I have weird commitment probs

[the art of war]

Longest relationship I had was about 7-8 months - granted I'm 24 - but I am curious why I love , love , seeing a girl who I get infatuated with and doing anything to get her off her feet. But then within a matter of weeks I just cannot handle it - right around when questions become more serious etc... I'm guessing this is when my lack of maturity kicks in and I am just not ready (although I may well be) in my mind I just freeze up - end up just running from the relationship and finding yet another girl.

I don't dislike being with women - it's not that - but I want to be able to have people around me who I can love and treat well, take care of etc: So I guess I'm just curious how many if any have this problem and what were somesolutions.

[Shibby]

It's simple little boy. Your attraction is only physical and you aren't looking for emotional. Meeting someone that you hook up with right away only works out by random chance. The higher probability is when you find someone you like as a friend and it grows into a relationship.

[alwaysgrowing]

Did you forget to change your tampon today?? :)

In all serious bro, love/marriage is a feeling created by society. I don't see you as one who will follow the sheep. If it happens, it happens. Maybe you are like myself, in that a relationship is a conquest/control. Once I get what I want, it is over. I don't make connections with many. I even had a psych major girl call me a textbok sociopath. So cliche

But I am off on a tangent. Do you. Some people are not relationship people. I myself am not. Yes I hear all the time as you get older you will change. I am 28. IT has only gotten worse as I age. I am too selfish to give my life to someone else. Look inside you and decide if thats what you want. If it is, then meet a girl and get to know her. Keep sex out of it. Otherwise, keep slipping that little hot dog of yours in the ever slippery pink taco that doesn't mind some extra meat inside

[Shibby]

Stop being so fucking condescending...He's young and we were all there at one point...All he's doing is venting and wanting someone that listens to him...Not someone who's on this fucking high horse...seriously...

If you can't read that with sarcasm, then you have reached a new low of stupid :clapback:

[tkdbax]

Dont worry AOW, everyone has questions about whether or not they are ready for a relationship, I am 45 yrs old, been married for 24 years and there are days that I am not sure whether or not I'm cut out for a serious relationship........seriously, you are still young, plenty of life ahead of ya, dont put too much pressure on yourself to have a serious relationship, you could end up in a relationship, with children and THEN realize that you might not be cut out for the "family Life" yet.....take you time and live life to the fullest, especially while your still young

[the art of war]

It's simple little boy. Your attraction is only physical and you aren't looking for emotional. Meeting someone that you hook up with right away only works out by random chance. The higher probability is when you find someone you like as a friend and it grows into a relationship.

see bro the relationships i've been in have started out of friendships - some of 2-3 years - again girl i was best friends with in highschool for example , i dated her on and off for like 3 years - fucking neither one of us could hold our shit together in a relationship but we were great as friends.

look im not lonely but curious - I'm entirely too young to be frustrated by something like this really. I just don't see why I just cannot stay content and always find ways out lol, I'm always sneaking away and finding a way out of a relationship. It is what it is for now - alwaysgrowing - I always hear that also "you haven't found the right person, it will be different when you are older" - yeahhhh... that hasn't been the case, the older I get the more I question why but the more I continue to do the same ol same ol.

rado - thanks for a decent response bro, i appreciate that - it aint easy bein young n beautiful bahahaha :D :D

[the art of war]

Dont worry AOW, everyone has questions about whether or not they are ready for a relationship, I am 45 yrs old, been married for 24 years and there are days that I am not sure whether or not I'm cut out for a serious relationship........seriously, you are still young, plenty of life ahead of ya, dont put too much pressure on yourself to have a serious relationship, you could end up in a relationship, with children and THEN realize that you might not be cut out for the "family Life" yet.....take you time and live life to the fullest, especially while your still young

when I start to question my instincts kick in and say "get the fuck out now before anymore problems come your way" lol - so I just dunno brother - it is what it is and this is why I haven't had kid (well a few other things apply, but I've been in the spot and it was clear call).

[Shibby]

You're at that age where people are maturing in very different ways. Some is work commitment, some it's exploring the world, relationship/starting a family/party... If your goals for what you want right now are significantly different, then you will grow apart.

[the art of war]

I don't think the risk is worth the reward honestly - I mean inevitably shit falls apart - keeping it simple and just having a good time with it keeps you from getting burned , which while sounds selfish , lets face it women do the same shit and they want the dick as much as we chase that booty.

All this is said without having tasted the reward lol, so my view could be a tad biased :P

[Shibby]

You have to let go the fear of getting burned if you want someone to build a life with. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable and dependent on your partner is what it's about. That's also why break-up/divorce is so painful if the relationship was real.

For example, if for some reason my wife and I got divorced, I will have my kids. Reward is completely worth the risk. That said, I would never get married again. I wouldn't see the point. I may have a long-term girlfriend, but that would be as far as it goes.

[the art of war]

I feel having a long term girlfriend is only way I will go - I can't see marriage - just my hang ups on the statistics alone, why would I consider myself special.. look at divorce rates.. im not some prize of a human so why would my marriage be different, shits gonna happen.

Kids, man, I had that scare a couple times and that is the one thing I can see that would genuinely change my view on everything, it has too, you are no longer thinking for yourself but for your blood.

[Shibby]

Whether it's a marriage or life-term girlfriend, it's the same vulnerability.

[alwaysgrowing]

Whether it's a marriage or life-term girlfriend, it's the same vulnerability.

Emotionally yes. Financially no (unless you are dumb enough to live with her long enough for her to become common law wife)

I am against marriage (and children for that matter) for two main reasons, it is my money and my time. I don't want to share with anyone (excpet for a night or two)

I know that may come of as shallow and possibly irresponsible, but with my career goals, a relationship may do nothing but drag me down

[Shibby]

Emotionally yes. Financially no (unless you are dumb enough to live with her long enough for her to become common law wife)

I am against marriage (and children for that matter) for two main reasons, it is my money and my time. I don't want to share with anyone (excpet for a night or two)

I know that may come of as shallow and possibly irresponsible, but with my career goals, a relationship may do nothing but drag me down

I don't think it's shallow if you are a good person. You just know what you want and don't want. Now if someone had kids or whatever and kept all the money they could to themselves, that would be different.

[the art of war]

marriage is a def no no because of the divorce / lose what i got - and honestly if im gonna be with someone my word is what i got ot offer - not many women think that's enough , and I respect that - but it's my life the money i have I risked for and its not that much as is, im just trying to get by not have some divorce baby mama drama.