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#1
12-20-03, 09:33 PM
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Masturbation Synonyms
The World's Funniest Collection of
Masturbation Synonyms -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- For women: Applying nail polish remover Auditioning the finger puppets Brushing your afro Buttering your bagel Checking for squirrels Checking the foxhole Checking the oil Checking the status of the I/O port Cleaning my fur coat Coaxing the genie out of the magic lamp Defrosting the freezer Dialing the rotary phone Diggin' the stench trench Digging for my keys Doing my nails Doing something for my chapped lips Doing the two-finger slot rumba Double-clicking your mouse Draining the tuna Drilling for oil Dusting the endtable Feeding the bearded clam Filling the pink taco Filling your niche Finding yourself Fingering something out Finishing the job Fishing for cumpliments Fishing for mackerel Flipping the light switch repeatedly Flossing the cat Fluffing the kitty Gagging my meat hole Gagging the clam Getting a lube job Getting a stain out of my carpet Getting a stinky pinky Getting the last pickle out of the jar Getting to know Sticky Fingers the mobster Going deep sea diving Going to and from the Batcave Hand tossing the tuna salad Having ladyfingers and cream Hitchhiking South Indoor fishing Jilling off JocelynEldering Makin' waves for the man-in-the-boat Making your own gravy Menage a moi Mistressbate Muffin buffin' Nail polish remover Nursing a hatchet wound Opening the bottom drawer Paddling the pink canoe Parting the Red Sea Petting the kitty Playing the clitar Playing the slots Polishing the wedding ring Preheating the oven Priming the pump Reading braille Reading the map of Tazmania Riding the unicycle Riding your own mule down Grand Canyon Romancing thy own Rubbin Hood Rubbin' the nubbin Scraping the cheese off the taco Searching for Ms. "G" Shebopping Shucking the fresh water clam Slapping Susie Slapping the mackerel Sliding into home Soaking in Palmolive Spanking your puppy on the nose Spearing the bearded clam Spelunking in the mystery cave Stirring the soup Strumming the big open C Surfing the web Swimming in the Pu-Tang River Taking a dip in the lake Teasing the little man in the canoe Testing the waters The magical disappearing finger trick The ole feel n' squeal Tickling the kitty Tiptoe through the TwoLips Tossing the pink salad Twinkling the little star Two-finger taco tango Unclogging the drain Visiting Niagra Falls Visiting your safety deposit box Wading in the Bermuda Triangle Washing your fingers Whipping your cream Working out at the Y -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- for Men: A date with Mrs. Palmer and her 5 slut daughters Auditioning the hand puppet Badgering the witness Beating the fuck out of your best friend Beating the shit out of your incapacitated midget Beating the snot outta Rotney Beating the snotty end of my fuck stick Blueball baseball Calling down for more Mayo Calling in the National Guard to assist you in a strategic crisis Caping the crusader Cheating on your other hand Checking the plumbing Choking the bald guy 'til he pukes Choking the sheriff and waiting for the posse to come Cleaning the walls after an accident involving the Milk Man and the Cyclops Committing mass spermicide Decongesting the weasel Discharging the heat-seeking moisture missile Dripping white-hot coconuts from the veiny palm tree of lust Dropping the kids off at the pool Escorting the one-eyed postal worker out of his denim cell Evicting the testicular squatters Firing the presidential staff Fishing for zipper trout Five-finger discount Flogging your dumber brother Foreplay with Fistina Four-knuckle shuffle (for those who lost a finger in 'Nam) Freeing the hostages Freeing Willy Getting your palm red Givin' the one-eyed field mouse with the purple turtle-neck sweater a hot-butter nuggie Giving the pink Mustang a spit shine Giving the seamen shore leave Giving yourself a helping hand Giving yourself a low five Having a play date with your little friend Having a puppet show in your pants Having a staff meeting Hitchhiking under the Big Top Launching the morning missile Letting out the bulimic one-eyed monster Making special sauce with frank and beans Making the bald guy cry Making the Cyclops do chin-ups 'til he throws up Making the llama spit Manhandling your man-handle Milking the bull Million sperm march My sex life! (Okay, that one's more sad than funny) One-handed workout Opening up a bottle of Squirt Performing diagnostics on your ManTool Playing pocket polo with Agent Johnson Playing the stand-up organ Playing with Yoosef Polishing the family jewels Polishing the hot rod Polishing the purple people pleaser Practicing for the Big Game Pulling the single serving soup dispenser Rapid one arm pull-ups Releasing the Olympic Doves Riding the Great White Knuckler Romancing the bone Roughing the passer Roughing up the suspect Rubbing the Buddha for good luck Running in single-user mode Running off a batch by hand Sanding the obelisk Sending yourself a hand-job-o-gram Shaking hands with your wife's best friend Shaking the coconut milk of love from the leafless palm trunk Shaking the hand of the self-employed Shooting tadpoles at the moon Shooting the pump action porridge gun Slapping the big-nosed Rasta man Spackling the ceiling Spending some quality time with yourself Spilling my children on my belly Spit-polishing the purple helmet Squeezing the cream from the flesh Twinkie Stroking the one-eyed burping gecko Swinging the purple-veined kidney stabber Taking little Elvis to Graceland Taking the Jocelyn Elders Midterm Taking your turn at the self-serve pump Target practice with the yogurt gun Teasing the purple-headed custard chucker Tenderizing the tube steak Test-firing the meat missile Testing the hand cream dispenser Trolling for the one-eyed walleye Tube sock tango Warming up the altar boy's dinner White-water wristing Wrapping my hand around my cock and blowing a load all over my mother Zygote spraying 
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#2
12-20-03, 10:06 PM
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Re: Masturbation Synonyms
Quote:
good post though, heh heh
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#3
12-21-03, 08:23 AM
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I just say: "Time to do the knuckle shuffle on my piss pump" LOL I know close to one that is up there, but hell had to throw that in. Funny thread. PEACE! KIR
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