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**Puddles** · 09-01-04, 12:58 AM

Puma, men and women typically do have different sex drives. Women do not have the amount of test in their systems as guys do. I remember when I did my first cycle of prop I told my husband I understood what it was like for guys. I never had a low sex drive but when I was on prop it was strongly increased. Your girl has no idea how you are feeling. Just tell her. Let her know, otherwise things will not change. if you're afraid of wording it wrong when you're talking to her, write it down in a letter tucked into a card. The card could be a sappy lovey dovey card so that she doesn't get the impression you're angry wtih her. Also, keep in mind that women don't reach their sexual peaks till they're in their 30's, so her drive is still on it's way up. Once she realizes how much you need sex, she will be more understanding and receptive to sharing the pleasure with you.

**bad14u** · 09-01-04, 09:22 AM

Re: So annoyed..

Originally posted by Puma

I just think of all the nice things that I do for her everyday and I can't believe that she can't make 30 minutes for us to enjoy each other's bodies.

but I just feel rejected because she would rather fall asleep then have sex..

I figure if I can take 4 hours out of my day to go and hang out with her parents then she can take 30 minutes out of hers and do something that is supposed to be mutually enjoyable. Am I wrong?

First off...don't go and assume that just because you go and do nice things for her that she owes you sex!

Secondly...you shouldn't feel rejected! This probably has nothing to do with you at all! Maybe sex in the mornings is better for her! Talk about it!

And third....make sure that it is enjoyable for BOTH of you! 30 minutes may not be long enough for her to get off!

More than likely this problem can be resolved by communicating with one another! IMO

**Timma** · 09-01-04, 09:33 AM

I know exactly what you are going through. I went through the same thing with my g/f. Like Puddles said girls do not have the same sex drive as we do. Therefore they don't want it as much as we do. My g/f works so hard at school that she gets very tired. I started to understand that. I got pissed alot, but I let it pass. And she definitely does not owe you sex. Sex is not a give and take type of thing.
But if she tells you that you already got it once this week and you don't need anymore, then you should get pissed. She tried that with me before and that pissed me off to no end.
Once you move in together, things will change. You'll have alot more time for each other.
Sorry it's early and that's why i'm rambling.

***Bouncer*** · 09-01-04, 09:58 AM

I think your a little confused here. "I do nice things for her". hahaha. For that she should have sex whenever you want? This has to be the most ignorant thread I have seen in awhile. You say yourself that she is under alot of stress. Haven't you ever not been in the mood? Im sorry bro, but saying, "i will find it somewhere else" just because she dosent want to have sex every single night makes you sound like an ignorant asshole.

**sunkiss** · 09-01-04, 10:03 AM

It was once. Your complaining about it after one time.. Try having the guy say he is tired, or too full, or something good is on tv, for 3 frigging years. After you live together for some time, sometimes it gets worse trust in that one, either except that someone has a low sex drive, and live happy. Or leave it. I of course felt the same as you, I am young and I need it. But I often am left wondering now if that was because I was just being selfish and thinking of my own needs instead of his. Dont be selfish and do something foolish. Stateing that you will look for it elsewhere always comes back to bite you in the ass.

**Puma** · 09-01-04, 10:19 AM

Its not as if I feel that I am "entilteled" to sex whenever I want it. And not that I feel that because I do nice things for her she needs to have sex with me. Its just that, given the situation that we are in right now, I am under an amazing amount of stress.. Which I am sure is what is effecting her sex drive.. However, thinking that she no longer wants to have sex with me is just making the stress that much worse. We are getting ready to move in together, and I worry that I am moving in with someone whose sex drive does not match my own, and is going to cause problems very quickly in the relationship.

I did not mean what I said last night about "finding it somewhere else".. I was just pissed as hell, and needed to get it out of my system. Much better that you meatheads hear it then I say something like that to my girlfriend.. :)

Its just hard, because when I am under stress I want to have sex to try and relieve some of the tension. It seems that she is the opposite, and would rather not have sex when she is really stressed. But it is making me question what our life is going to be like in the future, if she gets stressed out am I to expect no sex?

Its very hard for a guy to understand. I have never turned her down for sex, or fallen asleep during foreplay or anything like that.. It is hard for me to know what to think..

Sorry that I came off like an ignorant prick.. I realized that it was a possiblity, but I really need to get this shit off my chest somewhere before I go off the deep end and say something to her that I am going to regret forever..

