Clean Joke

[beefcake]

It is hard to find a joke without a dirty word or two
in it. Here is one with none: Two tall trees, a birch
and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree
begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the
birch, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"
The birch says he cannot tell. Just then a woodpecker
lands on the sapling. The birch says, "Woodpecker, you
are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a
beech or a son of a birch?" The woodpecker takes a
taste of the small tree. He replies, "It is neither a
son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however,
the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in."

[Bouncer]

hahah

[Luftdude]

:rofl:

LD

[jmac2222]

Not clean but still funny and it's a Disney joke so the kids will love it.


Mickey is in court after filing for a divorce from Minnie.

The judge looks at Mickey and says,"I'm going to grant the divorce because I agree with you that Minnie does have some significant mental problems."

Mickey looks back at the judge and says,"I didnt say she was crazy, I said she was fucking Goofy"

[bad14u]

Ok....I'm gonna dirty this thread up a bit!

How do you tell when a fat woman is too fat to fuck?
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When you pull her panties down to her knees and her pussy is still in them!:P

[bjbabe]

This joke is somewhat clean.

A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine...."
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"
The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom." "And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother
asked. "Yes," he answered.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?"
The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."
The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son
of a bitch is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught
them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."

[FX4]

This is one I read a while back and have never forgotten...

There was an guy who was a real badboy and was always into trouble. Suddenly one day he received the call from God to spread his word, so he became a missionary and joined an African tribe a short while later. He spent the next two years of his life building a mission and preaching the gospel and the ways of the lord upon this tribe. One day, one of the tribe women gave birth to a white baby, so naturally the tribe became furious and demanded the chief bring the missionary to the tribal council and they would decide his fate. The chief hastily set out, and finally found the missionary setting on a nice rolling hill overlooking a beautiful green pasture. Immediately he run up to the guy and said, "One of our women gave birth to a white baby today!! You come over here supposedly spreading the ways of the gospel, that we are not to sin and such, and you do something like this?? We will surely put you to death!!" Calm and collected, the missionary put his arm around the chief and said, " Chief, look yonder on that hillside, full of beautiful white sheep, but if you'll look close, you'll see one black sheep there in the middle...that is the way of the lord!" The chief quickly blushed up, and grabbing the missionary by the arm whispered, "Shhh! You don't say anything about the fucking sheep and I won't say anything about the baby!!" :D

[spidey]

Little billy is in fourth grade.

Teacher: Billy, if there are four crows on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many would be left?"

little Billy: "Well Miss Shelly, none. If I shoot one, the others will fly away leaving no crows on the fence."

Teacher (a little amused): "The answer I was looking for was three but I like the way you think."

Later on the playground, little billy notices three pretty young women on the park bench and walks up to Miss Shelly.

Little Billy: "Miss Shelly; do you see those women on the park bench? One is drinking a soda. One is eating an ice cream and one is sucking on a pop sickle. Which one of them is married?"

Miss Shelly: "I don't know; probably the one sucking on the pop sickle."

Little Billy: "Well, the answer I was looking for was the one with the wedding ring on her finger......but I like the way you think....:)