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Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
Movie nudity is virtually always female.
Monday Nite Football.
You don't have to monitor your friends sex lives.
Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight.
All our orgasms are real.
A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex
Guys in hockey masks don't attack you
You understand why 'Stripes' is funny
You can go to the bathroom with out a support group
When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you
Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow (well except for cory :D )
Sex means never worrying about your reputation
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend
The National College Cheerleading Championship
None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry
You can write your name in the snow
You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest
Chocolate is just another snack
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat
You can eat a banana in a hardware store
Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe
You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid (pay close attention to this one ladies) :p
You can watch a game in silence with you buddy for hours without even thinking. "He must be mad at me"
The world is your urinal
You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you
Hot wax never comes near your pubic area
You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.
You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too scary.
You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing.
Same work....more pay.
You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your back
With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory
If you retain water, it's in a canteen
ESPN's Sports Center
You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
Bachelor parties whomp ass over bridal showers.
You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked
Someday you'll be a dirty old man.
You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "F*#k it!"
If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies
You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because your not in the mood
Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind
Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.
Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So... notice anything different?"
Baywatch
There is always a game on somewhere.
AND MY FAVORITE
You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Movie nudity is virtually always female.
Monday Nite Football.
You don't have to monitor your friends sex lives.
Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight.
All our orgasms are real.
A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex
Guys in hockey masks don't attack you
You understand why 'Stripes' is funny
You can go to the bathroom with out a support group
When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you
Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow (well except for cory :D )
Sex means never worrying about your reputation
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend
The National College Cheerleading Championship
None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry
You can write your name in the snow
You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest
Chocolate is just another snack
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat
You can eat a banana in a hardware store
Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe
You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid (pay close attention to this one ladies) :p
You can watch a game in silence with you buddy for hours without even thinking. "He must be mad at me"
The world is your urinal
You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you
Hot wax never comes near your pubic area
You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.
You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too scary.
You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing.
Same work....more pay.
You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your back
With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory
If you retain water, it's in a canteen
ESPN's Sports Center
You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
Bachelor parties whomp ass over bridal showers.
You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked
Someday you'll be a dirty old man.
You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "F*#k it!"
If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies
You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because your not in the mood
Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind
Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.
Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So... notice anything different?"
Baywatch
There is always a game on somewhere.
AND MY FAVORITE
You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
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