The time has come

[Mr I]

There are alot of mature experienced responses in this thread.

Many from different life stages

Love, lust, soul mate, grass greener, best friend , life stage, mortality, all that stuff comes into my head when I think of relationships

[TKD]

Well it's kids but it's also the financial changes with having kids. It's hard to focus and grow as a couple when the other two are consuming so much of you now.

[Mr I]

Yeah I'm really not wanting to jack lips thread and want best for him and his ex and their kids.

But this talk of kids and me not having any, it's funny how sometimes a loss can create a vacuum for another perspective

If I had a kid then I would surely love it with all my heart but not having one gives me more time to do other things and experiences.

[Scrumhalf]

When you have a kid and want to do things right, you are basically signing a contract that for the next 18 years (or more if you include college), your life is basically repurposed for the benefit of this other individual. If one is unwilling or unable to make that commitment (not referring to you Mr I, so don't take it that way), then one should not have kids.

[Mr I]

Add to that, if you impregnated the wrong chick you have her to deal with for life too, or lose half your earnings


To make matters worse it's often the low moral biznaches that we find most aluring for short term fun lol

[MattG]

Matt I understant your reason but I wouldn't stay together for the kid. My daughter was year and a half when me and my ex split and it was a much better decision for her. Don't know what happened but after the birth of my daughter my ex became a demon. She was fine before the baby I guess it started as a postpartum and she couldn't recovered. Maybe she didn't want to because we tried everything (funny becasue everything got better after we split). For a while I had the same idea, wanted to stay and raise her in a family but if I did that that would've been one fucked up family.
Now this may my daughter going to be 14 and it turned out to be better for her. She is a much happier kid. :)

Glad to hear everything worked out for the better Beast. Yeah, youre probably right. I just hate the thought of not being able to see my daughter on a daily basis. She's young just like yours was when you split up with your ex...mines 2 1/2. But i have no wife anymore and havent for quite some time...i basically have a female roomate that i support, and get nothing back in return. We no longer sleep in the same bed, havent had sex in months, are pissed off at each other all the time...zero companionship whatsoever for 2 years now. And things just keep getting worse. The choice I think is obvious, its just hard to truly let go and restart my life. But its coming soon. Theres no point raising a kid in an unhappy home. Thanks for the input brother, thanks Rip and FB too :)

[TKD]

Glad to hear everything worked out for the better Beast. Yeah, youre probably right. I just hate the thought of not being able to see my daughter on a daily basis. She's young just like yours was when you split up with your ex...mines 2 1/2. But i have no wife anymore and havent for quite some time...i basically have a female roomate that i support, and get nothing back in return. We no longer sleep in the same bed, havent had sex in months, are pissed off at each other all the time...zero companionship whatsoever for 2 years now. And things just keep getting worse. The choice I think is obvious, its just hard to truly let go and restart my life. But its coming soon. Theres no point raising a kid in an unhappy home. Thanks for the input brother, thanks Rip and FB too :)

From a child perspective I think doing it before they can remember is better than waiting if it's going to happen anyways. My parents divorced when I was 3. It's all I know and don't think anything of it. The only hard times was that my dad was military so we moved ab lot and only saw my mom on holidays. My brother was 5 when they divorced and it affected him a bit and his behavior for a few years or more.

[Herc]

Good for you rip. In my opinion marriage is a thing of the past.

[Mr I]

Glad to hear everything worked out for the better Beast. Yeah, youre probably right. I just hate the thought of not being able to see my daughter on a daily basis. She's young just like yours was when you split up with your ex...mines 2 1/2. But i have no wife anymore and havent for quite some time...i basically have a female roomate that i support, and get nothing back in return. We no longer sleep in the same bed, havent had sex in months, are pissed off at each other all the time...zero companionship whatsoever for 2 years now. And things just keep getting worse. The choice I think is obvious, its just hard to truly let go and restart my life. But its coming soon. Theres no point raising a kid in an unhappy home. Thanks for the input brother, thanks Rip and FB too :)

Matt, we're you planning on waiting for your daughter to get to school age so your lady can work more?

[MattG]

Matt, we're you planning on waiting for your daughter to get to school age so your lady can work more?

Not sure what we're gonna do bro. Her suggestion was for her and my daughter to move into her parents house for a separation until we sort everything out. That way she wont have any bills except for transportation, insurance, and personal items which i will take care of. Thats just a short term fix, eventually they will need a place of their own, but for now thats about our only option because she's (my wife) in school and cant work. Ideally it would be easier to wait until my daughter is school age but thats still a few years down the road...

[Bouncer]

Not sure what we're gonna do bro. Her suggestion was for her and my daughter to move into her parents house for a separation until we sort everything out. That way she wont have any bills except for transportation, insurance, and personal items which i will take care of. Thats just a short term fix, eventually they will need a place of their own, but for now thats about our only option because she's (my wife) in school and cant work. Ideally it would be easier to wait until my daughter is school age but thats still a few years down the road...

all details that you wont remember in the future. what your saying is your locked together financially. it's an excuse bro. i understand it but it's an excuse to keep things easy and comfortable. she will be a better person and so will you after it's all said and done. A little struggle can be a very good thing. She will be all the more proud of herself putting herself through school if she has to work for it.

[Bouncer]

This picture I have in my house sums it up nicely.

[Mr I]

Everyone's situation is different but if people decide letting go is for them then yes bouncer that requires strength.

[Bouncer]

Everyone's situation is different but if people decide letting go is for them then yes bouncer that requires strength.

Different situations BUT..

If you are not happy and are staying together because it's just easier, it is never the right way. It will always lead to more misery.

[Bouncer]

I do understand that adding kids to the equation makes things much harder. BUT. It still boils down to being happy or miserable. Be a real shame to wake up one day and look back with misery and regret because you couldn't do what you should have done.