thoughts

[bigscott]

alright this is going to come off as very selfish lets get that out of the way right off :)

first - i love my wife more then anything she is my one true friend in life and i will fight and die for her and my family !! thats from my heart !

now to my problem -

my wife has been putting on weight ! we have been through this before and almost split apart reason being [ here comes the selfish part ]

i do not like fat women not now not ever !! i dont find anything remotely attractive about fat women -

i myself am a very brutually honest person . in the past i have come right out and told her she needs to lose weight :hang: yup not best tatic !!! my wife is a beautiful women that has had 3 kids 2 mine and one some asshole that doesnt deserve the father moniker !

so i understand the weight gain and difficulty losing it - she trained with me i got her a diet and we worked to get her back in good shape -

now to present time !

she has been promoted to superviser in her field of work so with that she has different hours - she works nights getting use to that is taking some time -

mean while her eating habits have gone to shit - she makes it to the gym once in a while - sooooo in short she is getting fucking fat !! which i dont find attractive which brings me to the point of this whole thread -

sex !! i have had sex with her once in the last 2 months and then i had a hard time getting hard which hurt her feelings - i blamed it on the shit i take so that made her feel better -

have to have lights off which i hate and it still doesnt help because i can still visual it - so instead of just telling her like i have in the past -[ turning over a new leaf here] that she needs to drop 30 fucking pounds i just blame myself and the gear i use for lack of drive - hell both terms she carried my girls i wouldnt touch her

dont get me wrong i love my wife more then anything - i looked at the grass on the other side of the fence not long ago and found nothing but shit under it !! and would never be an option anyway !!!

so in short - i dont know what the fuck to do or say without hurting her feelings and this turning into a big fucking mess - she hates the weight !! she knows i dont like it ! she doesnt feel good about how she looks i hear it all the time from her . i refrain myself from adding in my comments which is a fucking miracle

just wish she would do something about it instead of talking about it

got that off my chest

hope i am not being to selfish but its how i feel

[FitnessBrat]

I understand where you're coming from, and I'm a woman that's had 2 children. It isn't an excuse though. Maybe if your child(ren) were newborn, but I know yours are not.

The one thing women always say is to be supportive of them. So you already know NOT to make those comments you feel, that's going to make her feel worse. Is there a time you can train together? How about walks in the evenings? What about the diet - do you guys not eat the same things? Who is buying the "crap" she's eating? I know it's tough, but obviously if something doesn't change, your relationship is going to. Maybe you could approach it as a need for the family to get healthier?

[bigscott]

was hoping you would chime in FB !!

we can train together everyday but she just seems to come up with excuses as of late . i dont push her because as i have learned it doesnt help .

she buys the junk - then the classic i shouldnt be eating this pops out ! wtf

i start diet in the spring so my thinking at this point is to get her to diet with me so we are on the same page at the gym and at home -

so FB if you were my wife and i just slid in during a convo - listen babe since i start diet soon why dont you do it with me so we can continue to be on the same level food and training wise -

hows that sound ? not bad or bad ? would you take offense and feel that i was saying your fat ?

as i diet and start coming into show shape i will be more critical of her weight . i already know this .

thanks for chiming in FB :kiss:

[Bouncer]

Listen to FB, she would be much better then me to help with this.

I dont know if this is right or wrong but maybe you could approach it as a "health thing". say something like you are worried about her health and would love for her to maybe clean up the diet and do cardio etc..

she dosent even have to go to the gym. cardio and diet is all it takes.

[FitnessBrat]

was hoping you would chime in FB !!

we can train together everyday but she just seems to come up with excuses as of late . i dont push her because as i have learned it doesnt help .

she buys the junk - then the classic i shouldnt be eating this pops out ! wtf

i start diet in the spring so my thinking at this point is to get her to diet with me so we are on the same page at the gym and at home -

so FB if you were my wife and i just slid in during a convo - listen babe since i start diet soon why dont you do it with me so we can continue to be on the same level food and training wise -

hows that sound ? not bad or bad ? would you take offense and feel that i was saying your fat ?

as i diet and start coming into show shape i will be more critical of her weight . i already know this .

thanks for chiming in FB :kiss:

Maybe I'm different, but if my other half was in such fabulous shape, it would be hard for me to not be at least in the same "lifestyle" - so that part is hard for me to understand (why she wouldn't want to train with you, etc). For that part, I'd say continue to ask/offer, even when she has an excuse. If it's a valid excuse, then just say "okay, maybe tomorrow then." I KNOW that gets old, but hey, you have do whatever may work and maybe she'll get tired of hearing HERSELF make excuses.

