my youngest daughter turns 11 tomorrow it just amazes me on how fast time goes by ...
its great to watch them grow but sad at the same time :noo: ... i miss some of the things we use to do when they were younger .. my oldest is 16 and is acting like it lol ... she does tell me that she wishes we had more time together .. my youngest is so full of life she always knows how to bring a smile to my face when i am not in best of spirits..
my wife and i both grew up in broken homes -- my dad i would see once in a while but was always drunk my mom using me as a whipping post on a daily basis but i did take a few good quality's from my childhood , i speak my mind regardless of the consequences , i take no bullshit and i vowed to myself to keep a family whole and not do to my family what was done to me ...
my girls are my life though at times they feel like my death lol i feel my wife and i have been pretty damn good parents ...
sometimes i need to pull myself back onto the tracks when it comes to my wife though .. i love her with all my heart but find myself unhappy at times i have crossed a line a couple times in the past but the thought of losing this family keeps me focused and away from that line and willing to look past some of the issues i have a problem with ... lack of sex and extra weight being the major ones .. yes i am sure she has many issues with me aswell , i can be very difficult person to be around and she has stuck with me through all my shit , getting busted , fighting , police showing up at late hours for shit ,motorcycle accident , being given less then a 50 percent chance of living when i had meningitis , my 20 week diets for comps , etc etc etc she has been my rock through it all >>>> i owe her more then i will ever be able to repay in life ..
my life is not perfect by no stretch but i wouldn't change the way things have turned out thus far .. i have a family that i never experienced when growing up and that helps to sooth the deep scars of life in so many ways .. though we don't have a lot of money we are comfortable and my girls live a life we didn't have ...
i have been reflecting on my life as of late as i find myself growing more distant from my brothers and sister my mom and dad so these have been some of my thoughts been struggling to find the reasons why .. i think its because i put my girls before me and its something my parents didnt do and my brothers and sister seem to be on same track as they were so i have nothing good to say to them at this present time so feel its best just to distance myself ....
sorry for long post -- sometimes it helps me when i write my feelings down :)
its great to watch them grow but sad at the same time :noo: ... i miss some of the things we use to do when they were younger .. my oldest is 16 and is acting like it lol ... she does tell me that she wishes we had more time together .. my youngest is so full of life she always knows how to bring a smile to my face when i am not in best of spirits..
my wife and i both grew up in broken homes -- my dad i would see once in a while but was always drunk my mom using me as a whipping post on a daily basis but i did take a few good quality's from my childhood , i speak my mind regardless of the consequences , i take no bullshit and i vowed to myself to keep a family whole and not do to my family what was done to me ...
my girls are my life though at times they feel like my death lol i feel my wife and i have been pretty damn good parents ...
sometimes i need to pull myself back onto the tracks when it comes to my wife though .. i love her with all my heart but find myself unhappy at times i have crossed a line a couple times in the past but the thought of losing this family keeps me focused and away from that line and willing to look past some of the issues i have a problem with ... lack of sex and extra weight being the major ones .. yes i am sure she has many issues with me aswell , i can be very difficult person to be around and she has stuck with me through all my shit , getting busted , fighting , police showing up at late hours for shit ,motorcycle accident , being given less then a 50 percent chance of living when i had meningitis , my 20 week diets for comps , etc etc etc she has been my rock through it all >>>> i owe her more then i will ever be able to repay in life ..
my life is not perfect by no stretch but i wouldn't change the way things have turned out thus far .. i have a family that i never experienced when growing up and that helps to sooth the deep scars of life in so many ways .. though we don't have a lot of money we are comfortable and my girls live a life we didn't have ...
i have been reflecting on my life as of late as i find myself growing more distant from my brothers and sister my mom and dad so these have been some of my thoughts been struggling to find the reasons why .. i think its because i put my girls before me and its something my parents didnt do and my brothers and sister seem to be on same track as they were so i have nothing good to say to them at this present time so feel its best just to distance myself ....
sorry for long post -- sometimes it helps me when i write my feelings down :)

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