Tweet
> Quick History Lesson
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> For those that don't know about history. Here is a condensed version:
>
> Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic
> hunters/gatherers They lived on deer in the mountains during the
> summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the
> winter.
>
> The two most important events in all of history were the invention of
> beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man
> to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and
> together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two
> distinct
> subgroups:
>
> 1. Liberals, and
> 2. Conservatives.
>
> Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning
> of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can was invented
> yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them
> to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery.
> That's how villages were formed.
>
> Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at
> night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is
> known as the Conservative movement.
>
> Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live
> off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing
> the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the
> Liberal movement.
>
> Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women.
> The rest became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal
> achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group
> therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide
> how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.
>
> Over the years conservatives
> came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on
> earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.
>
> Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer
> white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their
> beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food is standard liberal fare.
> Another interesting evolutionary side note: most liberal women have
> higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers,
> personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and
> group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter
> rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.
>
> Conservatives drink domestic beer, mostly Bud. They eat red meat and
> still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters,
> rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical
> doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, members of
> the military, airline pilots and generally anyone who works
> productively.
> Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to
> work for a living.
>
> Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers
> and decide what to do with the production.
> Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That
> is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were
> coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and
> created a business of trying to get more for nothing.
>
> Here ends today's lesson in world history:
>
> It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily
> respond to the above before forwarding it.
>
> A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute
> truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other
> true believers and to more liberals just to tick them off.
>
> And there you have it. Let
> your next action reveal your
> position.
>
>
> Add a Conservative thought
> as this note is passed along:
> 1. A liberal always apologizes to the
> world for the great things Conservatives have done to advance freedom
> and responsiblilty. This is because Liberals are not capable of doing
> great things or being responsible, but instead whine and lie.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> For those that don't know about history. Here is a condensed version:
>
> Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic
> hunters/gatherers They lived on deer in the mountains during the
> summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the
> winter.
>
> The two most important events in all of history were the invention of
> beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man
> to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and
> together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two
> distinct
> subgroups:
>
> 1. Liberals, and
> 2. Conservatives.
>
> Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning
> of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can was invented
> yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them
> to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery.
> That's how villages were formed.
>
> Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at
> night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is
> known as the Conservative movement.
>
> Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live
> off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing
> the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the
> Liberal movement.
>
> Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women.
> The rest became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal
> achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group
> therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide
> how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.
>
> Over the years conservatives
> came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on
> earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.
>
> Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer
> white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their
> beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food is standard liberal fare.
> Another interesting evolutionary side note: most liberal women have
> higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers,
> personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and
> group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter
> rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.
>
> Conservatives drink domestic beer, mostly Bud. They eat red meat and
> still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters,
> rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical
> doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, members of
> the military, airline pilots and generally anyone who works
> productively.
> Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to
> work for a living.
>
> Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers
> and decide what to do with the production.
> Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That
> is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were
> coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and
> created a business of trying to get more for nothing.
>
> Here ends today's lesson in world history:
>
> It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily
> respond to the above before forwarding it.
>
> A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute
> truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other
> true believers and to more liberals just to tick them off.
>
> And there you have it. Let
> your next action reveal your
> position.
>
>
> Add a Conservative thought
> as this note is passed along:
> 1. A liberal always apologizes to the
> world for the great things Conservatives have done to advance freedom
> and responsiblilty. This is because Liberals are not capable of doing
> great things or being responsible, but instead whine and lie.
>
Comment