Puma

**Timma** · 09-01-04, 10:24 AM

Originally posted by sunkiss
It was once. Your complaining about it after one time.. Try having the guy say he is tired, or too full, or something good is on tv, for 3 frigging years. After you live together for some time, sometimes it gets worse trust in that one, either except that someone has a low sex drive, and live happy. Or leave it. I of course felt the same as you, I am young and I need it. But I often am left wondering now if that was because I was just being selfish and thinking of my own needs instead of his. Dont be selfish and do something foolish. Stateing that you will look for it elsewhere always comes back to bite you in the ass.

You wanna trade? You come live with me and i'll send my girl to your guy. :)

**majoradams** · 09-01-04, 10:30 AM

Bro if you love your girl then you gotta respect her, if she doesnt want sex then she doesnt want it. You can go jerk off in the shower while shes asleep if its that bad. Believe me you will get used to this, just wait till your married lol

**FX4** · 09-01-04, 10:36 AM

Originally posted by majoradams
Bro if you love your girl then you gotta respect her, if she doesnt want sex then she doesnt want it. You can go jerk off in the shower while shes asleep if its that bad. Believe me you will get used to this, just wait till your married lol

Yep, that's the truth....when my wife and I were dating, at least once a night, every night...get married, still many times a week, but no set schedule...sometimes she may be upset and not in the mood, sometimes I may be severely fucking stressed and not in the mood either because my mind is on a million different things...doesn't mean we don't love each other any more or not attracted, because I'll either wake up at 3 am and take care of business while that shit's not on my mind or make up for it the next night, which I am sure your girl will probably do for you tonight bro :agree:

**bjbabe** · 09-01-04, 10:53 AM

Puma

Life is stressful and thats something that everyone has to live with. You have to talk to your girl and tell her how you feel. There are times that i am not in the mood at all. And there are times when my guy is not in the mood. There was a period were he never wanted to do anything and i was upset with him. At times i wondered if he was still attracted to me and if i still turned him on sexually. Don't question your life with her and wonder whats going to be in store for you over the years about not expecting sex. If you continue thinking like that you are going to ruin your relationship with her. And if you do go somewhere else you really think your girl is going to forgive you if she finds out. YOu can live one day without it. Its not going to be the end of the world.
My guy has fallen sleep on me during sex and it has crossed my mind am i not doing it for him anymore!

The best advice is talk to your girl tell her what upset you and why she did not want to have sex. If there is no communication in your realtionship you need to change that and both of you will be very happy. Dont do something you are going to regret cause you will never change the outcome. Good luck!

**Puddles** · 09-01-04, 10:56 AM

Originally posted by Puma

Its just hard, because when I am under stress I want to have sex to try and relieve some of the tension. It seems that she is the opposite, and would rather not have sex when she is really stressed. But it is making me question what our life is going to be like in the future, if she gets stressed out am I to expect no sex?

Some people just want to be left alone when they're under pressure while others find having sex as a form of relief. Some people train, some overeat. Everyone has their own way of making themselves feel better.

I really think if you explain to your girl how you feel, she'll be understanding and who knows, she may find it a great stress reliever as well. If not, then there isn't much you can do except to wait out the stressful times with patience and look forward for normalcy to return.

**sana** · 09-01-04, 10:59 AM

everyone deals with stress in different ways. you may want to have sex when you're stressed out, but she may need to sleep it off.

you did come off sounding like an ignorant prick, there's no way around it.

sorry to be blunt, but even when you're mad, you need to realize that there are 2 people in your relationship. not just your dick and your needs.

**Puma** · 09-01-04, 01:09 PM

Originally posted by sana
everyone deals with stress in different ways. you may want to have sex when you're stressed out, but she may need to sleep it off.

you did come off sounding like an ignorant prick, there's no way around it.

sorry to be blunt, but even when you're mad, you need to realize that there are 2 people in your relationship. not just your dick and your needs.

Well, that's why I air shit out here instead of to my girl.. I can deal with it if people here think I am a prick.. I love my girl, and I would never say anything like that to her. And when I wrote the first post I was really, really stressed and pissed off.. I feel better now, but my stress level is still through the roof..

I just don't ever want to get into those kind of relationships where neither person really wants to have sex. Its just too important to me in a long term relationship to have a good sexual life together. It scares me that over the next few months she is going to be stressed (as am I) and that maybe we are going to have very little or no sex. That is just going to push my stress level through the roof..

