Solving the 3-some complexities

[melo]

my boyfriend and i have been together for 2 years. During and before this time period, I gained an interest in girls. So I guess bisexual is the best way to describe me. Over this summer I had to leave town for an interturenship, so my boyfriend and I decided to have an open relationship. Both of us decided to take advantage of the opportunity and have each been with one other person (neither of us are terribly experienced so we thought an open relationship would bring fun and experience to our own relationship). He chose to take advantage of our open relationship with our roommate. My feelings on his choice are both good and bad. She is really cute and likes to have fun, and is totally the kind of girl I'd be attracted to (she plays video games woot!). Unfortunately, she is ALWAYS in the picture. My boyfriend and I have yet to really have any alone time together. While I was gone, the two of them developed a good friendship, so she hangs out with us a lot. To make things worse she doesnt really have a lot of friends so I'm worried about her becoming attached to him and I.

So now for the juicy stuff. We have all messed around together. I don't let them have sex though. Even though they can have sex when I'm not there- I don't want them to have it when I'm not.

The trust and strength of mine and my boyfriends relationship is GREAT. I'm just having a hard time with the closeness of their relationship and how far I should let them go together. My brain/hormones let them go all the way- it'd be hot, but my heart says don't- because there should be something special between just him and I.

I'm looking for open minded people to give me feedback on what they'd do. All of our friends are closed minded and think we are crazy for even thinking about it.

Should there be official 3-some rules? Anyone down to help me figure them out?

[Puddles]

Hun, if you're not comfortable with the amount of time they're spending together, first tell your b.f. He probably has no idea how you're feeling. Then it should also be you to explain it to the other girl. Your feelings are very important since you and he are in a relationship together, the extra's are just that, extra's, and they should always play their role in the relationship, whatever role it is that you decide together as a couple.

My husband and I have one basic rule, that we will always keep communication open and tell one another how we feel. There have been times when I've said that I want to take a break from being with someone else and he understands. If I'm not initiating a 3-some and he wants to, he'll let me know he's wanting to play. We're married nearly 20 yrs, we're the closest of friends, and a few years ago we started having 3-somes with other girls together. I've been bi as long as I can remember but after getting married, we were monogamus for many years. For us it's like a special treat we do for ourselves, it's not something that happens every day. There was a time when we had a steady g/f but it became too complicated and weird. Keep it in perspective and you should all enjoy the experience!

[TheStromba]

Threesomes should always have rules.

I see the potential for you to be headed for trouble on this one though.

The fact that she is always there creates a "relationship" between the three of you.

Puddles and I tried a three way "relationship" once and it did not work out.

Feelings WILL get involved when the person is there all the time.

It's human nature. Especially if you are letting them have sex when you are not there. I would change that.

That intimate time they spend together over and over will form a bond eventually.

Puddles and I like our threesomes more casual. We have only a few friends we play with, but we do not do it constantly with the same person.

I really feel that the way you are doing it is a recipe for trouble.

[Puddles]

Originally posted by TheStromba
Threesomes should always have rules.

I see the potential for you to be headed for trouble on this one though.

The fact that she is always there creates a "relationship" between the three of you.

Puddles and I tried a three way "relationship" once and it did not work out.

Feelings WILL get involved when the person is there all the time.

It's human nature. Especially if you are letting them have sex when you are not there. I would change that.

That intimate time they spend together over and over will form a bond eventually.

Puddles and I like our threesomes more casual. We have only a few friends we play with, but we do not do it constantly with the same person.

I really feel that the way you are doing it is a recipe for trouble.

Good points.

As much as you may enjoy the one person you've added into the mix, having ONLY her and having her often will become a problem. Mix it up a bit and keep it less frequent.