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Political Joke

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  • Political Joke

    If a conservative doesn`t like guns, he doesn`t buy one.
    If a liberal doesn`t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

    If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn`t eat meat.
    If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

    If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy.
    A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.

    If a conservative is **********, he quietly leads his life.
    If a liberal is **********, he demands legislated respect.

    If a black man or Hispanic are conservative, they see themselves as independently successful.
    Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government protection.

    If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
    A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

    If a conservative doesn`t like a talk show host, he switches channels.
    Liberals demand that those they don`t like be shut down.

    If a conservative is a nonbeliever, he doesn`t go to church.
    A liberal nonbeliever wants any mention of God and religion silenced.
    (Unless it`s a foreign religion, of course!)

    If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for
    it, or may choose a job that provides it.
    A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.

    If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he gets up, laughs and is embarrassed.
    If a liberal slips and falls, he grabs his neck, moans like he`s in labor and then sues.

    A conservative sees nuclear power as a great option for America
    A Liberal sees nuclear power as a great option for EVERYONE but America

    If a conservative reads this, he`ll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
    A liberal will delete it because he`s "offended".

  • #2
    These are always so dumb (not you Konitz, just these jokes).

    Comment


    • #3
      why are they dumb ?

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by the art of war View Post
        why are they dumb ?
        Because they're geared towards making 'liberals' look like morons in stead of facing the actual issue at hand. They are exactly what makes strict republicans idiots.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by NewbieChris View Post
          Because they're geared towards making 'liberals' look like morons in stead of facing the actual issue at hand. They are exactly what makes strict republicans idiots.
          they're called jokes for a reason, bush looked like a monkey, we laughed. A lot of republicans are idiots - so it's funny to have a joke about it. A lot of liberals are as well - so have a joke about it. You make everything sound like it's bashing "gay bashing" making us "liberals" look like morons. Gonna have hypertension at that rate lol

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          • #6
            Originally posted by the art of war View Post
            they're called jokes for a reason, bush looked like a monkey, we laughed. A lot of republicans are idiots - so it's funny to have a joke about it. A lot of liberals are as well - so have a joke about it. You make everything sound like it's bashing "gay bashing" making us "liberals" look like morons. Gonna have hypertension at that rate lol
            Well first off, "us" liberals was never said. The point is that the jokes are stupid, not funny. A funny joke needs timing and placement. These aren't jokes. They aren't well thought out or relevant to a situation. These are simple minded, mean spirited ways to attack 'liberals'.

            :rolleyes:

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Shibby View Post
              These are always so dumb (not you Konitz, just these jokes).
              no, konitz too. :rofl:

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              • #8
                Originally posted by NewbieChris View Post
                Well first off, "us" liberals was never said. The point is that the jokes are stupid, not funny. A funny joke needs timing and placement. These aren't jokes. They aren't well thought out or relevant to a situation. These are simple minded, mean spirited ways to attack 'liberals'.

                :rolleyes:
                blah blah blah - it's not a history lecture , it's not great comedy, not even good comedy - but they aren't dumb. As for being mean spirited ways to "attack" liberals ... that's actually kinda funny. Phobia this attack that, all because people can't handle a different honest view. And I'm sure you are set that your view is right on these political angles that you so strongly feel the need to label others.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by the art of war View Post
                  all because people can't handle a different honest view. And I'm sure you are set that your view is right on these political angles that you so strongly feel the need to label others.
                  :rofl::rofl::rofl:

                  Now that was funny! Those aren't views. Views are better shaped and intelligently presented.

                  :rofl::rofl::rofl:

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                  • #10
                    dude do you know how to communicate with human beings ? You either hang out with dictionaries or you just have no clue how life works. Honestly trying to talk about anything with you is an IQ dropper, have to repeat everything because you just pick up little things that you can manipulate to make my point seem bullshit. Go on talk radio or some shit, I asked a question and you give me your typical rant with eyes rollin. If you gave me some logic without your lil online bitch attitude it would be nice to read a different side.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by the art of war View Post
                      dude do you know how to communicate with human beings ? You either hang out with dictionaries or you just have no clue how life works. Honestly trying to talk about anything with you is an IQ dropper, have to repeat everything because you just pick up little things that you can manipulate to make my point seem bullshit. Go on talk radio or some shit, I asked a question and you give me your typical rant with eyes rollin. If you gave me some logic without your lil online bitch attitude it would be nice to read a different side.
                      No, AOW, what was posted is not an opinion. An opinion is: the left democratic party of our country is slowly losing any aspect of what you would call "hard work and determination." This is shown through the way they support multiple social programs that are costing this country money and reward little to no work. They believe in a system that has several flaws.

                      See, the problem with statements like that is it can cause people to agree. People can agree that no one deserves to die because they can't afford medical insurance. Or that people believe in gun control because they believe that control of weapons can control violence (you may or may not agree with that).

                      As for your comments that the posts aren't comedy...jokes are comedy. The statements are stupid, they may be an opinion, but they are STUPID opinions. However, I feel this going NOWHERE....soooooo Im gonna stop.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by NewbieChris View Post
                        No, AOW, what was posted is not an opinion. An opinion is: the left democratic party of our country is slowly losing any aspect of what you would call "hard work and determination." This is shown through the way they support multiple social programs that are costing this country money and reward little to no work. They believe in a system that has several flaws.

                        See, the problem with statements like that is it can cause people to agree. People can agree that no one deserves to die because they can't afford medical insurance. Or that people believe in gun control because they believe that control of weapons can control violence (you may or may not agree with that).

                        As for your comments that the posts aren't comedy...jokes are comedy. The statements are stupid, they may be an opinion, but they are STUPID opinions. However, I feel this going NOWHERE....soooooo Im gonna stop.
                        "It can cause people to agree" - free will is a bitch, gotta deal with it tho. You saying something is a "stupid opinion". That is a large part of my problem. Honestly until you find a solution for the flaws in this country, and put them to work, either move or find a better way to voice your dream of change. I dunno if you are just like the type of person who is totally different online or whatever, but if you are remotely like this in person then you sure as shit won't have people listening to you unless they already agree with what you are saying. You won't change anyone's mind by being a shitty song on repeat. I doubt that you will even give this any thought but I am being serious, you talk about helping out, change, etc... you know your share of politics ... but that shit doesn't add up to anything once you are out of a classroom.

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                        • #13

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by THE BOUNCER View Post
                            no, konitz too. :rofl:
                            good one.:thumup:

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                            • #15
                              They are dumb because they are pot calling the kettle black, stereotyping and just political spin. This one for example

                              If a conservative is **********, he quietly leads his life.
                              If a liberal is **********, he demands legislated respect.
                              Conservative = I made society and want to keep it the way that is comfortable to me

                              Liberal = I want society to be comfortable for as many people as possible.

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