Stress level..

[Puma]

My god.. My stress level is through the fucking roof right now..

My girl is down in Sea Isle (La Costa, ever been there Bouncer?) for a bacholorette party.. Unfortunately, for those who don't know, La Costa is like the hook up bar of hook up bars on the Jersey shore.. Its notorious for having lots of hot people who just don't give a fuck and are willing to hookup just for the night. So that has me stressed to the fucking max..

Then I check my messages, and I have a call from a job I applied for a LONG time ago down in Palm Beach, FL. I went through 2 interviews with them already, and then did not hear anything for a very long time. Well, now they called me again today, and its the person who runs background checks and that kind of shit.. So I am thinking they may be getting ready to make me an offer..

This would normally be a good thing, except when you recently met a girl you really like.. The problem is, I can't ask her to move there with me, its too new for that. But its going to suck really bad if we just end it because I move down there. But that's way to long distance to work, its just not an option. And she has a pretty good job up here too..

So.. Not only am I stressed about this shit, but I have no one to talk to about it.. I don't want to ruin her weekend away with her friends by telling her about the job.. She has been dreading a call from Palm Beach, but I think she has kind of forgotten about it now because the application was so long ago..

Fuck.. I am going to go rip back a few beers and hope that puts me in a coma or something.. I feel sick I am so nervous.. And all this bovine implant running through my body does not make things any better.. Fucking cramping like crazy because I did shoulders today..

Goddamn it.. Can't this weekend just be over..

Puma

[MuGGsy]

damn bro, hope that works out for ya man.. too much drama for me

[JUICE]

damn everything will be ok. Dont think too much bro, theres always a way.:) We here for u dude:D :drunk:

[Puma]

Me too.. And for the last few months my life has been totally drama free.. I was on The Bouncer's schedule.. Get up, eat, eat, gym, eat, eat, eat, bed.. It was boring, but it kept my stress much lower.. I am sure things will workout, but it just sucks that my girl is out partying when I really need to talk to her.. Not that I could not talk to her on the phone, I just don't want to fuckup her weekend by dropping this shit in her lap..

Tren is starting to give me bad cramping on top of everything.. And making me pissed as hell.. I am thinking about cutting it back a bit..

On a good note, my strength is through the roof.. It seems like every time I go into the gym I am picking up something heavier to workout with.. And I am starting to really notice changes in my body.. Quite happy with the cycle so far. Aggression is definately there, but controllable..

All right.. Off to the gym in a bit.. Fuck it, I am not even taking a shower before I go.. :) Shit ass gym, they don't deseve to have me try to put myself together before I go. And its chest day, so that should make me feel a little better.

Puma

Originally posted by MuGGsy
damn bro, hope that works out for ya man.. too much drama for me

[goliath]

just relax bro. you may as well just move - she's getting the high hard one from some italian dude right now anyway. fugettabout it...just go.

;)

[beefcake]

Originally posted by goliath
just relax bro. you may as well just move - she's getting the high hard one from some italian dude right now anyway. fugettabout it...just go.

;)

Hey, that's me. I had no idea it was your girl puma. :D J/K bro. Seriously, you gotta stop thinking about her and start thinking about what is most important in your future. There are plenty of girls out there, don't let one hold you up on your career. Long distance relations isn't out of the question.

[Puma]

Blah.. Thanks for the words of advice about the Italian dude..

The thing that sucks is I used to be that guy, in that same bar, leaving with some girl every night of the summer.. That's why its such a bitch for me to think about it..

My career is important to me, but I did this 2 years ago and regretted it every day.. I moved from FL to NY to take a job, and I left a girl I really liked down there.. Was shitty, and just did not work out the way I had hoped..

It just seems to be a pattern in my life.. Meet girl you like, then move away.. Repeat as needed.. Fucking blows.. But the job down there is a good one, and I am in a field that's really hurting right now (computers) so jobs are very scarce..

I just got back from the gym. I think I am going to make my protein shake with vodka instead of milk (maybe milk and vodka) and hopefully fall into a drunken stupor and pass out..

I can't do anything about any of this shit today anyway, so I just need to clear my mind of it.

Puma

[Puddles]

Decisions like this are never easy. Try to relax till your girl gets back and then talk to her about it all. Jobs may be hard to find but so are good people. If she's the one you'll know it. Personally, I'd rather be with the man I love and be poor than be alone and wealthy.

Watch the drinking...don't want to cloud your judgement too much. Good luck!