I do feel a little better hearing other opinions on this issue.. I just hope that our sex life gets back to normal soon.. I just won't be able to stand it if what we are at right now is "normal" and what we had before was just the sex early in a relationship. I absolutely love this girl, and love having sex with her. It just hurts to think that she might love me just as much as I love her, but not want to have sex.. I need the physical intimacy to back up the emotional closeness..

Hopefully this will all settle out in a few months.. And hopefully I won't get Bouncer all pissed off anymore for sounding like a prick. I just have to blow off some steam sometimes, and this seems like a much better place to do it then making people around me suffer.. You fuckers have to choose to read my messages.. :)

Thanks for the advice.. Any other tips would be appreciated!

Puma

**JUICE** · 09-01-04, 09:43 PM

Originally posted by THE BOUNCER
I think your a little confused here. "I do nice things for her". hahaha. For that she should have sex whenever you want? This has to be the most ignorant thread I have seen in awhile. You say yourself that she is under alot of stress. Haven't you ever not been in the mood? Im sorry bro, but saying, "i will find it somewhere else" just because she dosent want to have sex every single night makes you sound like an ignorant asshole.

i agree with u 100% here bro.

Originally posted by Puma
My girl is asleep in my bed right now.. We did not have sex tonight, and I am fucking pissed off.. I wanted to (of course) but she was tired and just fell asleep..

u gotta understand bro, when a girl says no means no. I leanred that from my girl. At times im in the mood and shes not. I gotta respect her decision. Its all about respect.

Originally posted by Puma
I just think of all the nice things that I do for her everyday and I can't believe that she can't make 30 minutes for us to enjoy each other's bodies.

again respect the lady.

Originally posted by Puma
Its just really fucking annoying.. I don't know how to tell her nicely, but if I not getting it in this relationship, I will find it elsewhere.. I am a young guy, and I am sorry, but sex is very important to me. Ahh fuck it.. I just know that this shit is either going to resolve itself when we move in together.. Either we are going to fall into a pattern of having sex every night (or almost) or something is going to have to change..

i got a question for u here bro. DO u love her, if u do u can wait bro. I know at times shes not into it, or when she is u wont. But there is always a time for that. Its not something u have to do in order to live. Its not the end of the world too.

When u say u will find it somewhere else. You know what, why not let go of her and be single bro. You can get all the girls u want there without no worries. Without hurting her feelings bro. Its just a like being backstabbed by someone u trusted so much.

When u all move together its a different story dude. Even gets better when married.

Originally posted by Puma
I really don't know how to bring this up to her without really pissing her off.. And I don't want to think that she is having sex with me just to make me happy.. I really can't get off if I don't feel like she is having a good time..

serioulsy bro, dont tell her anything. Shes gonna think u just want her for one thing. U could hurt her there. If sex is all u want, just break it off bro and find someone who would want to be a fuck-buddy with you. Thats my best bet.

Originally posted by Puma
I need some suggestions here.. I can't spend the rest of my life with someone who has a sex drive that is different then my own.. I need the emotional closeness that sex brings, especially now when we are getting ready to make so many changes in our life.

my best bet is get another girl bro, or else be happy that u got a girlfriend man, who loves u for u, not for sex but for u.

Originally posted by Puma
I figure if I can take 4 hours out of my day to go and hang out with her parents then she can take 30 minutes out of hers and do something that is supposed to be mutually enjoyable. Am I wrong?

not even me i wouldnt say that about my girl, spending time with parents for a return of something enjoyable. I spend 4 months once without getting any. Yeah i got frustrated and all. Wanted to bang any hot chick, but i said to myself, would it be worth it. Just a straight fuck and thats it, or maybe here and there banging some chicks. I said hell no, I really love my girl and wouldnt do anything to hurt her. I can wait. Thats why i have a fricken hand, to rub one off whenever.

Hey buddy, i hope u didnt take this bad or anything like that , but that is what i think about the situation. My reasons are because I got 2 younger sisters and wouldnt want any guys ever saying or thinking that about them. I was raised to respect women, a gentleman. I would kill if someone did that to my sisters or wanted them for that. You just gotta respect women bro, no matter if they are virgins, or have been around for a while. Women are women no matter what. I dont care if their fat, skinny, muscluar, chunky, even handycapped.

Out of topic: but To me women will always be respected, and whoever disrespects a women that aint a man, and feel the juices wrath.:D

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