As far as when you start dieting - I think that's a perfect opportunity to mention her dieting as well. Not only will it help her, it will support you (no junk in the house, etc). I would not feel like you were saying I was fat if you went about it like that. Again, just making it about being healthier in general.

I know exactly how you feel, and I personally don't think you're "wrong." When I was with FH, he was always in tip-top shape - I mean to the extreme. Now I look at other people like "ummm...really?" lol. Part of a relationship is attraction - physical included, so it's only natural.

[bigscott]

Maybe I'm different, but if my other half was in such fabulous shape, it would be hard for me to not be at least in the same "lifestyle" - so that part is hard for me to understand (why she wouldn't want to train with you, etc). For that part, I'd say continue to ask/offer, even when she has an excuse. If it's a valid excuse, then just say "okay, maybe tomorrow then." I KNOW that gets old, but hey, you have do whatever may work and maybe she'll get tired of hearing HERSELF make excuses.

As far as when you start dieting - I think that's a perfect opportunity to mention her dieting as well. Not only will it help her, it will support you (no junk in the house, etc). I would not feel like you were saying I was fat if you went about it like that. Again, just making it about being healthier in general.

I know exactly how you feel, and I personally don't think you're "wrong." When I was with FH, he was always in tip-top shape - I mean to the extreme. Now I look at other people like "ummm...really?" lol. Part of a relationship is attraction - physical included, so it's only natural.

FB , if i wasnt married i would marry you :) - thank you for your advice

[FitnessBrat]

FB , if i wasnt married i would marry you :) - thank you for your advice

:inlove:

[Bouncer]

FB , if i wasnt married i would marry you :) - thank you for your advice

psst, her ass is fat.. you dont like that. :ghey:

[bigscott]

psst, her ass is fat.. you dont like that. :ghey:

:rofl:

[FitnessBrat]

psst, her ass is fat.. you dont like that. :ghey:

I think the consensus is that guys like juicy booty's :P

[bigscott]

that would be me !! i love a phat ass just not a fat ass :D

[bigscott]

FB -

i told her how i felt :hang: - she took it alot better then i thought she would and agreed to get her ass back on track -

going to set up a schedule and diet for her :)-

she said she figured thats why we went from sex all the time to sex none of the time :)

we were talking and during the conversation i felt i had an opening to get out how i felt . i am not shy so i spoke my mind she took offense at first but then agreed -

so its a good start :)

thanks for your help sweetie !! much luv :smooch:

[iceman1800]

maybe take it a step further. Is she working more hours now she has that promotion? Maybe instead of just planning her diet, make her meals for her? I make mine the night before for work and keep them in gladware containers. Do the same for her. It also wouldn't be a bad idea for her to get her iron levels checked

[FitnessBrat]

FB -

i told her how i felt :hang: - she took it alot better then i thought she would and agreed to get her ass back on track -

going to set up a schedule and diet for her :)-

she said she figured thats why we went from sex all the time to sex none of the time :)

we were talking and during the conversation i felt i had an opening to get out how i felt . i am not shy so i spoke my mind she took offense at first but then agreed -

so its a good start :)

thanks for your help sweetie !! much luv :smooch:

Awesome! I'm so glad to hear that. Now you don't even have to wait all the way until spring. Now just make sure you stay positive and supportive!

[bigscott]

Awesome! I'm so glad to hear that. Now you don't even have to wait all the way until spring. Now just make sure you stay positive and supportive!

i will do best i can -- i can be sort of impatient :D

thank you babe :)