[Face]

Yeah puma, the important thing is that any decision that is taken is taken and agreed by both of you, because obviously whether you leave without her or not, its going to have a big effect on both your lives. I used to get these same anxiety feelings when my ex girlfriend used to go out, but the fact that your life has been drama free for a few months tells me this girl is the steady type and would probably not do anything to jeopardise her relationship with you.

So chill out bro and have a few beers and generally be a slob till she comes home :)

[Puma]

ahaha.. I had more then a few beers.. :)

But when I saw her yesterday, and the way she was acting, I knew immediately that nothing had happened down there.. So I feel much better about that.. Or she is a very good actress, but I really don't think so..

Now I am just waiting to get in touch with the HR person from Palm Beach. I tried to call her this morning, but of course got right into her voicemail..

This sucks.. I hate not knowing what is going on.. And I hate that my girl is sitting at work right now worrying her ass off about this shit too..

Puma

[beefcake]

Originally posted by Puma
ahaha.. I had more then a few beers.. :)

Tsk tsk. Shame on you man. :drunk:

[Puma]

Ahh..

Getting better..

Got a call back from Palm Beach today.. I got the job.. Money is pretty good.. Benfits are great (city job)..

My girl has been throwing up all day thinking about this.. I am starting to get crazy with anxiety from it as well.. I am going to go down to FL on Thurs, and want her to go with me to look at apartments.. Its going to just suck for a little while if she decides to come with me.. We are going to be poor.. Really poor.. Making decent money for 1 person is ok, but supporting 2 on it is going to be a big stretch.. Especially since we would need a bigger apt and all that jazz..

I am so stressed I can even think straight.. I accepted the position (took them almost 4 months to finish the selection process, they gave me 5 hours to make a decision.. Nice, huh?), but of course, they can't make me go, so that's not a big deal..

I just am at a loss.. I don't want to lose this girl. But I worry that we have not known each other for that long, and what if she changes after we get down there.. I would feel terriable if I sent her home after she gave up everything to be with me.

I think I am going to go smoke some PCP or something.. (No more drinking.. I felt like shit after that!).. :)

Any advice would be appeciated..

Puma

[beefcake]

Re: Ahh..

Originally posted by Puma
I think I am going to go smoke some PCP or something.. (No more drinking.. I felt like shit after that!).. :)

Don't do that man. Hit the gym to calm your nerves. I do a lot of good thinking in between sets. Plus I feel much more focused. How long have you known her? If this is an issue, then you may want to go alone til you can get all settled and then call her down later after you've had more time in the relationship.

[Puma]

Ahh yes.. The gym.. That did settle me down a bit.. I feel kind of sick still, but at least I have that contented sore feeling. When you get used to doing that to yourself all the time, it is almost relaxing to get in there.. And it felt so good to let that 130lb dumbell bounce off the floor.. Ahh.. At least I feel like I have power over something. :)

See, that's the problem. We have not known each other that long at all.. We have really only been seeing each other for about 3 months, although we talked on the phone for a few months before that. It would be much easier if we had a longer term thing, but I just worry that there are still things that we have not told each other (like.. Well, haven't been totally honest with her about my "supplement" use).

Its really scary. But at the same time, I don't know what we are going to be able to accomplish over the phone 1000 miles from one another either.

Its just hard to know what the right move is in this kind of situation.

Puma

[beefcake]

Originally posted by Puma
Ahh yes.. The gym.. That did settle me down a bit.. I feel kind of sick still, but at least I have that contented sore feeling. When you get used to doing that to yourself all the time, it is almost relaxing to get in there.. And it felt so good to let that 130lb dumbell bounce off the floor.. Ahh.. At least I feel like I have power over something. :)

See, that's the problem. We have not known each other that long at all.. We have really only been seeing each other for about 3 months, although we talked on the phone for a few months before that. It would be much easier if we had a longer term thing, but I just worry that there are still things that we have not told each other (like.. Well, haven't been totally honest with her about my "supplement" use).

Its really scary. But at the same time, I don't know what we are going to be able to accomplish over the phone 1000 miles from one another either.

Its just hard to know what the right move is in this kind of situation.

Puma

Well, if money is good, then you can always visit on the weekends. I just think that more time is needed in order to see the situation more clearly. Or you can live a little dangerously and just do it together. Make it an adventure and see how it turns out. I feel for you bro. I've been with my girl for 3 years so I know when correctional officer starts calling, she'll be coming with me wherever I go. You have to prioritize what is more important to you. I think if you do make the step together, then it's time to tell her about your little research project you've been up to.