Do you masterbate even when married?

[believer]

I was wondering how many of you have a partner who uses sex as a weapon?
My wife will frequently withold sex if I did something to upset her or if I didn't do something she thought I should do. So, I take matters into my own hands and take care of myself. However, this makes me think 'why did I even get married'? I could have looked at pictures of nude women and jerked off just as easily as a single man as I could a married man. I'm not saying I got married just for sex, there are many reasons I married my girl, but sex is one of them (and at times, it's no better).
We've been married since 1989 and most of those years have been happy ones but this trend has gotten to me lately and I was wondering how many of you are experiencing the same.

[Notorious]

masterbation does the body good man. its part of are everyday lives.

[ronmolina]

I have had three wifes all three played that game with me.

[Aurora]

I think that the women who do that, do it because THEY have nothing to lose. Its something to think about anyway.

[houseman]

I would sit her ass down and have it out.

Either party doing that is simply wrong. However, I know with myself and if I get annoyed at my girl or angry (very rare with anger) the chances of it happening that night is highly unlikely. I just don't forget as easily as some do.

Good luck!

A

[urso8up]

THey withhold it because they can and they know you want it. So they are in control.

[Morgan]

Been doing that for the last 10 years, was married for 20, sorry to say. Although I took my vows seriously (better of worse, yadda, yadda, blah ,blah), and am now getting divorced, if I EVER come across a woman who uses her body as a weapon she gets the door, no ifs, ands, or buts.

There is absolutely no reason anyone should do this, man or woman, to another person.

This doesn't or shouldn't include the occasional spat, but from your post it looks as though this is the way she controls the relationship. IMHO, this is about the worst way to to get someone to capitulate, and will lead to a huge amount of resentment on your part.

Definitely sit down and talk, this type of behavior leads to very serious problems in a marriage, and will not get better as the years go on. Do not let this slide, and it would be a good idea to start looking into counseling.

Best of luck to you.

[believer]

Thanks for the replies thus far...What I'm talking about isn't about getting shut out one particular night because I messed up, but more of a controlling situation like Morgan alluded to. Resentment? Yes, it's there and starting to grow. After this most recent episode I brought it out into the open and at least we're discussing it but I have so many instances of it happening sometimes I don't know where to begin.
She admits to it and agrees it is childish behavior but has admitted other things she does are childish, too, and has had much difficulty (and little success) changing them.

[Tinfish]

Women are like kitchen tile.

You lay em right the first time, you can walk all over them for the rest of your life.


;) totally kidding. i respect my wife and her decisions to not give me the poonani .

:D

[hitmansb]

Tell her that if she doesn't shape up, you're gonna have to look at the women who flirt with you at work/gym/ect a little more closely. Let her know that while you respect the vows, she is putting you in a situation where it becomes more and more difficult to honor them.

[Morgan]

Originally posted by believer
Thanks for the replies thus far...What I'm talking about isn't about getting shut out one particular night because I messed up, but more of a controlling situation like Morgan alluded to. Resentment? Yes, it's there and starting to grow. After this most recent episode I brought it out into the open and at least we're discussing it but I have so many instances of it happening sometimes I don't know where to begin.
She admits to it and agrees it is childish behavior but has admitted other things she does are childish, too, and has had much difficulty (and little success) changing them.

A good start for you, and if you are committed to the marriage, don't give up. Best advice for now is that you have a dialog going, keep working on the positive aspects of that communication. If at all possible, look at this as a good beginning and try not to hold any grudges, it will keep you from going forward. You can succeed if you both work together.

[BIKER_GIXXER]

Originally posted by hitmansb
Tell her that if she doesn't shape up, you're gonna have to look at the women who flirt with you at work/gym/ect a little more closely. Let her know that while you respect the vows, she is putting you in a situation where it becomes more and more difficult to honor them.

I agree 100%. Now that it's out in the open, she needs to know that if she keeps it up, you 'will' get it else where. It's one thing for her to 'not be in the mood' because your in a 'spat' with her, but to use it as a weapon....hell no! If it were my wife, I would come out and tell her that I'm NOT going to put up with it, period.

[skoowat]

are you 100% sure she's withholding sex purely as a weapon against you? because i can tell you - when there is anger between me and my man - i cannot get physically intimate. for me, and i suspect for many women, sex and affection and emotional openness go hand in hand. if there are unresolved emotoinal issues between you, she may not feel very erotic. in fact she may feel a need to pull back and preserve her boundaries.

[jipped genes]

i just masturbate in front of my wife and say shit like damn thats so good you may be obsolete. dont do this because i had to wait a month before getting it again

[jipped genes]

and yes after 12 years of being with the same woman i still beat my meat often