Question give me an answer of you can or an opinion if you can

[someone-new]

Ok I am a member on this board but under a different member name I am using this name just incase someone signs on that I know and I really don't want this kinda thing to
go around to people I know, So here goes I was married for a while and I had one child and my wife and I were going through some problems because she kinda thought she was
with an ex of hers so we would split up and she would try to figure out what she wanted and it would always be the other guy at first but then she would come back to me and
we would be together for a few moths and it would start all over again. Until finally I had enough so we got a divorce and this so called guy she liked for some reason doesn't
want to be tired down to one girl and told her this in which she continues to see him and crap once and awhile but she calls him everyday in which he does not try to call her
she has to call him. Anyway here is the part that confuses me on what to do. She got pregnant from this guy shortly after we went our separate ways he from what she tells me
wants nothing to do with her she is going to have this baby without him is what she told me and she said if he doesn't want anything to do with her that is fine. What I did was
I told her that I would be there for her if she needed anything I friend to talk to a person to do something with just whatever she needs. I still have feeling for her and still
am very much in love with her. So should I tell her this and should I be there for her if she needs me. She told me last night that she feels she burned the bridge with me after
the whole divorce but how do you tell someone that they didn't without sounding like an idiot so going through all this and still wanting to do anything for this person.
It's not that I have no one else to go out with I mean I have gone out since we got divorced but I just can't seem to get the ex out of my head or my heart. I have never been in
love with someone so much that I couldn't just find someone new and move on and for some reason I can't get her out of my heart or head. So after al this I am not sure if anyone
can answer this in anyway but what should I do should I be there for her if she needs me or should I try to break the tie I have for her.

[Hollywood]

Dude, if I were you, I would break the tie. I understand you still have strong feelings for you, but if she left you once, who's to say she won't do it again? You don't deserve to be walked on, and while it's great that you want to be there for her, she did burn the bridge, maybe this is what it's gonna take for her to see what she did wrong. DOn't let yourself get all wrapped up in her again, she may do you over again...Good luck, and sorry to hear all that!:kiss:

[trip]

someone,

It's takes a certain amount of bravery to face ones feelings, no matter how good or bad or painfull they may be, so in one way that is good it is what you are doing. The hope in all of this is that somehow someway you learn from this experience. What you learn is at this point anyone's guess.

Since you posted this, I take it you are very serious in your search for an answer. So, I'd like to ask a question, if you don't feel comfortable answering it, that is perfectly okay.

I have some work to do this am so I'll come back and check this later and we'll see if we can uncover any mysery's here and possible some help.

Question: What is it that you love about her? And please be specfic, rather than general.

Good Luck

[Auriflex]

Tough question. Which is why i wont touch it.

[saturn]

That's a tough one....Me, I don't think I could trust her after that. You may be more of a man and able to handle raising another mans child but I don't know if I could. I guess it all comes down to your feelings for her. Can you put aside the past and continue forward? Will you be able to trust her and build a stable relationship?
I wish you the best of luck in what ever decision you make.

[someone-new]

Originally posted by trip
someone,


Question: What is it that you love about her? And please be specfic, rather than general.

Good Luck

What I love about her, I love her sense of humor, I love that she makes me laugh when we where together we never fought we never disagreed on anything, I love that she is a strong person she can survive on her own. She is very outgoing. she is a beautiful person and I don't mean the looks I mean inside she is she has a good personality. She has a big heart.
Sometimes it is hard to explain why you love a person and I love her because of who she is and who she has become. And who I am when I am with her.
I love the way she sleeps the way I can hear her talking in her sleep and how I can ask her what she said when she is asleep and she will repeat it and have no idea it happened. I love the way she looks when she wakes up. And I love how we could just sit and do nothing all day but talk and we would both be fine with that .

[trip]

someone,

Well, my morning is a little tough, can't get connected to where I need to be so dropped back in.

It's obvious you've thought of this question before, which is again very good. Yes, why we love is sometimes a funny thing as you say, yet it is also a plus to know what makes us happy. And just that you can "just be" together and that is good enough is a nice place to be, for anyone.

Let me state up front, that I'm supplying some information and answers without knowing hardly anything, which has much greater limitations and chances for being incorrect than correct, so please be cautious with what I say and how I say it, cause essentially working without a net here and one eye shut.

Often times when folks ask a question such as yours, unfortunately they are not neccesarily looking for help or a direction they are just looking for confirmation of an answer they already have in their head. And once someone says, hey this is it, and it agrees with what you have already decided, it gives you some motivation to take the next step.

So, the next question is, and again you do not have to answer it if you do not feel comfortable is: Is there some answer that you yourself already have that you are just looking for some confirmation? And if so, what is it?

Again, let me re-iterate, that might be the wrong question to ask right now cause of limited knowledge, yet, let's just see if something comes up.

[someone-new]

Originally posted by trip
someone,

So, the next question is, and again you do not have to answer it if you do not feel comfortable is: Is there some answer that you yourself already have that you are just looking for some confirmation? And if so, what is it?

Again, let me re-iterate, that might be the wrong question to ask right now cause of limited knowledge, yet, let's just see if something comes up.

Well Do I already have an answer No real sure I have alot of crap going through my head right now and just trying to weed out what is the right way to go and what is the wrong way to go. Should I hold my life and see what happens or should I try to forget that and try to move forward with my life. I guess from past experiences with her that I have gone back to her if she wanted to try it again But I tried to move away from those feeling and I try to break free after all that has been done I just can't . I mean should I try to be there as a friend and help her out or not is the one question that keeps popping in my head and that is one I don't have an answer to. Because I love her and she knows I love her. I mean one thing I don't think I have mentioned is that this happened before at Christmas time and she had an abortion and we worked it out for a while. So that is one thing that is killing me for some reason she put herself in that position again. The question I ask her is Why and how could you let this happen her answer is I don't know. Not sure if I answered the question but this is the best I could do for that question.

[trip]

Someone,

No, don't worry you did fine.

Again, if it is okay, what happened between you and her after the abortion?

[someone-new]

Originally posted by trip
Someone,

No, don't worry you did fine.

Again, if it is okay, what happened between you and her after the abortion?

Well not sure if you understood what i had wrote But the abortion she had was the other guys baby and she had it without him even knowing then she told him she didn't love him and wanted nothing to do with him a few months later she ended up back and in the same postion. Now after she told him that Her and i got back together and everything was fine until she started to drift and think she had feeling for him so instead of waiting for her to figure them out this time we finally ended but on good trems we still talk and get along just fine. She sayd i am a wonderful man and any woman would want what i have and she hopes i would find someone to give me what i give them but right now she can't do that. That was ina note on the day of my divorce.
THe thing that pisses me off is the guy treats her like crap wants nothing to do with her knowing she id\s carrying his baby doen't even call to see how she is or anything when i think of that it makes me want to find him and kick the shit out of him.

[trip]

Yes, I understood.

Is she still seeing him?

[someone-new]

She says not everyday but once a week they see eachother but that is all

[trip]

How often do you see her, and or talk to her?

[someone-new]

Atleast once a day i talk to her and see her 3 times a week

[trip]

In reference to taking care of your child, or do you two do things together?