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The biblical story of the never ending bowl of creamed corn, as told by Auri...

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  • The biblical story of the never ending bowl of creamed corn, as told by Auri...

    Like a golden magical bowl that you eat creamed corn from? And the magic is that the creamed corn never runs out - kind of like that story from the bible, where Moses was walking around his flock of people, encouraging them to farm and make their own sustenance, but they were all lazy as hell, and they demanded some creamed corn. Now Moses was no farmer - but he knew the arid wasteland they were in, with the lush palm trees, hidden springs and streams, could never support corn fields. So because Moses was so wise, he climbed Mount Vesuvius, and called upon God to deliver unto him a vessel with never ending creamed corn. Now God was busy punished infidels back then, so the first couple of attempts, he gave Moses a boat, and then an arc. Moses got a good laugh out of that though - God's always such a goofball. Anyway, finally Moses brought down from the Mount, the golden bowl of unending creamed corn - but he also brought down a lot of ash and lava. He was able to part the lava and ash - because he had that parting thing going on - but the lazy slobs below had no chance. And Moses ate the creamed corn, and wish he had a biscuit, or even some corn bread - but then he laughed because he was insane. And while he laughed the cream corn sloshed around in the bowl, and Moses spilled some on him robe thing - which really pissered him off good. He was always such a priss.

    And so the tale of the golden bowl was born. Or made. Whatever.

  • #2
    hmmmm

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    • #3
      It's all in the bible bro - chapter 12, below the part where Nancy Drew solves the mystery of the light in the closet. Which was never really good - because it was just a light bulb. She was no Kojak - but maybe she liked lollipops too. Who can say?

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      • #4
        This thread was split from the sugar-free Reeses peanutbutter cup thread...leave it to Auri!
        Last edited by Puddles; 10-11-03, 07:16 AM.

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        • #5
          Sorry Mrs. P - I was in a bad place when I wrote that.

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          • #6
            I like you in bad places.

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            • #7
              Oh, I was at work I meant.

              I like you Mrs. P - mostly physically. But, I'm just that way.

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              • #8
                Just go back to work...you do a good job there. In the meantime, I'm stealing your ice-cream cone for a few licks. :p

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                • #9
                  auri, you never cease to amaze me with your knowledge and wisdom. i had forgotten about that story my bible school teacher used to tell me when i was a wee lad. i finally get it. the moral is:

                  dont climb an active volcano to get food from the almighty for a bunch of lazy slobs while out of your mind if you dont want them all to die in a pyrolava flow of huge size after parting it and accidentally sending it twords your lazy friends.

                  it is crystal clear now my whole life has meaning again!

                  thank you AURI!

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                  • #10
                    I must not own that bible!

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                    • #11
                      I owm a huge catholic bible

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                      • #12
                        wow haha

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                        • #13
                          holy moly

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                          • #14
                            did he ever get any cornbread

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                            • #15
                              Mmmmmm...cornbread!!!

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