Mate debate: Is monogamy realistic?

[Shibby]

Mate debate: Is monogamy realistic? - CNN.com

I find this story very interesting. We can have more than one favorite food, movie, sports team, child, pet... But we aren't allowed to have more than one significant other. I understand all the family dynamics and role relationships; how there could be some difficulty adjusting adding a third personality. I still find it interesting topic to ponder.

[the art of war]

I've typed out five different responses and I'm still not content, this one is so individual it's hard to even fathom it completely. I also haven't ever been married or in love.

[Shibby]

I've typed out five different responses and I'm still not content, this one is so individual it's hard to even fathom it completely. I also haven't ever been married or in love.

Think about it like this. You have a wife/serious girlfriend. You also have a good or best friend that is a woman. Except for not having sex with that best friend, you are in love with two different woman. Not one more than the other. Just different.

Same as a pets, siblings, or children. Which ever scenario fits into your life (having more than one), you love them all greatly and not one more than the other. Just different.

[the art of war]

Yeah, I'm grasping it, but I think the terms are much more serious with marriage or truly loving a spouse so it's hard for me to get past that. I can't imagine a scenario in my life where I would chose this as an option, but I've also been brought up with a concept of marriage that has been standard for our culture. It is very interesting to me - shib you're married - what are your thoughts ?

[Shibby]

Yeah, I'm grasping it, but I think the terms are much more serious with marriage or truly loving a spouse so it's hard for me to get past that. I can't imagine a scenario in my life where I would chose this as an option, but I've also been brought up with a concept of marriage that has been standard for our culture. It is very interesting to me - shib you're married - what are your thoughts ?

She likes women :D

[the art of war]

haha good shit :) - that's my sticking point bro, I love women so it's much easier to accept if I was with a girl and she did as well :hibb: but having another dude up in your s/o - no thx.

[Shibby]

Well everyone is different. I mean the "rules" are made by man so why can't each person adjust them to their lifestyle? For me and Magda marriage obviously isn't the same to me as the theistic view of it. It's easy for us to separate sex from love. So we don't have any worries other than what works for us. We haven't had to get that deep into a woman becoming a part of the family. But if the situation were to become a possibility, then we will worry about it then.

[Shibby]

On the point of sex separate from love; open relationships have become quite popular in this decade...

[the art of war]

yeah, I just fucked one of those up actually lol.

[FitnessBrat]

I think choosing one mate for the rest fo your life is sort of unrealiastic, but at the same time, most humans are far too jealous (and even selfish) to openly share their mate, and/or don't want to intentionally hurt them - hence the reason there is so much cheating, etc

[Bouncer]

On the point of sex separate from love; open relationships have become quite popular in this decade...

you and your wife are like swinger hippy types. thats good news for you. :retard:

[Shibby]

I think choosing one mate for the rest fo your life is sort of unrealiastic, but at the same time, most humans are far too jealous (and even selfish) to openly share their mate, and/or don't want to intentionally hurt them - hence the reason there is so much cheating, etc

You touch on a point in the article. The article talks about the continued increase of life expectancy. As many changes/stages we go through in life it can be difficult to grow together. Add to that the "idea" of what a marriage should be that is presented to us, leaves an unrealistic goal. It lives very little, if any, room for personal adaptation. It seem everyone is looking for "close enough" and then it turns into "not enough".

[Shibby]

you and your wife are like swinger hippy types. thats good news for you. :retard:

No. She is likes women. It's relatively new too her especially the "knowing" instead of the "thinking" part. It's been one woman and it was mostly to answer personal questions. Other than that she/we are not actively looking. If a woman comes along that might work though, we will give it a try. :hibb:

[Shibby]

I want to give one other talking point before heading to bed. Another nature vs nurture.

How many people do you know (including yourself) are not allowed to admit that someone else is attractive around a person you are intimate with? In the majority of society we are expected to suppress any natural feelings we have for a person and pretend like they don't exist.

Now think of the relationships you know where the partners of it speak mostly free about those feelings, but choose to respect and trust the care each have for the other, to control how they act on those feelings.

[mofo]

we will give it a try. :hibb:

she told me it was going to be a private event between the two of us (meaning me and her...)