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**for you shibby**
twas the night before christmas, and from the north pole to peru
nothing was sucking, except for ou
the stockings were hung by the broken tv with class
in hopes that oklahoma wouldnt blow so much ass
the children were nestled all snug in their bed
like good oklahomans, the girls give their brothers head
and mamma in her kerchief, and i in my confederate flag bandana
whats that in your pocket, brother? its no banana
when out in the yard, all the stray dogs started to bark
i wondered if santa had come to my trailer park
away to the window, i flew like a flash
i had to step over some live chickens, because im fucking white trash
i looked out the window at all the other trailers
it seems the dogs were barking at our drunk ass neighbors
but im a proud sooner, so this is everyday life
the guy next door was again stabbed by his wife
so i grabbed my bag of shrooms and popped open a beer
i was now determined to make santa appear
i looked in the sky, and what did i see?
better than santa, it was the schooner and those little horseys
the driver was wearing a visor and had his hand on his knob
i knew in a moment it must be coach bob
more rapid than water under a dam his coursers they came
and his brother mike hollered and shouted and cussed them out by name
now bosworth! now selmon! now gundy and thompson!
on switzer! on john blake! on najera and sampson!
to the top of the trailer, you stupid fucking shits
to the top of the wall, blake, with your saggy man tits
out of the back of the schooner stepped a beautiful sight
from the complexion, hairline, and crooked yelow teeth, i could tell it was jason white
i knew that this year, i must have been good
beauty and greatness was gracing my neighborhood
i invited them in, and tethered my goats to a pole
and then for my guests and myslef, i started packing a bowl
we broke open the mad dog, schlitz, and colt 45
i was well prepared for this day that i knew would eventually arrive
we sang boomer sooner all night, sitting in a circle, holding hands
we spoke of the pride of oklahoma: bulk cigarette shops, turquoise jewelry, and roadisde fruit stands
i asked why teddy lehman wasnt here, my favorite sooner from the past
bob said "hes busy tonight. how do you think santa's sleigh moves so fast?"
we spoke of recruiting, he said we got a commitment today
but bob said he couldnt talk about it, because of the ncaa
barry said "thats never stopped me, bob. please tell us, who is it?"
he committed to oklahoma freakshow. not that he lives in oklahoma, and i am the idoit
all of a sudden, i awoke, soaked in sweat, with a scream
i then realized this was all just a bad dream
i ran to the wall where hangs my degree
i read it over and over, it said "u fucking t"
i went back to bed with a great sense of relief
the scare from my nightmare had only been brief
i dreamed the rest of the night about finally winning again in '05
if not in real life, then theres always xbox live
plus weve got academics, basketball, baseball, and other sports too
many things that cannot be claimed by ou
i went to texas so i could make the big bucks
what sucks is ou, and ou is what sucks
HOOK EM!!
twas the night before christmas, and from the north pole to peru
nothing was sucking, except for ou
the stockings were hung by the broken tv with class
in hopes that oklahoma wouldnt blow so much ass
the children were nestled all snug in their bed
like good oklahomans, the girls give their brothers head
and mamma in her kerchief, and i in my confederate flag bandana
whats that in your pocket, brother? its no banana
when out in the yard, all the stray dogs started to bark
i wondered if santa had come to my trailer park
away to the window, i flew like a flash
i had to step over some live chickens, because im fucking white trash
i looked out the window at all the other trailers
it seems the dogs were barking at our drunk ass neighbors
but im a proud sooner, so this is everyday life
the guy next door was again stabbed by his wife
so i grabbed my bag of shrooms and popped open a beer
i was now determined to make santa appear
i looked in the sky, and what did i see?
better than santa, it was the schooner and those little horseys
the driver was wearing a visor and had his hand on his knob
i knew in a moment it must be coach bob
more rapid than water under a dam his coursers they came
and his brother mike hollered and shouted and cussed them out by name
now bosworth! now selmon! now gundy and thompson!
on switzer! on john blake! on najera and sampson!
to the top of the trailer, you stupid fucking shits
to the top of the wall, blake, with your saggy man tits
out of the back of the schooner stepped a beautiful sight
from the complexion, hairline, and crooked yelow teeth, i could tell it was jason white
i knew that this year, i must have been good
beauty and greatness was gracing my neighborhood
i invited them in, and tethered my goats to a pole
and then for my guests and myslef, i started packing a bowl
we broke open the mad dog, schlitz, and colt 45
i was well prepared for this day that i knew would eventually arrive
we sang boomer sooner all night, sitting in a circle, holding hands
we spoke of the pride of oklahoma: bulk cigarette shops, turquoise jewelry, and roadisde fruit stands
i asked why teddy lehman wasnt here, my favorite sooner from the past
bob said "hes busy tonight. how do you think santa's sleigh moves so fast?"
we spoke of recruiting, he said we got a commitment today
but bob said he couldnt talk about it, because of the ncaa
barry said "thats never stopped me, bob. please tell us, who is it?"
he committed to oklahoma freakshow. not that he lives in oklahoma, and i am the idoit
all of a sudden, i awoke, soaked in sweat, with a scream
i then realized this was all just a bad dream
i ran to the wall where hangs my degree
i read it over and over, it said "u fucking t"
i went back to bed with a great sense of relief
the scare from my nightmare had only been brief
i dreamed the rest of the night about finally winning again in '05
if not in real life, then theres always xbox live
plus weve got academics, basketball, baseball, and other sports too
many things that cannot be claimed by ou
i went to texas so i could make the big bucks
what sucks is ou, and ou is what sucks
HOOK EM!!
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