Checking in

[the art of war]

I have 3 weeks left on my methadome taper and then I have a 2 month suboxen outpatient detox (much much less dope sickness and so much easier on my colon/stomach). After this summer it will be the first time in years now that I will be able to leave my own house for more than a day without any ties to the drugs, I can't tell you what that freedom feels like but I will never lose it again, ever.

[Turbo3000]

I have 3 weeks left on my methadome taper and then I have a 2 month suboxen outpatient detox (much much less dope sickness and so much easier on my colon/stomach). After this summer it will be the first time in years now that I will be able to leave my own house for more than a day without any ties to the drugs, I can't tell you what that freedom feels like but I will never lose it again, ever.

Good to hear man. I see so many people get stuck on the methadone taper, they start using it for rec purposes and/or selling it. I wish you the best. Stick around here.

[the art of war]

For those that give 2, I got down to 30mg and kicked it cold the last 7 days I've been w/d bad but its the best experience. I don't want to get to graphic because their are other boards for this type of shit, but long in short I never could grow up, regain any control on my life, I started narcs @ 11 cuz of a neighbor and his availability. I'm 23 and I find myself feeling like dog shit 24/7 (domes take about 2 weeks to really get out of you physically most people find) but I'm happier and more productive than ever. Plus I haven't shed a tear in the past decade and now everything hits so fucking hard... being numb really fucked me emotionally.

[Bouncer]

For those that give 2, I got down to 30mg and kicked it cold the last 7 days I've been w/d bad but its the best experience. I don't want to get to graphic because their are other boards for this type of shit, but long in short I never could grow up, regain any control on my life, I started narcs @ 11 cuz of a neighbor and his availability. I'm 23 and I find myself feeling like dog shit 24/7 (domes take about 2 weeks to really get out of you physically most people find) but I'm happier and more productive than ever. Plus I haven't shed a tear in the past decade and now everything hits so fucking hard... being numb really fucked me emotionally.

just remember not to harp on shit for to long. don't let the past dictate your future bro. head up, goals in mind, and chase them. nothing else exist. learn form the mistakes of your past, turn it into a strength and never turn around again.

[the art of war]

just remember not to harp on shit for to long. don't let the past dictate your future bro. head up, goals in mind, and chase them. nothing else exist. learn form the mistakes of your past, turn it into a strength and never turn around again.

If you know a lil bout opiate w/d esp methadome, it really does trap you like any addiction. I honestly feel like I know myself for the first time in a multitude of areas while feeling shittty as fuck physically (last night I had to take ambien but even then the RLS that kicks in in the final physical side of the w/d's killed me). I like it this way though, everyday is a challenge whereas in the past it was a waste. I can't explain it any simpler: a) very young when I started drugs. b) everyone at some point has their eyes opened. For me it's taken what seems like forever but atleast I have peace with myself for who I am and what I'm doing now.

[Bouncer]

If you know a lil bout opiate w/d esp methadome, it really does trap you like any addiction. I honestly feel like I know myself for the first time in a multitude of areas while feeling shittty as fuck physically (last night I had to take ambien but even then the RLS that kicks in in the final physical side of the w/d's killed me). I like it this way though, everyday is a challenge whereas in the past it was a waste. I can't explain it any simpler: a) very young when I started drugs. b) everyone at some point has their eyes opened. For me it's taken what seems like forever but atleast I have peace with myself for who I am and what I'm doing now.

my point is, people have a tendency to live in the past. everything people do is limited by what they failed at in the past. i understand everyone has there own story and problems, everyone is different. but that doesn't change the fact of how you should view the world and how you should go after your goals.

[the art of war]

My goal is clear: marines, I talk to my recruiter weekly ... I've lost 26lbs clean in the last 2 months (I know that sounds drastic but when you are over your bodys comfort zone due to lots and lots of psych meds that add massive amounts of weight for some reason) if you just stay ketogenic (sp) fat melts n the muscle retains decently I've found... I certainly have no strength atm lol but I've never been in better cardio shape (which is very pathetic). The gym and music are the one thing that have kept me afloat these past 7 days. My only goal is never to waste another day, and like you said always goals first.

