The time has come

[Scrumhalf]

Best wishes, brother! I know your daughter is an adult and has her own life now, but your son is still in grade school, right? Keep an eye on him, since you mentioned he doesn't like to do outdoor stuff with you. You don't want him withdrawing any more than he already is. You seem like a great father, I'm sure you'll set him up in life just fine.

[lipripper]

Best wishes, brother! I know your daughter is an adult and has her own life now, but your son is still in grade school, right? Keep an eye on him, since you mentioned he doesn't like to do outdoor stuff with you. You don't want him withdrawing any more than he already is. You seem like a great father, I'm sure you'll set him up in life just fine.

He will be 18 in August scrum. And we are good. hes gonna plan some weekends hanging with me when he wants to and we have been discussing things to go and do he enjoys.:thumb:

[MattG]

Damn Rip, sorry to hear that but happy for you at the same time. From the sound of things im sure its definitely for the best. I can relate man, me and my wife have went to shit the past couple years and like you its our little girl that prevents us from getting a divorce. I foresee it in the near future though. Good luck with your new life brother

[lipripper]

Damn Rip, sorry to hear that but happy for you at the same time. From the sound of things im sure its definitely for the best. I can relate man, me and my wife have went to shit the past couple years and like you its our little girl that prevents us from getting a divorce. I foresee it in the near future though. Good luck with your new life brother

Sorry to hear that Matt, I hope things can come to a good conclusion for your family. No matter what that may be bro. Me staying was right for me, It was tough at times and IM sure made it harder on everyone at times, but I went for what I thought was the greater good in the long run. I can only hope I made the right choice.

Its like my brother dave told me...people will be upset with you, some will understand, others wont, But time will make things better. Your a grown ass man youve worked hard and provided for them your whole life. Youve always put them first. Life isnt worth living miserable and lonley. If people cant or dont accept it...then they really dont understand and you probably dont need them in your life anyway. :thumb:

[Chadd77]

Lip, I'm curious how your wife feels. Is this something she wanted as well but just stayed together for this kids? You can tell me to screw off if I'm getting too personal. :D

[lipripper]

Lip, I'm curious how your wife feels. Is this something she wanted as well but just stayed together for this kids? You can tell me to screw off if I'm getting too personal. :D

Honestly I was just a paycheck bro..shes more afraid and worried about that then anything..I was her security. Not a partner or lover, it may have started out that way 30 years ago...but stopped someplace along the way. Like all folks we had our ups n downs and tried things along the way to make it better...always resorted back to the same thing though... I basicly lived my life and provided for them..she lived her life but we were under the same roof doing nothing as a family unit for the most part...hence why I lived in the swamps as much as I have. While I love the woods and the water, I want to enjoy things with someone as well.Im not perfect by any means and their are two sides to every story. Thats how I see it thru my eyes. Im ensuring shes good letting her keep house and not fighting over bullshit..Im starting from scratch again..I hope she can find happiness and want to remain friendly with her.

We have filed an uncontested divorce, both agreeing to it to answer your question.

[BEAST]

its our little girl that prevents us from getting a divorce. I foresee it in the near future though.

Matt I understant your reason but I wouldn't stay together for the kid. My daughter was year and a half when me and my ex split and it was a much better decision for her. Don't know what happened but after the birth of my daughter my ex became a demon. She was fine before the baby I guess it started as a postpartum and she couldn't recovered. Maybe she didn't want to because we tried everything (funny becasue everything got better after we split). For a while I had the same idea, wanted to stay and raise her in a family but if I did that that would've been one fucked up family.
Now this may my daughter going to be 14 and it turned out to be better for her. She is a much happier kid. :)

[lipripper]

Don't know what happened but after the birth of my daughter my ex became a demon. :)

BOOM..NAILED IT!!!!:thumb:

[Bouncer]

Good thread here.

Both sides deserve to be happy and enjoy their lives. It's not fair to anyone to go through life resentful. Nothing worse then that numb feeling you get towards someone you've grown apart from. That stress and anxiety when ever your in the same room. It's brutal and nobody deserves that.

Rip, your wife will find herself again as well. She's been living "under" you for that safety and security for so long she has no sense of self worth. Once she starts doing shit on her own she will kick back into life.

[lipripper]

Good thread here.

Both sides deserve to be happy and enjoy their lives . Nothing worse then that numb feeling you get towards someone you've grown apart from. That stress and anxiety when ever your in the same room. It's brutal and nobody deserves that.

HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD WITH THAT BRO:thumb:

[FitnessBrat]

Damn Rip, sorry to hear that but happy for you at the same time. From the sound of things im sure its definitely for the best. I can relate man, me and my wife have went to shit the past couple years and like you its our little girl that prevents us from getting a divorce. I foresee it in the near future though. Good luck with your new life brother

Hate to hear to hear this, Matt. Your daughter is young, though, and so are you. Don't make her carry that burden. Do what's right for ALL of you.

[Mr I]

Seems like kids can be an issue, common thread here

On before everyone slaughters me, no I'm not trying to make myself feel better.

[TKD]

Damn Rip, sorry to hear that but happy for you at the same time. From the sound of things im sure its definitely for the best. I can relate man, me and my wife have went to shit the past couple years and like you its our little girl that prevents us from getting a divorce. I foresee it in the near future though. Good luck with your new life brother

My wife and I went through some rough times and did a separation where we had different rooms. Thing is neither one of us wanted a life where we wanted to wake up in a house without our kids.

Thing is when we had our first she was 21 and hadn't really experienced life yet being always focused on school. Where I didn't complete any higher education and had been working and partying for years. So it was easy for me to settle down.

What's the point to all this? Well we always said we were meant to be together and the timing was just off. So after a little over a year of her kind of treating me like crap during the separation and her figuring things out, she found there really isn't anything out there she was missing. We will always have desires for others no matter how much we love one person, we just have to realize we can't have it all. We are now happier than ever and doing fantastic for 3 years. This November will be our 10 year anniversary. It may sound cliche but she just needed to get it out of her system. It could have just as easily ended in divorce, which it almost did but that's another story, but instead it made us a stronger couple knowing we can make it through the hardest times. It took away a lot of the stress of worrying about a fight tearing us apart and now a fight is just a thing and when it's over there are no lingering effects.

So the question to really ask is if you two belong together and are just feeling burnt out or do you two truly want different things.

[Bouncer]

Seems like kids can be an issue, common thread here

On before everyone slaughters me, no I'm not trying to make myself feel better.

I think kids become such a priority that it can take away from what you once had.

So I don't think your entirely wrong.

[blm]

Kids totally change the equation. No question about it.