arranged marriages. thoughts?

[mofo]

so i was watching an episode of Fox's Royal Pains and the female physician's assistant went through with an engagement to a man her parents had arranged for her to marry. this just sparked some thoughts.

first of, my parents attempted to get me "pre-engaged" for a first cousin at the age of 17. my mother decided even though i had said no, i actually meant yes. so she gave this cousin my cell number and email address. after arguing and "standing up" for myself, it is a situation that will never arise again.

a few of my older, middle eastern friends have gone through with arranged marriages and a majority of them are happy. some of them had an "semi-arranged" marriage which is where the parents pre-approve the guy and allow the couple to "date" before they make a final decision.

i am just wondering what and how people that aren't middle eastern feel about this.

for the record, i'm against it. i think that both men and women should have the right to date and find someone they feel compatible with. most middle eastern parents marry their children for their own reputation, not their child's happiness.

[FitnessBrat]

I think it's ludicrous and a terrible decision.

[NewbieChris]

Well, I think Americans have a twisted sense of what marriage is. Somehow people are under the impression that marriage is complete and total lust, without work. So many people marry hot/beautiful people and are only in it for the attraction. They're fucked IMO. Then there are the ones that think the first bump is the sign that everything is wrong. Its really, IMO, about finding your best friend. I've said this before, I would marry my best friend if he were a chick.

You can fight with them, but the good always outweighs the bad. So, in a sense, if you get to know the person and they are not a total dick I have no problem with it. I think that given the same societal influences you and an arranged spouse may have similar attitudes and that could lead to compatibility. I don't think it will ever work for Americans, but I think in other countries it may still have a place.

All and all an interesting test of human nature IMO.

[Bouncer]

Well, I think Americans have a twisted sense of what marriage is. Somehow people are under the impression that marriage is complete and total lust, without work. So many people marry hot/beautiful people and are only in it for the attraction. They're fucked IMO. Then there are the ones that think the first bump is the sign that everything is wrong. Its really, IMO, about finding your best friend. I've said this before, I would marry my best friend if he were a chick.

You can fight with them, but the good always outweighs the bad. So, in a sense, if you get to know the person and they are not a total dick I have no problem with it. I think that given the same societal influences you and an arranged spouse may have similar attitudes and that could lead to compatibility. I don't think it will ever work for Americans, but I think in other countries it may still have a place.

All and all an interesting test of human nature IMO.

i dont give a shit how you want to twist it. someone else picking your partner for you is fucken shit.

[FitnessBrat]

i dont give a shit how you want to twist it. someone else picking your partner for you is fucken shit.

Exactly. :agreed:

[mofo]

Its really, IMO, about finding your best friend. I've said this before, I would marry my best friend if he were a chick.

my parents had an arranged marriage. they didn't even see each other until their wedding day. they argue like no other. sometimes i feel as though they would be better off divorced. they have no common interests other than me and my siblings.

for any personal relationship to work, there has to be a sense of amicability. the closer the relationship, the more you need honesty and respect. my parents have an excuse to this. they say "if you start off with a clean slate with someone, honest and respect grows." i say BULLSHIT.

my parents say i'm "white-washed". i just say i have common sense.

[Bouncer]

my parents say i'm "white-washed".

tell your parents i said at least you are washed. unlike the rest of those dirty paki fucks. :retard:

[mofo]

tell your parents i said at least you are washed. unlike the rest of those dirty paki fucks. :retard:

right. i'll tell my parents that the dude that runs this forum that i'm a member of said that i'm cleaner than "paki fucks". then they'd take away my computer and cell phone and tell me that i need to stop talking to boys.

[Bouncer]

right. i'll tell my parents that the dude that runs this forum that i'm a member of said that i'm cleaner than "paki fucks". then they'd take away my computer and cell phone and tell me that i need to stop talking to boys.

they can have a cinder block chained to their ankle at the bottom of the Hudson for a small fee. before i through them off the bridge i say welcome to new jersey!

[Mr I]

Its just a way for women to be supressed and is borderline blasphemy IMO.

[Shibby]

Well, I think Americans have a twisted sense of what marriage is. Somehow people are under the impression that marriage is complete and total lust, without work. So many people marry hot/beautiful people and are only in it for the attraction. They're fucked IMO. Then there are the ones that think the first bump is the sign that everything is wrong. Its really, IMO, about finding your best friend. I've said this before, I would marry my best friend if he were a chick.

You can fight with them, but the good always outweighs the bad. So, in a sense, if you get to know the person and they are not a total dick I have no problem with it. I think that given the same societal influences you and an arranged spouse may have similar attitudes and that could lead to compatibility. I don't think it will ever work for Americans, but I think in other countries it may still have a place.

All and all an interesting test of human nature IMO.

People think marriage comes from a cultural cookie cutter. Whether it's an arranged marriage, marriage because of pregnancy or following some predetermined "rules" :shibby:

If you don't do it your (the couple) way, it won't work. It's hard enough to have two personalities to mesh. Add in other outside variables that you are forced to follow and it's going to fail before it starts.

[Mr I]

People think marriage comes from cultural cookie cutter. Whether it's an arranged marriage, marriage because of pregnancy or following some predetermined "rules" :shibby:

If you don't do it your (the couple) way, it won't work. It's hard enough to have two personalities to mesh. Add in other outside variables that you are forced to follow and it's going to fail before it starts.

one or both people forced into marriage = abuse from the beginning which will prolly get worse:noo:

[mofo]

one or both people forced into marriage = abuse from the beginning which will prolly get worse:noo:

wow. never really thought of it that way.

[the art of war]

I don't care if it's the hottest chick in the world - I wouldn't buy into any arranged marriage bullshit - BC logic being manipulated into religions/cultures today = fucking weak.

[Bouncer]

wow. never really thought of it that way.

you didnt? lol. that what crosses my mind immediately. its an abuse of everything.

i dont understand people like your parents. they obviously came to this country for a reason. but they say things like "you have been white washed" and they want to continue doing everything the same they did back in pakishit. why the fuck didnt they stay there if they liked it so much? for fuck sake, is it so hard to understand that those very same "traditions" they seem to love so much is part of the reason that country is a 4th world shit hole.