GF's sex drive is virtually non-existant

[ROCKILLER]

That could really be compounding your problem, or be the cause of it. I was with a couple girls on the pills and some of them had a bigger sex drive and some a smaller. I think it screwed with the minds and moods of all of them. I was also with this girl and she started betting that shot every 3? months. Man, that is some weird shit. Sometimes, especially right ofter the shot, I couldnt even begin to keep her satisfied, other times, nothing. If youre in a commited relationship and can use another method to prevent pregnancy I would do that instead of having the girl on pills.

[The_Grinder]

She doesnt take it just to prevent pregnancy. Her cycle gets really really screwy when she isnt taking them. She is going to try to got off of them again in a month or two and see if it is any better than the last time. Geez I hope so!

[Bouncer]

Is that what the problem was with you?

:dancingne

[rude]

My ex-gfs sex drive was normal for most of our relationship and by the ending her sex drive was dead.........She was cheating on me. Not saying your girl is doing something of that nature but always be sure to look for signs, your story reminds me of my past relationship.

[xxxkazxxx]

Is that what the problem was with you?


Has anyone heard or I guess the woman may have experience with womens sexual growth. As in, my GF, although not nearly like grinder, also doesnt have a sex drive that compares to mine. She seems to think that part of it has to do with her age, she is only 21. As you get around 30 or 35 is it common for women to change in this respect.

I agree with what Foghat said. It helps.

I dont think a womens sex drive changes because of age..i just think it appears to because come 30 your experienced and know what you want so you are more forthcoming to get in and do it. know what i mean? maturity brings a whole new level.

[xxxkazxxx]

My ex-gfs sex drive was normal for most of our relationship and by the ending her sex drive was dead.........She was cheating on me. Not saying your girl is doing something of that nature but always be sure to look for signs, your story reminds me of my past relationship.

Just to add to that. And certainly not saying this is whats happening. I dont know your g/f. But I know that with SOME women who cheat, or want to cheat, their loyalty switches sides. They no longer feel they owe their loyalty to you, but to the guy they are thinking of or are cheating with. Hence they stop sleeping with you. They tend to think its not wrong if they are only sleeping with one guy at a time.

But there is ofcourse 101 reasons why a chick isn't putting out. Maybe I should write a book on it. Make some $$$$. On the flip side, my b/f dosnt put out either. But it's because he's lazy. So atleast I know why. That kinda helps! It was frustrating before I realised that! And when I didnt know why, I tried so hard to be this fabulous sexual person and do everything to him to get him going. Well then I realised he was just laying back, lapping up the luxury & is just to lazy to get up and have a go. Well now he better go to dog school and learn to lick his own balls cause when I get into bed now, it's to recover. I aint moving any muscle that isn't attached to a weight.

[Mr I]

Just to add to that. And certainly not saying this is whats happening. I dont know your g/f. But I know that with SOME women who cheat, or want to cheat, their loyalty switches sides. They no longer feel they owe their loyalty to you, but to the guy they are thinking of or are cheating with. Hence they stop sleeping with you. They tend to think its not wrong if they are only sleeping with one guy at a time.

well thats a comforting thought for him, you must know some real genuine people then :laughnew:

[xxxkazxxx]

well thats a comforting thought for him, you must know some real genuine people then :laughnew:

Ive met all sorts. As im sure everyone has! Its great..makes me seem normal! :wacko:

[Bouncer]

well thats a comforting thought for him,

:laughnew:

[The_Grinder]

Well, like I said before. It crossed my mind once that it could be because she was cheating, but the sheer length of time this has been going on kind of rules that out IMO. I know her very well, and if something was going on, she would have ended the relationship sometime in the last year and a half. Plus I would have picked up on some other signs, i.e. weird numbers on her cell phone, not being able to see me as much, acting funny, etc. (None of which I have seen at all) She is going off the birth control in a few weeks cuz she says she wants to fix the problem as much as I do. I'll let you know how it turns out.

