How to get out of FRIEND ZONE?

[wnabeabeast]

I started this because I didn't wanna jack Slayers thread. :nerdnew:
So here it goes. I am sure almost every one had this issue at some point in their life.
I have this friend that I care about alot. We've been friends for five years and been through thick and thin together. We both have daughters are exact same age,we are both divorced and whole bunch of other stuff that I can write all thay about.
Lately we are spending lots and lots of time together and it has been amazing she just waaay to cool and funny and of course smart :nerdnew:
I have to get to work now but when I come back I'll write some more so go head guys start the brain storm.
Sorry for the cliffhanger.

[Shibby]

I'll repost this here:

To get out of the friend zone can be very difficult. No one wants to loose a good friend they can talk to and confide in. Espeacially if you are the only one she really goes to when she needs someone to talk to. But pretty much you can't be subtle about your feelings. You will need to tell her straight out. Tell her how you feel right now and see what she thinks. Don't lay it on strong or in way that makes you sound in love, but do be honest. Once you do, if she dosn't feel the same, you will have to be extra carefull not to act in any way that can be taken as flirtacious(sp) for a while. If you are fine with still being just friends. If she does want to see what's there you should take the realtionship very slow. If you go to fast it will freak her out and make her feel confused. Confused, if the feelings she is having is just the closeness of friends or enjoying how things are developing. She would back out affraid that the emotional swing will be to strong and she will loose someone she needs in her life more than a relatonship.

[wnabeabeast]

OK I am back.
As of now things are in cruise control. I have a birtday coming up in couple weeks and I allready made some plans to go out of town with her( we are taking the girls with us also.)so I don't wanna say anything yet. I figured I'll wait till we are away in the hotel and maybe have the talk over a bottle of wine.
But in the mean time,there is nothing wrong with getting some good advice from some friends so I can have my game plan:)
But than again no body knows what will happen untill we get there. :hmmm:

[Shibby]

The thing about doing it while you are out of town is if things get real wierd or it completely backfires, your stuck in an akward sitution. Just something to consider.

[wnabeabeast]

I thought about that too. So I'll just play it by ear. I don't wanna ruin a what could be a great fun weekend.

[slayer of souls]

A few things to consider:

How important is your friendship, and how could my purposed actions affect it?

Shibby gave some great info, and I fully agree. You don’t want to go in to eager otherwise that may just overwhelm her, and it sounds like you are looking for a mature relationship so take things slow.

During the your weekend ignite some of her senses and create a romantic ambience and through that judge her reactions. The key is to be discreet, as you obviously know, you don’t want to make drastic moves as it could completely jeopardized a well built friendship.

Make small gestures to show your romantic interest in her, before saying anything concrete. You don’t want to take her by surprise because that will just endanger your friendship.

The most important thing to do is to pay attention to detail, monitor her body language throughout the trip and through that you will be able to gauge the situation more accurately.

Good luck bro, I really do hope things work out well for the two of you.

[wnabeabeast]

OK an update. It's 12:30am PT. After the rugby game( This was part of the weekend plan,and I don't play rugby.) I was hanging out with the guys,this was around 6pm.She knew I was going to be with them. But... she calls me anyways to say hi and to ask how the game was and blah,blah,blah...by the way they lost by 70pts. That's right 70pts. And than she asks me if I want to do dinner and maybe a drink with her later. So of course I said yes. To make to long story short we had a great time again. I didn't mention anything about my feelings but I made couple of jokes about the up coming trip and sleeping situation and some other stuff. She just laughed at it and said no to my suggestions.
About 3hrs later I took her back to her place at the door she gave me a very friendly hugh and...I left. Got back in my car,got home and started to type this.
So this is what I realized: Who the fuck am I kidding,she will never look at me anything more than a friend,nothing more. I might as well be one of the girls. She'll go out and date some asshole so she can tell me,how misserable she is and how badly this guy is treating her and the other bullshit that comes with it.
I don't know guys at this point I might just have to burry the feelings and have her in my life as a friend.
FUCK. :cursin:
I blew off my bike ride in the morning so I can spend the evening with her that is worst the part. OK may be it's not the worst part but it is pretty bad.

[slayer of souls]

I don’t agree, although the likelihood of something happening between the two of you is diminishing, I would like to think that there is still a possibility.

The jokes were a good move, it sucks that she did not at least respond playfully.

Don’t repress your feelings bro, that won’t solve anything.

The friendship between the two of you seems like something deep and meaningful maybe in the future she will realize that. Don’t let this get you down, you still have a great weekend away planned with her and make the most of it. Consider yourself lucky to have found someone as special as her.

[wnabeabeast]

^^^
Thanks bro well said.

[Shibby]

I agree with slayer. With my ex I was best friends with her for 3 years. Then she dated this guy for like 7 months and things got bad. I was there for her and stuff, then it just kind of happened. She saw that I was someone who could give her what she wanted and make her happy. Granted I was in my Senior year of high school when we got together (but so many of the feelings and situation are the same), but it lasted almost 4 years. We just grew apart instead of together as we got older.

[wnabeabeast]

OK guys. I just dug this thred out because,this is it we are leaving this afternoon. wish me luck.
And HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! :party: :party: :party: :party:

[coffee-guy]

OK guys. I just dug this thred out because,this is it we are leaving this afternoon. wish me luck.

Best of luck bro...

And HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! :party: :party: :party: :party:

Happy Birthday too....

Damn FitnessBrat falling down on the job again :D......

[lxorl]

good luck... enjoy the trip.... just because it might not happen this month, dont rule it out down the line... sometimes it takes a long time to realize things.

[malibu barbie]

Happy Birthday and good luck! Slayer and Shibby gave you some good advice.

[slayer of souls]

Happy birthday bro!

Let us know how your weekend goes!