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Let me preface this by saying there is nothing greater than being a father and also I haven't returned a can for deposit in almost 15yrs. Here in Oregon, we pay a 5-cent deposit on every can, bottle, water bottle, vitamin water, etc. The idea behind this is to recycle the aluminum and plastic, therefore saving the environment and recycling for reuse. A few years ago I'm assuming, they stopped having the baggers come out and count your cans, give you a slip and then you go inside to redeem it for cash. NOW they have these FUCKING MACHINES that either kick out or shred more cans then they count, forcing you to go to the other machine that does one can or bottle at a time. Also, you have to divide the clear glass from the "colored" glass, WTF!!!!!!
My daughter is a senior this year and is on the dance team at her high school. She needs to raise $650 for the year, for dance competitions, etc. I have been coined the NAN-MAN, aka DANCE NANNY! I could simply pay the $650 myself, but I'm trying to have my daughter build character, have a sense of responsibility and honor about herself, consequently I'm involved in and coordinate fundraisers. I thought the car washes were a nice PITA (Pain in the Ass), but this fucking SODA POP and CHANGE drive is a MUTHA! Here's where it went all wrong, I posted on facebook what I planned on doing and offered to come pick up cans and pennies prior to the big SATURDAY FUNDRAISER. Welp, this is what happened, I ended up with nearly 4500 cans & bottles to process at one can at a time on two FUCKING MACHINES!!!!!!! Did you read that clearly, ONE CAN AT A TIME, with a 15% can/bottle kick out rate AND 2-3sec read/count/crush rate. Out of the 18 dancers, 2 of them showed up and 1 of those SUCKAS left early to hang out with a shit stain boy I'd like to break in half. So, there's me, unloading H2 load after H2 load and sticking ONE FUCKING CAN in at a time with my daughter using the other working machine. 3hrs into it, my daughter tells me, "Dad, I love you." on the 5th and final hour, the dance team coaches show up to tell me I'm "the greatest." On my face, I smiled and said, "ah shucks, it's nothing ladies...we do it for the kids." Inside, I was saying, "I'M GOING TO BURN THIS MUTHA FUCKA TO THE GROUND, WITH YALL IN IT!"
Lastly, I have another 1000-1500 cans that were delivered by a friend to help the girls. SO, that's a SHIT LOAD of total cans/bottles....OH almost forgot, I almost had to beat a bum's ass, asking me if I "seen his woman in Hollywood." After 5mins of his bullshit bantar, I told him, I was busy and didn't want to be rude, but I'm really not interest in talking and THEN he said something shitty to me...I turned my 6'4", 280lbs frame around and told him in my best CON-AIR voice, "This type of shit puts me in a foul mood!!! Do you understand?!?!?!?!" I blinked my eyes and he disappeared like Sonic the hedge hog...
In summary, OOOOOOOOOOOOOO, the fucking cans! I'll never look at them the same again.:D HAHAHAHHAA! I had to get that out...Thanks everyone ;)
My daughter is a senior this year and is on the dance team at her high school. She needs to raise $650 for the year, for dance competitions, etc. I have been coined the NAN-MAN, aka DANCE NANNY! I could simply pay the $650 myself, but I'm trying to have my daughter build character, have a sense of responsibility and honor about herself, consequently I'm involved in and coordinate fundraisers. I thought the car washes were a nice PITA (Pain in the Ass), but this fucking SODA POP and CHANGE drive is a MUTHA! Here's where it went all wrong, I posted on facebook what I planned on doing and offered to come pick up cans and pennies prior to the big SATURDAY FUNDRAISER. Welp, this is what happened, I ended up with nearly 4500 cans & bottles to process at one can at a time on two FUCKING MACHINES!!!!!!! Did you read that clearly, ONE CAN AT A TIME, with a 15% can/bottle kick out rate AND 2-3sec read/count/crush rate. Out of the 18 dancers, 2 of them showed up and 1 of those SUCKAS left early to hang out with a shit stain boy I'd like to break in half. So, there's me, unloading H2 load after H2 load and sticking ONE FUCKING CAN in at a time with my daughter using the other working machine. 3hrs into it, my daughter tells me, "Dad, I love you." on the 5th and final hour, the dance team coaches show up to tell me I'm "the greatest." On my face, I smiled and said, "ah shucks, it's nothing ladies...we do it for the kids." Inside, I was saying, "I'M GOING TO BURN THIS MUTHA FUCKA TO THE GROUND, WITH YALL IN IT!"
Lastly, I have another 1000-1500 cans that were delivered by a friend to help the girls. SO, that's a SHIT LOAD of total cans/bottles....OH almost forgot, I almost had to beat a bum's ass, asking me if I "seen his woman in Hollywood." After 5mins of his bullshit bantar, I told him, I was busy and didn't want to be rude, but I'm really not interest in talking and THEN he said something shitty to me...I turned my 6'4", 280lbs frame around and told him in my best CON-AIR voice, "This type of shit puts me in a foul mood!!! Do you understand?!?!?!?!" I blinked my eyes and he disappeared like Sonic the hedge hog...
In summary, OOOOOOOOOOOOOO, the fucking cans! I'll never look at them the same again.:D HAHAHAHHAA! I had to get that out...Thanks everyone ;)
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