Jokes Anyone???

[Lexi]

Two elderly gentlemen, who had been without sex for
several years, decided they needed to visit a
cat-house for some tail..... When they arrived, the
madam took one look at them and decided she wasn't
going to waste any of her girls on these two old men.

So she used "blow-up" dolls instead. She put the dolls
in each man's room and left them to their business.
After the two men were finished, they started for home
and got to talking. The first man said, "I think the
girl I had was dead. She never moved, talked or even
groaned... how was it for you?"

The second man replied, "I think mine was a witch."

The first man asked, "How's that?"

"Well," said the second man, "when I nibbled on her
breast.....she farted and flew out the window!"

:rofl:

[bad14u]

Originally posted by Demski
A woman walks into a Lexus dealership. She browses around, then spots the perfect car and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the fine leather upholstry, a loud fart escapes her. Very embarresed, she looks around to nervously to see if anyone noticed her little accident and hopes a salesperson doesn't pop up right now. But as she turns back, there standing next to her is a salesman. " Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?" Very uncomfortably, she asks, "Sir whats the price of this lovely vehicle?" He answers, "Madame, I'm very sorry to say that if you farted just touching it.......your gonna shit when you hear the price!"

That was a great one!!!:rofl:

[bad14u]

Two elderly men were sitting on the front porch of their assisted living home and were reflecting their lives and loves!!! Fred was telling George how he slept with so many different women that he had a hard time remembering all of them!!! George turned to Fred and told him that he had married his high school sweetheart and never been with any other woman!!! Fred asked "You never tried to get any pussy on the side while you were married?" George looks at him in disbelief and says "Nope, never did! Hell, I didn't even know they had moved IT!!!"

[Trojanmn2]

okay okay I'll try making a better joke.......
What do you call 2 mexicans playing basketball?









Juan and Juan.




::readies for a bashing::

[Lexi]

LOL omg haha

[bad14u]

Originally posted by Trojanmn2
okay okay I'll try making a better joke.......
What do you call 2 mexicans playing basketball?









Juan and Juan.




::readies for a bashing::

Juan ON Juan!!!

[bad14u]

Mexican jokes....cool!!! Here's some for you!!!



Q: What were the 2 Mexican FireFighting Brother's names?
A: Hose A and Hose B


Q: Why did the Mexican Spy bug the enemy's Toilets?
A: So he could monitor every movement..

Why did the Mexican become so excited?
He discovered he could use Right Guard under his left arm...

[bad14u]

A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"

[bad14u]

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?" The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry." Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?" He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."

[bad14u]

A man phoned his doctor late at night saying his wife appeared to have appendicitis. "That's impossible," the physician replied, peeved at being woken up. "She had an appendectomy last year. Dont be stupid. Only a moron would wake me up for something this idiotic. Have you ever seen anybody with a second appendix?" "No, asshole!!!", the husband replied. "Have you ever seen anybody with a second wife?

[bad14u]

Q. What do a gynaecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common? A. They can both smell it, but can't eat it.

[Trojanmn2]

BUAHAHAHAHAHHA funny as hell, especially the honeymoon one.

[Gary]

Peter's sitting in a coffee shop, staring at a gorgeous blonde wearing the tightest pants he's ever seen...

Finally, his curiosity gets the best of him, so he walks over and asks, "How do you get into those pants?"

The young lady looks him over and replies, "Well, you could start by buying me dinner."

[bad14u]

Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine, into your brain, and that's where you get shitty ideas from!!!

[bad14u]

The other day I was having sex with my girlfriend when she said to me "Darling could you put it in the other hole for a change? I really like it there." To which I replied "Fuck that!!! I'm not risking getting you pregnant"