[Shibby]

Remember when the stress gets high, take a moment to collect yourself and when you start craving a release go find something to do so you aren't sitting there thinking about it.

[FitnessBrat]

For those that give 2, I got down to 30mg and kicked it cold the last 7 days I've been w/d bad but its the best experience. I don't want to get to graphic because their are other boards for this type of shit, but long in short I never could grow up, regain any control on my life, I started narcs @ 11 cuz of a neighbor and his availability. I'm 23 and I find myself feeling like dog shit 24/7 (domes take about 2 weeks to really get out of you physically most people find) but I'm happier and more productive than ever. Plus I haven't shed a tear in the past decade and now everything hits so fucking hard... being numb really fucked me emotionally.

There are many plenty of people that "give 2" - after being on this board the last 6 years, I can honestly say I care about the well-being of its members.

So you're not taking the Suboxen? My brother was using rec drugs and used dxm heavily - really f'd him up. He was on psych drugs like Klonipin, etc forever. When he came off to join the Air Force, he said the exact same thing - they have kept him emotionally numb for years.

I'm SO glad to hear how well you're doing. I know it's a long, tough road and very physically/emotionally demanding. Hang in there, sounds like you're doing amazing for yourself!

You better not go disappearing on us again, either!

[Mr I]

I remember Muggsy, good to hear things are looking up for ya

[the art of war]

There are many plenty of people that "give 2" - after being on this board the last 6 years, I can honestly say I care about the well-being of its members.

So you're not taking the Suboxen? My brother was using rec drugs and used dxm heavily - really f'd him up. He was on psych drugs like Klonipin, etc forever. When he came off to join the Air Force, he said the exact same thing - they have kept him emotionally numb for years.

I'm SO glad to hear how well you're doing. I know it's a long, tough road and very physically/emotionally demanding. Hang in there, sounds like you're doing amazing for yourself!

You better not go disappearing on us again, either!

I'm glad you brought up the Sub (bupe)... the last 3 nights have been a living nightmare ... my worst symptom is the RLS that comes at the latter stages of withdrawals. I have (unfortunately) access to any drug just about narc wise and subutex and suboxen are both around, I used subs for about a half year prior to methadome but I just kept selling 3/4s of my script buying more dope and just have enough to never be sick. I guess its just catching up to me how serious this shit is... I felt pretty in control but when I woke up this morning and the RLS was still going pins and needles I wanted to chainsaw my legs off. I honestly swore I would not use subs at all even though its an easy detox imo but that was the point for me. I was cocky, I am sticking with what I swore to myself but I hate every minute this shit continues. I have a docs appointment tuesday and we will see how things are then but my resolve will not change. As for psych meds I could've mal practiced about 3 people but honestly I fucked over enough people because of my own habbit // lifestyle I'd rather just put the shit behind and move on. I just wish it was more mental and less physical at this point.

[Bouncer]

I just wish it was more mental and less physical at this point.

the mental shit definitely leads to the physical. the stress etc.. make the physical 1000x's worse.

[the art of war]

the mental shit definitely leads to the physical. the stress etc.. make the physical 1000x's worse.

days 1-5 felt totally physical as far as the negative, mentally I felt great honestly. The RLS was totally new to me so I think it has me shocked like you are saying.. 3 days straight of one symptom out of around 10 is not normal even on a long acting opiate like methadome. Just caught with my pants down.. gotta regroup and keep busy.

[caged]

glad your doing good.. m/done w/d's can last months...and please stay away form the subs.
i know a person at work that made a transition for m/done to subs at 30 mgs of done and started at 16 mgs of suboxone. he has tapered all the way to 1 mg of and still cant get off that shit. the shit is worse then done.keep up what c-ya doing.

[the art of war]

yeah ... like I said subs are just like handing me a brick everyweek and saying hit the corner honestly. It offers me a free chance to get away w/using and not getting sick and you can make serious bank off them.... aside from that I really did want to experience this for what it is... everyone I know says the RLS is what makes them flip back around on all that they worked for so I am going to stay put and try to appreciate that I will never go through this again, try to salvage what I can learn and move the fuck on.