[goliath]

I'm probably not the best person to answer this, but here goes....
MY wife and I started having the same problem after about 8 years. After about 9, I discovered that she had been lying to me about a lot of things - all related to other guys. As it stands now...our marriage is over and I'm seeing a counselor to help cope with it. My sounselor told me that when sex stops, it's usually a sure sign that there are problems in the relationship.

Me and my GF have been going out for a little over 3 years now. I am currently 20 and she is 19. The first year, maybe year and a half, she was horny as could be. I could count her wanting to have sex pretty much anytime we were together. If we werent going to see eachother, then she would just take care of it herself. Anyway, since then, her sex drive has shrunk dremendously. She is probably in the mood once every two months now. Maybe once a month if I'm lucky. I do love her, so I am sticking with it, but damn is it killing me. We have talked about it, and she doesnt know what is wrong either. She is very open about masturbation, and she admits that it has been months since she has even done that. (Compared to the few times a week she did it just a year or two ago.) We both have two more years of college left, and I would want to marry her if we are still together after we are both done. I dont want to base my decision on sex, because she means so much more than that to me. But I cant help but ask myself, what if it is like this after we get married?? I have tried everything I can think of. I tell her all the time how great she looks. I try not to pressure her for sex, I want her to want it too. (If she tells me she's not in the mood I respect her decision)

Anyway, I would appreciate any advice you could give me. We are just poor college students so we cant afford any sex-therapists or anything. I don't want to not marry her just because of sex, because she means the world to me. Then again I dont want to have sex less than 7 times a year if I do get married. Ahh!! I'm open to suggestions, thanks!!

[goliath]

Update: Well, we talked about it. (Its not the first time, but we talked about it) I mentioned the fact that maybe she needed time apart or maybe just didn't need a relationship right now. She rapidly disagreed with me and expressed how much she loved me. She told me how much she really just wanted to be with me, and how she can't wait till we get married. But yet, still no urge whatsoever to have sex. Not just no sex, but absolutely no passion on a physical level whatsoever. I am seriously getting pissed off and confused. She continues to reinforce the fact that she loves me and DOES want to be with me, "for the rest of her life", but she has zero urge to express any of that love intimately. Not only that, but I can't remember the last time anything has happened between us without me asking for it. It used to just spontaneously happen, and it was great. Not anymore. It's predictable and it's usually because I ask her for it. Oh well, so goes my life.

Jesus bro - you sound JUST like me...

[NYCmitch25]

Focus your attention on her eslewhere and you'll see things change with time - women need more than sex - use the extra time on your hands to treat her like you did when you first met (without ANY hint of sexual conduct wanted) - you'll find that when you treat her the way she desires (absent from any alterior motives) her feelings will come back...

and if that doesnt work i can come over and get her all excited. :cockblock

seriously it maybe time to move on your 19, sex is a big part of a relationship dont fool yourself.

[Villa]

I just got out of a serious relationship (4 years) and toward the end of it my girlfriends sex drive was non-existent as well. I thought I knew everything about her and that she would never lie to me but found out I was wrong. She had been abusing cocaine and xanax for the last year behind my back and now is in rehab after a 2 week hospital stay....overdosed. Not saying your girlfriend is the same but sometimes love blinds you and you don't want to admit that there is a problem. You need to take a step back and really analyze the situation because you are only 19 and are still young. You will never get these years back so ask yourself if it is worth it. Again, not trying to bash her or you, just speaking from my experience. Good luck bro.

[The_Grinder]

Wow, this thread has really come alive again. Havent updated in a while. Over the last month or so things have gotten A LOT better. Not only are we having sex fairly often again, but it is better than it has been in a year or two. WOO HOO!! We started trying some new things, and experimenting with some different stuff. (I'll leave it to your imagination) I think we kind of just fell into too much of a routine, and that made it hard for her to really get excited about it like she used to. Anyway, I'll keep updating, but as of the last month or so, things are really good.