major help needed here!! - SuperiorMuscle.com

space mountain · #1 01-26-04, 07:17 PM

ok ladies here goes ...my wife is 34 she justhad her other ovary taken out and now she has none. our marriage right now is a 9 out of a 10 ...the only prob is our sex lives .she never gets in the mood anymore...if we have sex i bring it up.. she had this operation in nov03. she dont were the hormone patch either because she heard it would make her gain weight!!! any suggestions on what i can do ?? it wasnt a prob at first but is getting to be one ! thanks

space mountain · #2 01-27-04, 04:47 PM

ok no advice?? come on

**redsquirrel** · #3 01-27-04, 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by space mountain
ok ladies here goes ...my wife is 34 she justhad her other ovary taken out and now she has none. our marriage right now is a 9 out of a 10 ...the only prob is our sex lives .she never gets in the mood anymore...if we have sex i bring it up.. she had this operation in nov03. she dont were the hormone patch either because she heard it would make her gain weight!!! any suggestions on what i can do ?? it wasnt a prob at first but is getting to be one ! thanks

Well, this is a toughie. You have to realize her body is completely out of whack and you have to give it time to readjust or adjust to it's new hormonal makeup. What hormone patch are you referring to?? The B/C patch?

There is nothing really you can do except be extremely patient. She pretty much just lost all of her womanhood, and reproductive capabilities. As well as serious physical changes, there are MAJOR emotional changes she is going through...And, believe me, sex is just not on the top of her list right now. You are going to have to give her all your love and support, and stop thinking about yourself with this particular issue. I know it's difficult, and you may feel some sort of rejection. But don't. This is not about you.

Puddles · #4 01-27-04, 05:16 PM

I wish I knew about how ovary removal affects the sex drive but I don't. Try searching on Google and if you come up with something, post it here so we can all learn about it.

How was your sex life before her surgery? Are you just having a problem with her not initiating sex or is she saying no to it alltogether?

Puddles · #5 01-27-04, 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by redsquirrel
I know it's difficult, and you may feel some sort of rejection. But don't. This is not about you.

Her lack of interest is definitely not because of him. But...if she's physically capable, she should try to make the effort to make him happy and she will probably enjoy it in the long run. Just like doing the laundry or cleaning the house...I don't do these things because I enjoy them but in the end I feel better that they're done because my husband has clean clothes and a nice home to come home to. Like doing an exercise that we don't like, in the end we like the result. Having sex with your partner, even if you're not initially in the mood, should not be something impossible to accomplish, especially when you know how happy it makes them.

**redsquirrel** · #6 01-27-04, 05:50 PM

True, she should put forth some type of effort. However, she more than likely knows he wants some sex or what have you. I think it's very possible she may look at sex right now as a negative experience. I'm sure she totally wants to make him happy. But, you know how the saying goes " If you don't love yourself, you can't love someone else." I think she may be going through something like this. She's totally lost her womanhood, so I think she needs to deal with her own personal demons before she can try to cater to his needs.

space mountain · #7 01-27-04, 07:15 PM

mrs p do u remember the other problem i pm u about??? how much of that could be a factor?

Puddles · #8 01-28-04, 09:03 AM

If she refuses HRT which the doctor prescribed to help with that problem I don't know what to tell ya. The weight gain could be managed by watching her diet more carefully and doing a little more cardio.

space mountain · #9 01-28-04, 09:32 AM

i dont know if she is so much refusing it or just embarassed

Puddles · #10 01-28-04, 11:29 AM

Embarrassed? Talk to her! This is nothing to be embarrassed about!

Check out the link in the thread below about Avlimil. You can get a free one month supply. I ordered some and although I haven't taken it daily like you're supposed to, I have noticed a little increase in my sex drive. My natural lubrication also seems a bit more than usual. It's all natural with no hormones. Just order it yourself for your wife because I don't want to hear that she's embarrassed again and won't get it! It comes in the mail in a non-descript package.

http://www.superiormuscle.com/vbulle...848#post143848

Puddles · #11 01-28-04, 05:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by fitness-girl
Embarassed?! There is no reason for her to be embarassed, this isn't an uncommon thing! My 21 year old girl friend has been on HRT for almost a year now but she has been dealing w/problems since puberty.
I think you and your wife REALLY need to sit down w/the doc. so you both can seek counceling for these problems, her doc should be able to help because there are thousands of other women that feel/felt just like she does and it will help her understand and not feel so alone.

There are probably even some support groups and message boards online if she wants to start talking about things annonomously.