My bad

[the art of war]

For anyone who I offended (minus shib) but those who read and wondered what kind of wingnut I am - I appologize for the sake of the board.

Today I've found out my friend died last night, my mother has cancer, my best girl friend in college has vaginal cancer. Recently a large amount of money that I had saved for awhile was stolen from me - it was all I had - and it was my chance to hopefully be free from my life. I've found thhat since I don't use - people always look at me for money now - irefuse to enable, but now i have lost almost all my friends (literally). I'm very depressed manically , I have to watch myself tonight and will be on phone with trusted friends due to the fact I've attempted the bitch way out before and failed (yea thats how bad i suck at life in these moments, cuz I wanted out).

things are overwhelming me these days and there is a lot more that just isn't worth getting into it just keeps fucking going, the main point is the people mentioned. My mum , being divorced while going through this, I feel awful - my friend laura is horrified, shes so embarrassed even with a 98% success rate - who can blame her.

bottom line unless I can clear my head I'm gonna just lay low - I can't do shit right and I refuse to make things bad in anyway for the board. I hope that I can just stay calm and remain normal posting, but if I cannot control myself I will stop with it. Thanks for taking time to read, hopeit helps explains shit

[dna9488]

hey man its all good. Look up because there are always better days to come.

If you need to talk man, I am here :)

[ROCKETW19]

bro remember to stay strong and away from the shit! WAY AWAY homie.

[the art of war]

trust me you dont want to, im havng mild psychosis.. it;s =nad i;e witjiiiiwppppppppppppppppppppppppppwpppppppppppppp pppp ww i p wwwww

[Mr I]

In six months time this will all be history bro, just hold the line and appreciate the little things in life

[the art of war]

bro remember to stay strong and away from the shit! WAY AWAY homie.

i am if i used i would be in a section 12 - im having a lot of trouble not being a pussy w/suicide - it's very easy and none of this would be being discussed believe me dude it's very tempting - but I love people , and i will not do that.

I don't understand how so many awful things can happen to these individuals myself included, which i'd prefer to not get into too - but i mean look at the accidents alone, kept me from doing jack shit , but theres been a lot more (not using).

Thanks tho rocket you're a good dude bro.

[the art of war]

In six months time this will all be history bro, just hold the line and appreciate the little things in life

bro in 6 months I'll be lucky to have her still, it wasn't "caught early" - the shit is in bad shape. Fuck cancer man - i hate that shit , pussy ass diseasel

[Mr I]

Thoughts are with you bro, let me know if you wanna hook up on xbox, I'll let you win lol

[the art of war]

thanks brother, but right now I have an awful lot to take care of and sleep needs to happen gettin up at 7.

jsut dont get it MrI - aside from what i mentioned , nearly 20k has been taken from us today - I could continue ! But frankly I am havin trouble focussin with this psychosis. Any shadow or anything - wall comp desk,tv desk - the shadows and objects begin to form new absurd creatuion

[Bouncer]

Sorry about the sickness and loss in your family bro. Nothing I can really say will make you feel better about the situation.

I wish you the best bro.

[the art of war]

I'm honestly just fucking confused, I cannot sleep for dick, I feel like I'm losing my fucking marbles.

Thx for an open voice, it does actually help, and I'm not paying some four eyed piece of shit 90 bucks to prescribe me some SNRI or some shit and watch him agree as I supposedly spill my guts. Shrinks are just pimps for their clients with the ol rx pads. Rather just have a more open yet annonymous forum.

Thank god its not fucking dark out anymore, night time is miserable when you get manic esp hypo and cannot sleep, every shadow morphs into a figure for me and I always believe spiders are dropping all over me. I've wanted many times to just jump in a damn fire to get make believe bugs off of me.... fml

[jack tors]

bro get the fuck outta there IMO your environment its fucking u up. move somewhere to cali or NYC get out for a while if you can. you need too... this should teach you life is short and u might as well enjoy it. i have no words for the last comment. u need to help yourself b4 everyone else.

[the art of war]

normally I get hypo full blown - I'd say once twice a year at most jack tors , I used to be on more medication than walgreens could carry ... I believe it's time away from the gym - lifting and a LEGIT hour of breathing techniques can help greatly without taking any pills.

I was moving but everything that I had saved was stolen, I'm starting fresh in that regards, as in freshly fucking spanked. I might be close to boston but its still small and im awake 24 hours a day now,i ll find the fuck(ers) who took it.

And at this point , i have more time to live life than others - so I think I put others first, no ? Am I wrong , I need honest second opinions. this shit is embarassng as is so please leave that out if you have insight. (anyone, not singling you out homeboy jack)

[Bouncer]

the only advice i can offer to maybe help you ART is on the taking care of your body side of things.

drink lots of water, dont eat junk food, lots of fruits and veggies etc..

dont eat like a bodybuilder right now, eat like someone in the Mediterranean would.

might sound like some "cleansing" none sense but a body full of fresh nutrients is a healthier body and mind then junk food etc...

avoid alcohol and any drugs that you are not prescribed.

as for shadows turning into figures and spiders and shit, i think i would see a doc about that sort of thing, sounds bonkers to me.

[Bouncer]

by the way, how was the money stolen art? you said it was close to 20k? you had that kinda cash under your fucken pillow or something?

got put that shit in the bank homey.