serious question

[1badMF]

Ok, me and my GF have been together for 4 years now. Lying has been the biggest problem in this relationship and has been causing arguments and fights like crazy. The lying is basically about going out behind each others backs and small stuff. We have never cheated on each other or anything like that. We recently broke up for about a month or more and got back together recently too. Things seem much more amazing now, sex seems more meaningful, we laugh and communicate more, and we spend more time with each other. In the past, we were a lot more independent, i would go my way and she would go hers, i would go with my friends and not tell her and not talk to here all night and she would do the same. It was a battle that lead to depression and sleepless nights. Now its different... We do things together now instead of doing things apart, we talk about problems or things that need changing instead of waiting a week or a month down the road to argue about a problem thats happened a while back. It's like pure love and I think about her every second of the day now and wish i could take back all the things i did wrong and make them right. But something just keep bugging me. I keep asking myself "are we actually getting better and not lying?"... I bring this up to her some times and she says she asks herself the same thing and we can actually talk about it unlike before when i would never tell her what was on my mind and ignore it. This may sound dumb but I'm actually a little gun shy about really getting deep with her and moving this relationship to the next level (proposing).. This might seem crazy and blown out of the water but I actually feel a lot better that we took this break. We really never took a break from each other until now and really never gave time to actually experience what it would be like without talking or seeing each other for a period of time. I think I might be asking myself the "What IF?" question too much about all the bad things that could happen and the bad things that did happen. I really do love her to death and she tells me how she feels about me and how she could never be with anyone else. The weird thing too is that, when we broke up, it seemed so easy and I felt sooo superior and it seemed like it would just blow off my shoulders. As time passed and the longer we went without communication, the harder it became for me to avoid her or not communicate with her. She tells me she feels the same way and I know she does because she would call me crying telling me "this doesn't feel right, i miss you soo much, do you love me? Are you thinking about me? Do you miss me?". And now I think we are more attached to each other than ever but is it natural or common to feel a little scared jumping back into a relationship with the same person you've been together with for a while? As far as lying, I tell her when I do go out and I actually invite her to go out with me now and vice versa. I'm not like I used to be and like "yeah baby, I'm just at my brothers watching a football game!", but really out with a group of my buddies tearing up the town you know? I dunno I just really care and love my girl but scared as hell to move forward.

[ROCKILLER]

Seems perfectly natural to me. How old are you? I recently started working on things with my girl of nearly 5 years. We were only apart around 4 months but we communicate much better now and although we are still working through all the problems that had built up, I feel like things will be much better. I could talk about it all day but the point is, keep working at it and take things slow. You seem to be on the right track, but you have only been on that track for a short time. Theres no reason to be feeling any pressure to jump into something more until you have spent some time in a healthy relationship.

[Mr I]

you sound pretty well suited and it looks as if your communicating well now. Also from your thread it sounded like you were taking yourself too seriousely before, not letting your guard down and trying to be one of the lads.

Sounds like you've grown up to me, so don't go to the dark side and start getting insecure about moving forward. You have somebody that you really care for and love, thats actually a very special thing and you should be proud to keep her informed of where your going and stuff so that she doesn't feel insecure and worried, a small price to pay!

[Mr I]

Fuck that was my 1001 post, what do I get?

* 50lb of whey? LOL

[Chadd77]

Fuck that was my 1001 post, what do I get?

* 50lb of whey? LOL

What do you get?? You get to share a romantic evening with Rado! Congrats!! :D

[Mr I]

What do you get?? You get to share a romantic evening with Rado! Congrats!! :D

LOL

[The_Grinder]

The lying this is no good. Better get that taken care of before marriage is even thought about. What exactly is the question??? Other than that, sounds like she is a good girl and she loves you....

[1badMF]

She is a wounderful girl. I'm not going to get into the whole thing but I've hurt her in the past and I still ask her the question, "why did you still stick with me?". I love her to death. Right now, I've recently got a new job with great benefits and yes, I was a little punk piece of shit when i meet her and pathetic piece of shit to even call myself a man. The hardest thing is looking back at the past and looking at all the trouble I've caused her. I give her respect, her parent respect, her parents actually love me to death and her dad went from wanting to shoot me to actually joke around with me like we are best friends. I've learned a lot from growing up. She has been with me through hell and I just want to give her the best I can. I had like no gentleman skills when we first meet and now I open doors for her, comfort her when she is in pain or sad, I'm there for her when she needs someone, I'm there to basically wash her back when she needs (seriously). I mean she is my world and I've been such a fucking asshole and just want to make it all up to her. She has all these fucking people she calls friends that just drink, party, smoke their fucking stupid shit everyday and I've been through all that. I tell her look baby, that shit is for the stupid losers. Look at them. They are pieces of shit and always talk shit about her behind her back. She is like a diamond caught in the middle of a bag of shit. This new years I want to make it better. I want to man up and show her what all those other pieces of shit cant bring to her that I can. Right now I'm ready to walk my happy ass out and kick the shit out of every ignorant sole that walks the earth. In case you guys haven't already read in past posts, I've had a little change in attitude and life. I'm tired of all this stupid shit people put their lives through. I'm tired of the weak and the stupid minded. This might sound crazy but I'm just tired of people taking advantage of others who are in need of guidance. This is my baby and my queen and ill be damned if anyone stands in between us.

[1badMF]

as far as the lying goes. We had a big talk recently. I let every little thing out I had held back that I didn't have the balls to tell her and what I actually thought and every little detail and you know.... She actually took it better than I thought and told me everything that was on her mind and shit. 2007 will be totally different and I don't care if I'm dying in the freezing rain with no food, as long as she is happy.