Can a married man be friends with a woman?

[redsquirrel]

The most entertaining thing to me about something like this, is that men are such fucking idiots when it comes to covering their tracks. What's even funnier is when they get caught and calling us women psychos for checking up on them in the first place.

Do they not think that we can read histories on IM, or check their cell records online?? WTF? It's not even like we need to go out of our way to catch them!! Luckily, I haven't had to do that for over a year. But, don't think I don't keep my ducks in a row every once in awhile.

[Nekrawulf]

Originally posted by redsquirrel
The most entertaining thing to me about something like this, is that men are such fucking idiots when it comes to covering their tracks. What's even funnier is when they get caught and calling us women psychos for checking up on them in the first place.

Do they not think that we can read histories on IM, or check their cell records online?? WTF? It's not even like we need to go out of our way to catch them!! Luckily, I haven't had to do that for over a year. But, don't think I don't keep my ducks in a row every once in awhile.

Please dont turn this into a male bashing thread.... Im sure just as many men have been hurt in this manner as women.


Stupidity and likewise, infidelity, transcends gender.

[redsquirrel]

This comment was in no way directed as a male bashing comment. I was saying that some men can act like women are "going behind their back and checking up on them". When in all actuality all it can take is a couple clicks of the mouse. They can turn it around on women like "How dare you question me?"

In the same token, women can be as dumb as well. Men can make it quite simple to check them out. Whereas women can be a bit devious and more sneaky and calculated in hiding their tracks. When women cheat, they seem to put more though into it, more logic...like what their answer or defense will be in a situation. Some women don't make it so easy to get caught is all I was saying.

[Nekrawulf]

=-p its ok red.. i sense a great deal of independence from you... =-]

[Puddles]

Re: Can a married man be friends with a woman?

Originally posted by crazymama
If he had told me about her more openly and had her call the house instead of sneaking around on his cell, I would have felt better.

Bingo! If he had nothing to hide he wouldn't be sneaking his conversations with her. He obviously knew that his feelings weren't completely platonic so he hid what he was doing from you. I think it's fine for married people to have friends of the opposite sex as long as they include their partner in what's really going on. Common sense needs to be used because if incorrect feelings start to develop, the friendship needs to be cut because the marriage comes first. Also, if one of the partners is of the jealous type, the other partner needs to keep that in mind and not do stuff to put their partner in an uncomfortable situation.

[IntensityX]

You need to nip this thing in the bud before it becomes a problem which will esculate into somethine much worse(divorce and other shit)you need to talk to him about this and tell him how you feel about it and work this out.

Lack of communication is a very bad thing in a marriage,it can lead to nothing but problems down the road.

[Blackdream71]

Originally posted by IntensityX
You need to nip this thing in the bud before it becomes a problem which will esculate into somethine much worse

I already said this you turdburglar....:D :p

[Trojanmn2]

You know, I wonder sometimes in situations like this, it was reversed. If it was a relationship in marriage or normal courting. Lets say the guy was doing the checking up and how will that make us look like? Will it show traits of trustworthiness? Is the situation different in gender? I believe in being straight forward with everything regardless of sex. But how people say that when other people claim that when a guy starts sneaking around and checking up on his girl is wrong, and females will go say that they hate when their man doesn't trust them. Is crossing that boundary of nothing to worry about break when she gives him a reason to cross it? I don't mean this situation is for guys only, but the same goes for the opposite as well.

But I agree with everybody else, shoot this thing down now, as fast as possible.

And my final question is? How could a person, male or female, come across in a positive, humble, and patient manner, to ask their partner/significant other whats going on when it starts involving someone else in the picture? Playing the blame game is where it starts and I solely believe in coming across in non-accusing manner.

[redsquirrel]

Originally posted by Nekrawulf
=-p its ok red.. i sense a great deal of independence from you... =-]

How did you guess? I thought I always come off so meek and timid....HA HA HA!!!! It coudn't be that I'm the bread winner of the family, could it? LOL!!:rofl:

[redsquirrel]

Originally posted by Trojanmn2
You know, I wonder sometimes in situations like this, it was reversed. If it was a relationship in marriage or normal courting. Lets say the guy was doing the checking up and how will that make us look like? Will it show traits of trustworthiness? Is the situation different in gender? I believe in being straight forward with everything regardless of sex. But how people say that when other people claim that when a guy starts sneaking around and checking up on his girl is wrong, and females will go say that they hate when their man doesn't trust them. Is crossing that boundary of nothing to worry about break when she gives him a reason to cross it? I don't mean this situation is for guys only, but the same goes for the opposite as well.

But I agree with everybody else, shoot this thing down now, as fast as possible.

And my final question is? How could a person, male or female, come across in a positive, humble, and patient manner, to ask their partner/significant other whats going on when it starts involving someone else in the picture? Playing the blame game is where it starts and I solely believe in coming across in non-accusing manner.

Nicely put. It is very difficult for anybody not to get offended when being asked about something like this...guilty or not...And no matter how delicately it may be put...it's the nature of the beast, I guess.

My advice to her, is to ask her husband to ask his "friend" to go do something together...all 3 of them...

If it's so innocent and "plutonic" then the other woman should have no problem going somewhere. I'd be interested to see how she reacts. If she doesn't want to go, then that would be a red flag something more for sure is going on. If she does go, then you can see how they interract with each other. She may be that much of a bitch to go w/ you and your husband just to spite you and make you THINK there is nothing going on

Man, I can't believe I just totally overanalyzed this like usual...oh, wait, I'm a woman. LOL!!

[trip]

Over analyzation will get you somewhere, rarely though where you think.

Break the chains, roam free, most things are exactly what they are no more no less.

From a former over analyzer addict. Hardest life lesson ever learned.

Red, just funnin' on a slow day

[Starr]

Man oh man...this situation has happened to me, my husband first talking and hanging out with a girl, and then feelings developing, and evolving into a full fledged affair with many many things happening. It hurts...it hurts really bad.

I think the relationship your husband has developed is completely inappropriate and he is being very selfish and insensitive.

Why ever would you want to hurt someone you love????

[Blackdream71]

Originally posted by Starr
Man oh man...this situation has happened to me, my husband first talking and hanging out with a girl, and then feelings developing, and evolving into a full fledged affair with many many things happening. It hurts...it hurts really bad.

I think the relationship your husband has developed is completely inappropriate and he is being very selfish and insensitive.

I agree!

[IntensityX]

Originally posted by Blackdream71
I already said this you turdburglar....:D :p

Like I pay attention to anything you say :rolleyes: :p

[redsquirrel]

Originally posted by Starr
Man oh man...this situation has happened to me, my husband first talking and hanging out with a girl, and then feelings developing, and evolving into a full fledged affair with many many things happening. It hurts...it hurts really bad.

I think the relationship your husband has developed is completely inappropriate and he is being very selfish and insensitive.

Why ever would you want to hurt someone you love????

That took some cahoneys to tell us something like that Starr. ..And you're such a cutie!!!

Maybe he needs to read this from unbiased people how wrong he truly is. Hope everything works out.