So my girlfriend just called to tell me...

[The_Grinder]

Her parents are getting a divorce. :dunno: She's really broken up. Her parents would have been married for 25 years this summer. Damn I can't imagine how people can stay together so long and still end up splitting up. I never personally thought that her parents worked very well together, but it still sucks to hear my GF so upset.

To top it all off its gonna make it nice and akward when I decide to ask my GF's dad for her hand in marriage. :wacko:

[Timma]

Man that sucks. Going through a divorce is hard shit on everyone. I just went through one and it almost tore me and my family apart. Just be there for her and do all you can to help her out.

[redback]

so timma, what do you think of marrage now, would you marry again?

[FitnessBrat]

Sorry to hear - I'm sure she's very upset. Make sure you avoid taking "sides."

[The_Grinder]

Sorry to hear - I'm sure she's very upset. Make sure you avoid taking "sides."

Thats a very good point. I've had a tendency to do that in the past with her parents when they were arguing. I've made a point not to pass any judgements at all about this. I've just been trying to be there for her and listen to her without putting in too much input. I think thats what she needs.

Personally I dont really have a side to take. I never thought her parents worked well together so it might be for the best. But it is still tough on the family.

[WonderWoman]

so timma, what do you think of marrage now, would you marry again?

I too am curious to know... for all of you that have been married.. would you do it all over again?

sorry to hear Grinder.. make sure you are there to give all your support. Hope it all works out for your girl..

:)

[FitnessBrat]

Thats a very good point. I've had a tendency to do that in the past with her parents when they were arguing. I've made a point not to pass any judgements at all about this. I've just been trying to be there for her and listen to her without putting in too much input. I think thats what she needs.

Personally I dont really have a side to take. I never thought her parents worked well together so it might be for the best. But it is still tough on the family.

You don't have anything to gain by taking a side, but it's often very easy to make comments, etc when you think the other party is in the wrong. That's all I meant. An ear and your shoulder is all she needs.

[Timma]

so timma, what do you think of marrage now, would you marry again?

I think that I would, but time will tell.

The problem with my marriage was we had been together so long that it was just the thing to do. I thought that I knew her totally and that we'd be happy. It wasn't the case. Things changed after the wedding and she was gone alot more with her school work. For all I know she could have been having an affair and used the school as a cover. I was lonely and sick of her shit she would give me when she was around.

She thought I left her for someone else. I had become great friends with a girl we both knew and it was nothing more than a friendship. Yes now we are dating but it was a while after I left.

Right now dating is what I like. Eventually living with someone will be nice but no rush to get married.

[redback]

I know what you mean by "the thing to do" like its a routine, a habit. Me and my girl of 7 years split recently, its not much fun. She thought i was seeing someone too, and im with that girl now. I never cheated in 7 years tho. Funny part is im still living with my ex.

[FitnessBrat]

Both of you guys said "she thought I was with someone else, and I'm with that person now" -- so obviously these women weren't "seeing things" by *assuming* you had already "left" the relationship. Correct?

[The_Grinder]

Both of you guys said "she thought I was with someone else, and I'm with that person now" -- so obviously these women weren't "seeing things" by *assuming* you had already "left" the relationship. Correct?

Good point.


Anyway, some more development in my girl's parents' case. Its starting to look like (through putting some things together), that her dad is leaving her mom because of another woman). That's tougher to handle for the family IMO.

[redback]

Both of you guys said "she thought I was with someone else, and I'm with that person now" -- so obviously these women weren't "seeing things" by *assuming* you had already "left" the relationship. Correct?

but she made the break based on an asumption. It wasnt just that tho it was alot of stuff leading up to that. For the last 6 months we wernt even sleeping in the same bed. I started another friendship and that was the final straw for her. Nothing ever happened until after we split. Im not even gona start because there is so much more to the story...

[redback]

sorry to jack your thread grinder

[FitnessBrat]

but she made the break based on an asumption. It wasnt just that tho it was alot of stuff leading up to that. For the last 6 months we wernt even sleeping in the same bed. I started another friendship and that was the final straw for her. Nothing ever happened until after we split. Im not even gona start because there is so much more to the story...

I think you missed my point - but that's okay. I wasn't asking that you defend your actions by any means.

[Timma]

Both of you guys said "she thought I was with someone else, and I'm with that person now" -- so obviously these women weren't "seeing things" by *assuming* you had already "left" the relationship. Correct?

No I had left the relationship long before. Things had been rocky with us starting not long after the wedding. I had gone on depression medication due to our relationship and things just got worse. My current gf had not come into the picture until well after things went sour.