, because that's how freakouts happen when you find out that your expectations of what things "mean" are totally different.

[caged]

slam bamm,thank you-mamm.
make sure you slap 1 on too!

[alwaysgrowing]

i prefer the

find em
feel em
fuckem
forget emmmmm

[dna9488]

Originally Posted by alwaysgrowing

i prefer the

find em
feel em
fuckem
forget emmmmm

HOLY FUCKIN SHIT................

DUDE, my dad says somethin very similar to that (no joke)......

[caged]

Originally Posted by alwaysgrowing