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It has been known for many years that Sex was good exercise, but until now nobody had made a scientific study of the calorie content of different sexual activities. Now after "original and proprietary" research the results are in:
REMOVING YOUR CLOTHES:
With your consent...............................12 Calories
Without your consent..........................2187 Calories
OPENING YOUR BRA:
With both hands................................8 Calories
With one hand.................................12 Calories
With his teeth..............................485 Calories
PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection...............................6 Calories
Without an erection.........................3315 Calories
PRELIMINARIES:
Trying to find the clitoris.....................8 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot...................4092 Calories
POSITIONS:
Missionary......................................12 Calories
69 lying down..................................78 Calories
69 standing up................................812 Calories
Wheelbarrow...................................216 Calories
Doggy Style...................................326 Calories
Italian chandelier...........................2912 Calories
ORGASMS:
Real..........................................112 Calories
Fake.........................................1315 Calories
POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging........................................... .......18
Calories
Getting up immediately....................................... .......36
Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately...........816 Calories
GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
If you are:
20-29 years....................................36 Calories
30-39 years....................................80 Calories
40-49 years...................................124 Calories
50-59 years..................................1972 Calories
60-69 years..................................7916 Calories
70 and over..............................Results are still pending
DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly.........................................32 Calories
In a hurry.....................................98 Calories
With your boo knocking at the door.........5218 Calories
With the 1 u care about knocking at the door......13,521 Calories
REMOVING YOUR CLOTHES:
With your consent...............................12 Calories
Without your consent..........................2187 Calories
OPENING YOUR BRA:
With both hands................................8 Calories
With one hand.................................12 Calories
With his teeth..............................485 Calories
PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection...............................6 Calories
Without an erection.........................3315 Calories
PRELIMINARIES:
Trying to find the clitoris.....................8 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot...................4092 Calories
POSITIONS:
Missionary......................................12 Calories
69 lying down..................................78 Calories
69 standing up................................812 Calories
Wheelbarrow...................................216 Calories
Doggy Style...................................326 Calories
Italian chandelier...........................2912 Calories
ORGASMS:
Real..........................................112 Calories
Fake.........................................1315 Calories
POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging........................................... .......18
Calories
Getting up immediately....................................... .......36
Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately...........816 Calories
GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
If you are:
20-29 years....................................36 Calories
30-39 years....................................80 Calories
40-49 years...................................124 Calories
50-59 years..................................1972 Calories
60-69 years..................................7916 Calories
70 and over..............................Results are still pending
DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly.........................................32 Calories
In a hurry.....................................98 Calories
With your boo knocking at the door.........5218 Calories
With the 1 u care about knocking at the door......13,521 Calories